Forget me not...

[megsmeadow]

Just wondered what kind of things people have done or still do to remember their little ones, or to mark special dates?
I've been thinking about making a memory book for all the scan pictures, wrist bands and certificates we got from the hospital. My mum did one similar when my little boy was born and I think this little one deserves one too.
I'd also like a tattoo. Not sure exactly what yet. And some day around the time of our little ones funeral I think we'll plant a tree somewhere.
Just wondered what other folk do?
Thanks for sharing, and for all the continued support! x

 

[Lilmisshopeful]

I've got a book just like you describe. I got it from a lady off Facebook she sells on eBay too it's lovely and just what I wanted. I've got a picture I'll post it. On babies due date I tend to just curl up and feel sorry for myself I have 6 days a year like that. Charlie was by far the worst so I'm sure will be the hardest day and I really have no idea. With my twins we went away for the night just to be together and walked on the beach. Simple but nice. I've bought a cute angel candle decoration for Christmas. I'm thinking I'm gonna release 7 balloons on Charlie's due date one for each of them to be honest hun just being with your oh and holding each other is probably all you need.

I was also going down the tattoo route and have "to beautiful for earth" but in Latin but after talking to oh we both think a bad idea. My book is in my wardrobe on a shelf and reminds me when I want reminding. A tattoo will be in my face reminding me every day and I struggle some days to get through without tears that the rare days I forget for just one day are kind of a blessing for my sanity if you get me. Hope your holding up ok xxx

 

[Lilmisshopeful]

 

[Lilmisshopeful]

 

[megsmeadow]

Lilmiss, thank you so much for sharing, Charlie's book is just perfect. I'll need to take a wee pic of the memory box we were given at the hospital too. They are provided by a charity connected with our local main maternity unit, and I hope to be able to give something back at some point so other parents can continue to benefit from their support. They also have a tree of tranquility where we have requested a metal leaf which we get engraved, then every April and October the new leaves are added to the tree. I've just requested one.
I understand what you mean about a tattoo and that's why I need to wait a while to be sure what I get is the right thing. At the moment I feel like I need to welcome this baby as part of our family, I totally respect that your journey has been very different. It's like a little part of our family is missing just now and I hope to get something to symbolise the love we have as a family including angel babies too.
While it's so difficult to have lost a little one I want to remember the sense of pride that I feel, and the need to somehow celebrate and mark the arrival of our beautiful little baby. I can't share his/her birth story, footprints, pictures with everyone in fear of upsetting other people but I need to make sure all the important memories are together and honoured the same way our son has been.
I'm sorry for rambling, and probably haven't made myself clear. But thank you. X

 

[Lilmisshopeful]

Hi hun. The tree sounds lovely we don't have anything like that here just a book you can put a poem or letter in kind of thing. One of the tattoos I was thinking of was butterflies and flowers. One butterfly to represent my daughter and smaller ones for my angel babies with little halos. That way it showed all my children. I change my mind all the time though I'm terrible for it maybe one day.
I know what you mean about welcoming the baby as part of your family. The pages in my book are full of things I wrote and what I wanted but I gave a page to everyone else too so they could have their say. A way of involving them too. We also named baby a full name as he would have been called in life. The day he was born I don't refer to as the day I lost my baby. It's his birthday. It's makes them real I find. Like my avatar say "a moment in my tummy a lifetime in my heart" just cos he didn't live it dosent mean he didn't happen.

I know exactly what you mean hun about honouring your baby and not being able to share things for fear of upsetting people. To you those memories are beautiful and that's your baby and he is beautiful. Hun if you want to write your birth story down and share it with pictures if you want I would be happy to read it and talk about it any time you want. Massive hugs xxx

 

[flisstebbs]

The engraved tree leaves sound amazing. Great idea. I think you sound like an incredible lady coming through this tragedy the way you are. I can only hope happier times are ahead for you, and that however you renember your LO that it brings you peace. X

 

[megsmeadow]

Thanks fliss, I only hope this is me coping and not bottling it all up.
I'm going to phone one of the charities today to find out about funeral arrangements. The next step in our journey. x

 

[megsmeadow]

Lilmiss, thanks for your reassurance. I'm glad I don't sound too crazy! x

 

[megsmeadow]

I've written a poem. I'm sure the vocabulary is very poor and grammatically incorrect but it's mine and it says a bit about how things have been for me.

We were worried from the start, my little girl, my fighter,
An incling or is it parents instinct that you will go no further.
At twenty weeks a special time we hoped to see you wriggling,
Instead a deafening silence, 'I'm sorry' we heard ringing.

All we can do is wait and wait for what would feel like forever,
'Firstly, I'm very sorry for your loss' is delivered over and over,
Today is a day for family, for embracing and being together,
But we'll talk and cry, and hold and cry for that's our only comfort.

A strength within helps deliver you through pain, against all instinct,
A bittersweet delivery to welcome you, and say farewell,
So proud of you my little girl, perfect fingers and perfect toes,
We'll keep you in our hearts always, yours always in ours.

Talking will get us through, every minute, every day,
Every minute since those positive lines, even now you are away.
We're closer than we've ever been, our little family,
One piece only in our hearts though, through every single day.

Now time for your big goodbye, so quiet and so simple,
A bear, a rose, heartbreaking goodbyes, love you Little One.
Just like your time with us babe, so brief and quickly over.
A time for Mummy and Daddy to say we love you baby Oirrinn.

They say time is a healer, but memories are forever,
Reminders of you, part of us, kept precious, eternally treasured,
One for sorrow, two for joy, three for a girl......
our family, with us forever and ever.

 

[laurat]

Gorgeous honey! Xxx