Feeling really down.

[violet13]

Hi ladies,

I mentioned in another post about my mum having cancer. Well today isn't good or bad news it's another scan that shows the mass in colours yellow stage 1 orange 2 and red is the worst 3-4. So now we need to wait for that, I haven't had a great day anyway been thinking and over thinking about it and her treatment and how it'll go and I need to get out for a bit just a while but I can't drive and the buses have stopped now as we live in the middle of no where and hubby was in work at 3am and still not home he didn't sleep well. I just feel so f*cking fed up of everything going wrong. My mums a good person she doesn't deserve this in any way shape or form and I just want to help but I can't I live too far away. The beginning of this year was amazing we found out about the baby and now my mum may not make it to see him....we don't know yet what it is or how big/bad/aggressive it is but I am constantly at home thinking about this nothing takes my mind off it. I'm trying so hard to be strong for my mum not crying on the phone or talking of other things instead of the cancer but she's my mum, I can't lose her and I just want her to be okay to be safe and happy and carefree not feeling fed up herself. Right now I hate my life I hate how I feel when I've got this beautiful little baby growing inside me but I think...she may not see him grow up or see him get married and have his own kids. I just needed to get it all out. Thank you for listening xxx

 

[ml600]

I'm sorry you're going through this! Cancer is the devil and it's horrible that your mum is going through it, but so many cases are treated effectively. I know it's hard but try and think positively, and hopefully the positivity will rub off on your mum too. I wish her all the best xxx