Engagement ring... No proposal?? Confused :(

[Mummy to one]

Hi ladies,

I was looking from some advise as I'm so confused and stressed at the moment and don't want to tell any of my family or friends.

My partner and I have been together since we were 14, so around 12 years (with a break in the middle for 3 years). I love him to bits and I would love for us to get engaged but he just doesn't want to yet. Last week he was acting suspicious so I we had a bit of an argument and he turned round and said he had an engagement ring and showed me it. He was so annoyed at me and I left the house for a while. When I got back I apologised and we are ok now how ever the ring has never ever been mentioned again. It's my birthday in 2 weeks and I had really hoped that might be what it's for. I've told one friend who has advised I don't say anything to him incase it is. However today he asked me what I wanted for my birthday and said if there will be no engagement stuff or anything and please not to get upset. I'm devastated. I have wanted nothing more than this for years. I should add that we do argue from time to time as I am more of the romantic type and he is nothing of the sort. He says he shows me that he loves me and doesn't need to tell me. I know I need to stop getting on at him because I'm making it worse but I don't understand the ring when it looks like he has no intentions of proposing any time soon

Please help.

Charlotte x

 

[SR35]

Hi, maybe he just wants to throw you off the scent as he knows you will probably be expecting it? Or maybe he wants to wait a bit so that it's a proper surprise? He might be upset that he had a big romantic proposal planned and it got ruined. Probably best to just not mention it again and hopefully you won't have to wait too long!

 

[Mummy to one]

Thank you. I just can't help but worry because he not the romantic type at all so I never ever thought that he would propose to me so seeing the ring made me so excited an now I'm just devastated again. He's not the type to propose so I can't get my head around why he has a ring but I guess your right if he has a ring he must be planning to do it sooner or later! I just hope more than anything it's the sooner coz I feel like an idiot lol x

 

[Lyllian]

I reckon he's got something planned for soon after but not on your birthday, so doesn't want u thinking it will be that day then getting upset and ruining your birthday

 

[Mummybexee]

He will propose when he is ready - cut him abit of slack?

 

[mel0013]

My oh is exactly the same............ Really unromantic. I used to pester all the time and drop (not very subtle) hints about rings and dresses etc and eventually gave up going on about it.

Before Xmas I kept saying how much I liked the new Swarovski star dust bracelets, Xmas day no bracelet but I got a lovely diamond ring!

They want to do it when you least expect it so what's stressing him out may be that your waiting for it and he's waiting for a moment when you're not waiting for it or thinking about it xxx

 

[nicejuicypear]

Can't you just talk to him about it instead of all this waiting and hoping kind of thing? I never understand that mindset. If you want to get married, either propose yourself or have an adult conversation about it, don't just hover about waiting for him to do something.

 

[Mummy to one]

Hi everyone thank you for all your replies. I know its easy for some people just to say give him space however i wouldn't be as bothered if I hadn't seen the ring. It's my birthday tomorrow and I know there's not way he's going to propose. We don't even have anything organised for my birthday so I guess it's just the horrible feeling of disappointment that I can't shake off. I feel terrible but I don't know how am
Even going to look happy when r does give me my present. It sounds terrible I know I don't know why I'm feeling this sad. Xx

 

[Drc]

I think what's happened here is that you ruined the surprise and that has annoyed him, you've seen a ring now so you know it's going to happen, just relax and wait, you know it's on the horizon.