Freaking out yet again

[handbagqueen]

Keep getting little moments of panic, really wasting my time on this I know but can't help it.

I'm still waiting for the adult gene to kick in so I can consider myself a responsible person that will be capable of looking after another human being and it's not happening.
I'm hoping that maternal instinct thing is true. I'm going to be 27 at the end of the month and still feel like a child- I'm the youngest in my family by a long way so this is partly why but surely as I'm getting closer to 30 I should be a bit more mature and knowledgeable?! When I think about having to look after a baby it just scares the life out of me.

I was just thinking how happy I've been in the past when my sisters have announced they were having kids (long time ago now) and most people are happy but its because they can hand the baby back after cooing over them.

I'm sorry I don't expect any replies- hormones are just kicking in again and I have no-one to talk to about this, everyone just tells me to pull myself together and that it will be fine but I can't see it like this (even though I'd probably tell others the same!)

 

[fuffins1981]

Hi

I have a son, who is 5, and felt the same while being pregnant....and then when he was born would have slight panic attacks just looking at him....Even know, I feel I am too immature at times to be a mom...And now I am on to my second!

I promise you though, that on the whole you will feel better once you have the baby tan you feel now. Most things are worse in theory than they are in reality. babies are the same on the whole.

I am sure you will be ok. If you ever need to chat to anyone, just pm me. Everyone needs someone to talk to

Sophs

 

[Laur_250]

I know this is what you've been told already but I honestly beleive the moment you hold that baby for the first time all of this doubt will go away and you maternal instinct really will 'kick in!' as they say! I bet as soon as you hold them you will make it your sole mission in life to protect them and you'll be a great mother so there's no need to doubt yourself now cos its like anything I guess until you've tried it you dont know how you'll be, but I know it will come naturally to you! Ive ordered one of those pregnancy relaxation hynotherapy cd's as I get anxious sometimes, maybe this would help you too??XX

 

[handbagqueen]

Thanks guys, I'm hoping you're right and it will all click into place really. I just feel as if I'd be a bit more with it when I had children and would be more 'grown up'!
I think its just cos I'm now half way through this pregnancy lark and it all came as a bit of a shock to begin with and it's now going sooooo quickly. I never really expected to get pregnant so never really thought about it -thought I was barren for some stupid reason!

 

[samanthajayne]

i used to think i was barren too for some weird reason. i have felt like that since being a teenager. my brother actually thinks the same about himself which is strange. although my pregnancy was planned, in the back of my mind i still never expected to become pregnant and now i'm 25 weeks and its going so quickly and i panic more and more every week about the same kind of things as you are. i have been so happy for people i know having babies but it is oh so different when we have our own so don't worry a lot of people on here know how you feel your definantly not alone. its all part of having a baby and the big changes coming to our lives but it sounds like you have a lot of caring family around you as i do which will make things a lot easier so it could be worse.

hope you feel better soon

 

[Quill]

You're not alone. I turned 27 in January and was one of the youngest in my extended family (and an only child). Sometimes I wonder how it's going to be putting a new person into the household. I'm so used to it just being my husband and myself.

I am pretty confident instinct will kick in while caring for the baby when it comes. Even if it doesn't, there is support out there. Things will work out one way or another.

 

[maybebaby]

Since having Austin I really don't understand the idea of being 'able to hand them back'. I love being the one Austin turns to when he's upset, or the one who always gets given Austin when he cries.

I remember having a panic in 2nd tri about the responsibility of bringing up a person but it feels so natural when you're doing it. I love being a mum - even dealing with choking, chicken pox & temper tantrums!

IT sounds like a cliche & you probably don't believe me but it will just feel right when baby's here and you're his/her mummy.

Good luck with everything, have some

 

[Redshoes]

I still feel very young and childlike often, also I am a Mummy and do what I need to to be a good parent, stop being so hard on yourself, becoming a Mummy is a great responsibility but because its your baby its one thats undertaken with pure dedication and love and the rewards are that you can act like a child with your baby, they love it

It's prefectly normal to wonder how you go from being responsible for just yourself to a complete whole other life but its perfectly normal to take that on and do so well, you will always have support from your family and those aorund you, talk to them and et them be there for you Like maybebaby says, its great when your baby wants you, needs you and you want and need to be there for them, it will be OK, and even if it isn't, there' plenty help and support out there for you too. Very best wishes

 

[Miss.Monroe]

i get panicy too sometimes, but after ive had my little cry and freak out i think oh that was silly, and then the next day (like today) i think it will all be fine, im going to take each day as it comes and deal with certain things as they crop up. i find this is best.

the fact that you are even worrying means you want the best for your baby.

 

[dannii87]

I've been exactly the same! Must be a "stage" people go through!

The fact we worry about things like this show we are going to be great mums!

Turning a mum doesn't mean we have to clip the hair into a bun, wear socks with sandals and baggy T-shirts and just generally look like the typical "Soccer Mom" - I for one hope be a glamour puss 8) lol You know what I mean!

The best piece of advice that I received was this;
"It's good to worry now because you won't have time to even think about things like this when baby arrives - You will just do it and get on with it!"

 

[dannii87]

Oh - And my Mum is 40 and is more of a kid than me! She is a great Mum and we're more like sisters than Mum and Daughter, but she's had a boob job, occasionally (not often) goes clubbing, enjoys a social drink and loves her lip gloss and hair extensions!!

SO... You don't have to "conform" as soon as the Mum role begins (Great news huh!?)

 

[sparky]

aw hon, i feel like a kid still and i'm 32!!

TBH i'm pretty convinced from friends who've been there and done that, that it does kick in because you love the little bundle so much and want to do everything with them.

It helps imo if you still are in touch with your chilidish side, my mum always has and she was a brilliant mum and i can remember her putting the rolling stones on loud and us jumping up and down on the beds instead of making them at times...shes 60 now, got a ps3 for her birthday, drives a fast 2 seater..my dads just as bad

remember everyone has to grow old...but we dont have to grow up!

 

[handbagqueen]

Thank you once again ladies! I do feel better today so must've just been having a moment!
I think I just worry about how other people will judge me too much- and this is something I just need to get over and very soon. The psychic woman told me this the other day too so I should just listen and start being more confident in myself and my abilities.
I'm also looking forward to being the one thats reached for and needed like you said maybebaby.
You're right redshoes I forgot that I'll be able to be a big kid anyway!
I'm pretty sure I'm not going to turn into a 'mumsy' just yet but theres always the worry that I will turn into my own mother and unfortunatley she is so far off from your mum Dannii that it really is worrying!

 

[handbagqueen]

aw, sparky I really hope I'm like your mum! My mum is in her 60's too but as soon she became a gran 16 years ago she switched and became such an old woman and thats all I remember of her now