Ex OH came to see me last night think reality has hit him

[LucyAnn]

No need to reply just me rambling on and getting off me chest
After no contribution i saw him last a month ago when he showed up was aggressive and abbusive etc.

He contacted me yest opologising for behaviour and asked to see me last night, i said yes.

He was completely the man i had known before not the horrible thing that showed up a month ago. he kept feeling baby, and babys kick etc hugged me a few times and said he had contacted me as his sister in the morning mentioned there was only 6 days till due date and he said that flicked a switch, in his head he just though oh its next month, lots of time yet etc.

(Reality hitting him made me laugh!! bloody men)

Well he seemed really amicable he was just amazed by my bump absolutley so excited which he has never been before.
Seeing him again tonight to i presume get down to nitty gritty of access, maybe names of baby and stuff and looking forward etc, i will also tell him about the extra stress ive had of growth scans etc.

I still think its very weird that one time he can come accross so nice and the next time so disrepectful like splite personality. And he is not coming into my home tonight i dont trust him that much! last time he was in flat he threw something aggressively in kitchen.

Sad to know my baba wont have a 24/7 father but will always do the best for little one. And dont worry ladies wont be letting all me guards down as once a prick always a prick lol!!

xxxxxx

 

[Lovisa]

Sounds like you have every planned, a level head on you
I'm glad you have thought things through and willing to talk to him about stuff and not doing it at yours incase he flips.

It is funny how some people don't realise things until its to late.
You said its a shame that baby won't have a 24/7 father but do you truly mean that? If he hasn't changed that much baby could be as much danger as you. Or even if its just an aggressive atmosphere, do you really want LO growing up around that?
In this situation baby only needs you. If FOB is wanting to be around and you agree to it then LO will see his/her father and hopefully always in the best of moods.
All the best with tonight and motherhood when LO finally comes into the world xx

 

[pinkyprincess]

At least he's taking resoponsibility! Really hope for your and babas sakes that he keeps this up! I had a part time dad as a kid, who I didnt see at one point for about 7 years - it aint pretty

 

[ForestLas80]

Good luck honey, really feel for you and hope he is a gentleman again tonight. He is lucky u r being so understanding. Take care of you and LO. He comes last after everything you've been through. Xxxx

 

[roxane 1985]

yeah i'd be wary if i was you, my mates ex was like that, nice as pie one min then a bit of a nut the next. was horrible to see how he was with her and what he did infront of the kids and they werent even together - not that it makes it ok just pointing it out lol

you just be careful hun and remember if when the baby is here you dont feel comfortable letting him have the baby unsupervised due to previous behaviour your in every right to have supervised visits until you feel happy ok.

good luck with last bit of pregnancy

 

[saze]

oh chick i really feel for you, i hope your okay x

 

[Sarah13]

Good luck tonight, sounds like your going about things the right way. When you do eventually sort access and finances etc might be best to have it put into a proper agreement, not go to court, but just so you know where everything stands as you don't want him messing you and baby about a few months down the line, there's lots of family mediation places so your on neutral ground as well that really help with these kind of things, a third party who has nothing to do with either of you really helps both of you to listen to each side and how best to move forward.

 

[LucyAnn]

Sounds like you have every planned, a level head on you
I'm glad you have thought things through and willing to talk to him about stuff and not doing it at yours incase he flips.

It is funny how some people don't realise things until its to late.
You said its a shame that baby won't have a 24/7 father but do you truly mean that? If he hasn't changed that much baby could be as much danger as you. Or even if its just an aggressive atmosphere, do you really want LO growing up around that?
In this situation baby only needs you. If FOB is wanting to be around and you agree to it then LO will see his/her father and hopefully always in the best of moods.
All the best with tonight and motherhood when LO finally comes into the world xx

i spose your right with his upredictable behaviour it prob is best to keep stern with access etc just feels weird like looking ahead its me standing in way of the baby having a daddy and daddy having baby 24/7 even though i ended our relationship it was due to his all of a sudden mental behaviour. So its not guilt i feel because jon bought this situation on but it is something i feel think i just feel sorry for them both, i feel sorry his behaviour and like you say even if he has changed back to his normal self its a shame too little too late when damage is already done. xxxx

 

[marley]

Hey Lucy,

Well done for staying strong!x

 

[stacey_lea86]

Glad things are looking up. Keep that strong head on your shoulders & you'll be just fine! xx

 

[LucyAnn]

yeah i'd be wary if i was you, my mates ex was like that, nice as pie one min then a bit of a nut the next. was horrible to see how he was with her and what he did infront of the kids and they werent even together - not that it makes it ok just pointing it out lol

you just be careful hun and remember if when the baby is here you dont feel comfortable letting him have the baby unsupervised due to previous behaviour your in every right to have supervised visits until you feel happy ok.

good luck with last bit of pregnancy

Thank you, forgot to say aswell. we split up before he could action his 2 weeks paternity leave from work so said last night how he has book 2 weeks hol from my due date and if im late work have been understanding and will change it etc. He literally said that, not what he plans to do with the 2 weeks etc he certainly will not be permitted to be round me 24/7 etc so not sure what he thinking and thankyou. I am planning to let him in my home when baby is here , supervised, his family are gonna be another drama, so many of them ive got a massive family too dunno how im gonna juggle everyone! im gonna feel like a doctor with appointments lol but it is nice to know i can turn away people etc and control the access etc xxxx

 

[LucyAnn]

Good luck tonight, sounds like your going about things the right way. When you do eventually sort access and finances etc might be best to have it put into a proper agreement, not go to court, but just so you know where everything stands as you don't want him messing you and baby about a few months down the line, there's lots of family mediation places so your on neutral ground as well that really help with these kind of things, a third party who has nothing to do with either of you really helps both of you to listen to each side and how best to move forward.

Thanks Sarah. that sounds like a great step forward to look at. Will defo go through CSA for money as jon first originally promised a contribution 4 months ago and 4 pay days later nothing! unfortunatly legally they can get out of paying anything before baby is here. But how unreliable he has been, to promise help and with hold it i would never trust him to make the payments to me with CSA xxxx

 

[Bunnykins]

You are so level headed and brave that you will be more than enough of a parent for your lo so don't worry about the part time dad issue, your doing the right thing not letting him back in your house just because he managed to be nice one night, it will take time to build up that trust after what he did, I think your being more than fair discussing names and access with him, cos if it were me I'd be making him run through hoops until he'd proved he'd changed and matured enough to handle the responsibility of being a father!!
Good luck with tonight and remember YOU got your baby this far, and you coped with all the stress of growth scans etc, you deserve a medal

 

[LucyAnn]

You are so level headed and brave that you will be more than enough of a parent for your lo so don't worry about the part time dad issue, your doing the right thing not letting him back in your house just because he managed to be nice one night, it will take time to build up that trust after what he did, I think your being more than fair discussing names and access with him, cos if it were me I'd be making him run through hoops until he'd proved he'd changed and matured enough to handle the responsibility of being a father!!
Good luck with tonight and remember YOU got your baby this far, and you coped with all the stress of growth scans etc, you deserve a medal

awww thankyou thats lovely nearly made me cry xxxx

 

[littlemiss83]

I think its great that you's are getting on.

Sounds like reality has finally hit home & sounds like he's ready to be a daddy!!

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Totally agree with bunnykins and everyone else! U know what your doing and what you want ur amazing!!