Feeling sooo left out :o(

[hev&madi]

OH has really peed me off today, he says that his parents told him I am not invited to his birthday meal on saturday because I am not family and that they dont want to talk to me and sort things out. They said the only time they will see me is when baby is born, when they come around to my house to see it.

My MIL said that she WILL be taking the baby on boxing day to her parents because they go there every year, but I am not invited.
(theres noway shes taking my baby anywhere)

Arrgghh how evil are they, I wouldnt mind so much if I had done something to upset them, but I havent done anything.

OH isnt backing me up at all. He says he feels as if I am blaming him. Im not blaming him, I would just like a little support and for him to stand up to his parents.

I have sent my MIL some flowers should arrive monday saying, Im sorry if I have done anything to upset you and I hope that we can start a fresh. Love (my name)

Whats the betting shes just going to throw them in the bin and tell my OH they didnt arrive.

god i would be so ANGRY!

 

[chocolate-monster]

OH and I sat down and had a talk this morning before he went off to work. Said he would phone his mother in his lunch hour and speak to her about the way she is acting towards me. (finally my nagging paid off)

He just called me to say that he has spoken to her. Told her that he will be going tonight, but doesnt want it to be a family meal for his birthday, because half of his family arnt invited. He told her he was really upset that she didnt want to know me and told her to sort whatever problem she had out with me. I told him to tell her that I dont want any of his family at the hospital when I have the baby, because at that time I just want my FAMILY there.

As you can probably tell the b*** that she is, she didnt take it that well. She told him im not invited and thats that. She even said its stupid that hes thinking that me and my little boy are his family aswell. She said thats fair enough that I dont want her at the hospital, they werent going to go anyway. She said she'd see him tonight at the meal, and hung up.

Really starting to feel like im back in primary school. Shes sooo pathetic.
I guess im just going to have to sit tight and see what happens.

 

[Keely]

oh my god, what a horrible family!!! I really feel for you babe!!

I can understand your OH dont wanna upset if mum by saying something, but he has to grow some balls and tell hims mum that is bang out of order!!!

And the cheek of her to say she will be taking the baby on boxing day without you!! HAHA think again lady!!!

Poor you, i hope you are feeling better xxxxxx

 

[Strangeness]

Omg that is actually disgusting! I can't believe people can be so cruel!

I understand how you feel on some levels hun, I posted on the relationships part today about what a cow my mil is to me and my husband doesn't stand up to her either. Not trying to put an even bigger downer on things but since my son was born she's got worse. She even said to my brother in law (his girlfriend is pregnant after they have been together 3 months I might add) that she doesn't want a boy from him she wants a girl! I found that so hurtful because I had a boy so does that make him not good enough! Stupid bitch, well she got her wish cos they found out thursday it's a girl so she can play happy families with them and leave me alone!

I think both me and you should have more of a moan at our partners, you defo don't need the stress with being pregnant! I know how you feel hun

 

[Tam]

OMG!!!!!!

That is just awful, and I am sorry I see that your OH doesn't want to cause trouble, but he should be standing by you 100%..........YOU and your son and your little bean is his family now, and his Mother has to realise this and accept it.....

By going to the meal without you he is encouraging her behaviour, as he is giving the impression that "it is ok to treat my partner like this, because if it wasn't, I wouldn't be here" ........BUT if he said, I am not coming if my OH isn't invited.........he is blatently telling her he is NOT accepting her behaviour and you ARE that important to him!

My OH would never do that to me, he has told his Mum in no uncertain terms that visiting is out of the question as his family needs him at the moment (when my Mum died) he has also refused to go and see her and told her so, as my Mum needed him, more than she needed him at the time...........If that makes sense?

I know what it is like not to want to upset your immediate family.............but he has to realise that one day they will NOT be there and how long can you go on like this for???

All he has to do is show her, he is not accepting of her behaviour towards you!...................Then the ball is in her court!

I wish you the best of luck babe, but don't dare let it get you down, she sounds like a right nasty dragon that you are better off without! xx

 

[Em78]

Did he still go to the meal hun?

i did refrain from posting at first as this made me so mad i didnt have anything consrtuctive to say! anyway kept thinking about it over the weekend and am calmer now!

as lots of people have said this really does need sorting. at least your oh is on your side now - its a start at least.

maybe point out to him that it cant go on like this. will it end up that him and the baby are invited to things but not you & zack? i think he needs to make it clear to her that whether she likes it or not you are a family and she either see's you all together or not at all. if he doesnt put his foot down now then she will keep on and it will be horrible when the baby comes.

i think babies can be great healers of rifts like this. hopefully when she meets her little grandchild she will realise how pathetic and silly all this is.


good luck hun - see i didnt go mental as i'm calm now! (silly bitch mil- oh sorry that slipped out )
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[chocolate-monster]

Hate posting under a different name im getting so confussed, whatever it takes to keep the peace

