Don't Know if I Should Phone HV

[Jade&Evie]

The past couple of weeks I have been really down/ Sometimes things get a bit too much and I just start crying and can't stop.

My MIL took EVie for the day the other day and my Mum had her over night on Saturday as Jon and I went out so it's not that I don't get a break from her

I really miss my OH when he's not here- I feel like he's the only person I ever see. I have been to the mum and baby group a few times but they are really 'cliquey' and I feel even more isolated there! I am on netmums but haven't met up with anyone. I'm too shy

My OH and I are rowing all the time. He packed his bags on saturday morning and said he was going because he "didn't think we were right together". When I asked him if he loved me he said "I don't know". Aftera fag he said that he DID love me, but he was fed up with always arguing and he'd rather be friends with meif it meant we'd stop rowing. He's staying, but I think it's just for Evie now. I don't feel like I get any affection from him at all anymore; and that's all I want from him

I get wound up by little things- on Sunday I found my friends were really winding me up by acting chilidsh; yet a few months ago I would have found it funny.

I don't know if I should talk to my HV. My Mum thinks it's sleep depravation, I don't kow what John thinks because he just falls asleep every time I try to talk about it with him

 

[Sherlock]

Have you done the Edinburgh test? You may have PND connected to your sleep deprivation and so on. Mine is pretty much down to my health woes and isolation and one very demanding baby. Its not really stemming from anything else per se.

I'd give your HV a call and see her. Have a chat and hopefully she can help. Mine is going all out to get me to some support and a friendly face to visit me at home (volunteer parents organisation to help connect new mums).

 

[beanie]

you are going through a period of adjustment, both you and your OH. It is so normal to feel how you are feeling, you are tired, you have this little person relying on you for everything. It is really isolating too, even though I am going to a group, and try and get out as much as possible it is just me and the kids mainly and I really miss my OH. My baby group seemed cliquey at first but I just kept on going and eventually they started talking to me and now I have made a really good friend there and we meet up often.

Me and myOH went througha really bad patch after Seren was born, and nearly split up a few times. It was really hard but you just have to keep communicating. Try and pick a time when he's not goingto fall asleep. MyOH said he found it overwhelming to have Seren at first and it scared him, and I was angry as I felt he had it easy etc etc.

If you feel like you need to talk to your HV I would recommend it, but don't dtress or worry as it does sound normal. As for crying, ask any new mum, its like an unwritten rule you have to cry at least once a day. Those pesky hormones have a lot to answer for

 

[DebbieM]

I think it is all pretty normal to be honest. Your life and body have gone through major changes and sometimes they are hard to deal with. Along with the lack of sleep and constant demand for attention from a screaming baby, you still have your own life to get on with and a house to look after.

I felt a bit like this in the first few weeks. I also became paranoid that Matt had perhaps gone off me and was only going to be with me now because of Luke. Ridiculous! He never even gave reason for me to think that.

You should perhaps speak to your HV and see if she can help you with getting out and about a bit more. I've been catching up with a few old school and work friends recently, more so through facebook but have met up with one in particular and it's been good for me and for Luke too.

Speak to your OH too and tell him exactly how you feel. They're often a lot more understanding than we think they will be. xxxxxx

 

[trixipaws]

having a baby puts a strain on any relationship i think, despite it being a wonderful thing which also builds strength to the relationship! i think especially if the baby wasnt planned and the new parents are not "typical parent" types (like me for example, i was always at clubs and parties getting off my tits, not mother-material at all.)

my boyf and i have gone thru a very difficult patch lately, it hit us late i think, melissa was about 9 months when we started rowing and getting stressed.

everything is jusdt so much more serious when ur parents! things which before might be just a minor problem are just magnified when u got ur precious child to think of too! its a huge massive strain!

i think speakin to ur HV will help tho anyway, coz there of course is a chance its more than just normal adjusting-to-new-baby-strain. u could have PND, i wouldnt kno as i never had it so wouldnt recognise the signs.


let us kno how u get on