Dilema

[Slinky Sarah]

Well its my 21st on new years day.
We are gonna be at my Aunties and got told last new year (i apent it with just OH last year for the first time) that I would have to be at hers this year as its my 21st for a party. Now me and OH arent together (for the foreseable future ) this isnt a problem, only will be if we get back together as i would like it to be just me and him again.

Now i told my parents i didnt want a party for my birthday. It would also be on the 9th or 10th of January (cos of new year etc) which is when the baby would have been due and im Really not gonna be in a celebrating mood. And if me and Lee do get back together im hoping we can do our plan of going to a cottage in Scotland from the 3rd to 10th of Janurry so we can be alone on the baby's due date.

Mum has just come into me now and said we are planning your party for the 10th of January so your brother can be here (hes a DJ and lives away so wont see him on my birthday.). I just said oh i dont really want one tbh mum and she said well its just gonna be family at home.

Now am i out of order saying i dont want them here? Only my cousin knows about the second baby, she would understand im sure but how can i say no without it all coming out and then everyone beign upset with me for not saying?

Gah

(Sorry hormones are fllying a little too...would have been 19 weeks now and just cant help but think about it all )

 

[LilysMummy]

I think and you know I think this, dont plan it around what you and Lee "might" be doing "if" your back together. I think you should embrace the fact your family is planning a lovely birthday party for you! And that your brother can make it. And just put Lee out the picture for now.

Obviously I know it will be a delicate situations - I cant really comment on that Im sure somebody else will.

 

[Foxxi]

I think and you know I think this, dont plan it around what you and Lee "might" be doing "if" your back together. I think you should embrace the fact your family is planning a lovely birthday party for you! And that your brother can make it. And just put Lee out the picture for now.

Absolutely agree!

You're a young girl... you have your full life ahead of you... theres more to life than planning it around a bloke your not with!!!

Find someone who will accept you for who you are and feels the same way about you..as what you do about them!

Personally, I dont see a dilemma here... maybe there would be a dilemma if you where actually with him and made plans.. but your not and you havent!

Just appreciate the party and have fun!

 

[Slinky Sarah]

Its more the days its gonne be on though as well (due date of baby).

I know i cant hold hope and getting back with lee, i dont think that will ever happen again tbh.

Ill end up having it anyway no doubt but i just know my heart wont really be in it

Sorry if you think this is pointless...im just really stressing over it all atm

 

[Krystal]

You should realise that family is an important thing. Stop pining over Lee and what if's and enjoy having your family around you on your birthday. They are the ones who are there for you and have loved you your whole life yet you would rather wait to see what happens with Lee. It's madness.

I can kinda understand the date is going to be difficult but all the more reason to do something that will lift your spirits. You know we all deal with things in different days but each year on anniversary of my Mam's death I make sure I am up dressed out of house and doing something, even if it's to release a balloon or something. Climbing into bed with your duvet isn't the answer. There is nothing stopping you on the day from doing something to recognise that date but then on the evening go out with your family and be thankful for what you do have.

Good luck

 

[LilysMummy]

Exactly what SC said. Forget about Lee for the day. Then spend the day if you wish with your memories of bean do something special and then enjoy your day in the evening. Raise a special glass in the memory of bean. Or even tell your parents and maybe all raise a glass to bean.

Dont stress over it now you have a few months before it all comes round.

 

[Slinky Sarah]

thanks for your advice.
Your right i should jsut forget about it and go along with it and just do it to take my mind off Bean.

 

[Babylicious]

time to think of Sarah - and your 21 PARTY

 

[Slinky Sarah]

hmmm....think ill wangle the flying trip from them?

 

[Babylicious]

 

[zebrastripes]

Everyone's said it all really, don't get into the trap of planning the tiny details of your future round Lee. It's not like it's going to be a wild party: a small family gathering may be just what you need to help you along at a difficult time