Yeah he did still go, but he told me that he made it clever to his parents that he wasnt happy about me not being there. His 'wonderful' mother kept telling him to cheer up during the meal because he looked depressed. He told her that 'of course im going to beunhappy because half of my family arnt there and thats why im not going to cheer up, Im descusted by the way you are handling things and I hate the way you are trying to make me chose between my girlfriend and you. If you make me decide I will always chose Jo over you.' ( my OH has finally grown some balls)

Anyway his mother didnt really say anything to that, just kind of looked at him and walked off. When they got home there were massive arguments. He sat his mum and dad down and told them they were acting like children. He said he is going to be a father himself, so at the time when he should be getting support, they are nowhere to be seen. His parents both agreed they have been really harsh with him, didnt meantion me at all.

So I texted OH to ask him how the meal went, he asked me to come online and talk to him over MSN so his parents wouldnt hear our telephone convo. So I did, we were chating away... then the subject changed and we stopped talking about his 'wonderful' parents. All of teh sudden Owain (my OH) goes silent, stops typing... I asked what was wrong.... no reply. So I sat and waited....

He started talking again and was really angry and upset. I asked what the matter was, he said his father had just entred the room and told him that he was ashamed of him and that he wished he wasnt his son. I asked what the hell had started that off and OH didnt know, he said his dad just came into the room and said that. (his parents are bloody weird) So I asked OH to go into his dad and have a word to him, but told him not to shout. So OH being a good boy and doing as hes told did lol

His dad told him that he no longer wanted him living there and was totaly ashamed of him, because he is useless and 'not normal' OH asked what his dad meant by 'not normal' and his dad said because you are watching TV and on the computer at the same time. (wft???? I didnt understand either) So OH told his parents that the bottom line is if they dont except him, me and my son then they sure as hell arnt going to except the baby and told his parents to basicly F*** off.

I cant believe his parents are being like this, they are nuts.

 

[Em78]

oh my god they are 100% crazy

whats up with them? thats beyond weird. your poor oh - its hard enough when its your future inlaws but so hurtful when its your own parents. poor love.

good for him for standing up to them. they have shown their tru colours now though - he must see them for what they are.

he has you and zack (lovely to see how he already includes Zack as his family - thats so sweet ) and will soon have his baby too - he doesnt need them. its their loss!

at least he seems to be with you on this now - two is better than one!


take care hun

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Tam]

Sounds like you are both better off without them........maybe one day when they grow up they will come running.

They will be the ones full of regrets babe, you will have a lovely loving family, and your OH parents will always wonder what their grandchild is doing etc etc if they don't grow up quickly!

How weird they are?!!? Not exactly good role models are they?

xx

 

[Tam]

Forgot to say, there is 100% support for you hun, he certainly told them who matters to him! Good on him, you should be so proud!! xx

 

[chocolate-monster]

Me thinks his parents have a screw lose somewhere lol

Thnaks for the replies have been boring my mum with all of his, she cant believe they are being so strange aswell.

So proud of my OH..... hes so used to getting walked over by them, glad he finally learned what they are like.

 

[Manda]

i personally wouldnt stand for it let them walk over you once and they'll carry on doing it x

 

[amy]

have a party and not invite them ( maybe the christening) as long as your oh is with you stick two fingers uo to them.!!!!!!xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Tara & Liam]

i cant believe what i am reading, that is disgusting.

i met my dh when kieran was 5 and his family have been wonderful. you would never know that kieran wasnt his biological child.

well done to your oh for standing up to them.

x

 

[Tam]

Davina, I am lucky to be in the same shoes as you.

My OH's family have taken DD as their own, DD is 7 and I have been with my OH for 4 yrs, who is also an excellent Dad to her! xx

 

[Tara & Liam]

I know what you mean Tam. If they hadnt been so welcoming to Kieran then Jon would have cut his family out.

 

[Tam]

Exactly the same as my OH Davina........if there is any favouritism over the new baby, it will STILL happen, although I can't see that to be honest, they are great!

We are sooo lucky!!! Anchor them down! xx

 

[Rosieroo]

Your OH's parents sound DERANGED! I can't believe they want to take your baby away from you yet wont even talk to you. Do they not realise that the baby is half you and not 100% you OHs (if you know what I mean). Seriously if it was me I would be absolutely fuming, well done to you OH for sticking up for himself though. I really hope that you are feeling ok and not getting too upset, if anyone said they were taking Ella off of me they'd have a bloody war on their hands though.

Grrrr You are a lot more diplomatic than me!!

 

[Hypnorm]

I can't belive how you are being treated! what idiots.

If that had been my hubby he would never have gone to the meal, if iwasn't invited he would say sorry i anit coming either you are a couple!

As for taking th baby away on boxing day well...

Hope you get things sorted but it wso sound like they will continue to critisise.