Pregnancy comes with a lot of expectations. From home pregnancy tests to routine prenatal care to baby showers, expecting moms often breeze through these milestones with ease. Sure there are the heartburn complaints and the swollen feet to deal with
But most pregnant women expect their pregnancy to be normal. And you know what? It usually is.
But sometimes things go tragically wrong. And when it happens to us, we must either make the heart-rending decision to try again, or simply to let go, which can be especially difficult when we dont even have choices to try again.
For those of us who have lost a child in any stage of pregnancy or after birth, finding out youre pregnant again is nothing less than a mind game.
Suddenly, decisions that once seemed simple became complicated. Milestones you once reached with ease now feel like youre climbing Mt. Everest. Carly Marie says its like being handed an instant anxiety disorder. After 5 losses, I couldnt agree more.
For me, pregnancy after loss felt nothing like pregnancy before my loss. It was a whole new game, with new rules to navigate. As I am working through my seventh pregnancy now (and fingers crossed, second live birth), here are a few things Im doing differently. Maybe you can relate.
1. Pregnancy tests.
The test turns positive. You squeal. You either cant wait to share the news with your partner Or maybe youre hesitant as youre not sure youre ready to be a mom.
No matter how you feel, you are certain of one thing: That positive pregnancy test equals a baby that you will one day have in your arms!
2. Due dates
Just like a positive test used to mean a baby, due dates used to mean you knew when that baby would be in your arms.
Then, you had an empty due date. Or you passed your due date after having a baby you couldnt keep.
Suddenly, you cant put a lot of stock in your due dates. In fact, you might not even want to know yours at least not yet. There were times I held off finding out my due date. If it was going to be an empty due date, I didnt know what it was.
As your due date approaches, you may feel excited. But most parents after loss often feel anxious. They are ready to get their due date over, so they can just know if they get to keep this baby or if theyll be walking the road of loss yet again.
3. Appointments
In a previous (easy) pregnancy, you just sort of soared through appointments. You figured your doctor would share with you all the information you needed to know.
After the loss of a pregnancy (and by default, a loss of control), your interactions with your doctor might change significantly.
But sometimes things go tragically wrong. And when it happens to us, we must either make the heart-rending decision to try again, or simply to let go, which can be especially difficult when we dont even have choices to try again.
For those of us who have lost a child in any stage of pregnancy or after birth, finding out youre pregnant again is nothing less than a mind game.
Suddenly, decisions that once seemed simple became complicated. Milestones you once reached with ease now feel like youre climbing Mt. Everest. Carly Marie says its like being handed an instant anxiety disorder. After 5 losses, I couldnt agree more.
For me, pregnancy after loss felt nothing like pregnancy before my loss. It was a whole new game, with new rules to navigate. As I am working through my seventh pregnancy now (and fingers crossed, second live birth), here are a few things Im doing differently. Maybe you can relate.
1. Pregnancy tests.
The test turns positive. You squeal. You either cant wait to share the news with your partner Or maybe youre hesitant as youre not sure youre ready to be a mom.
No matter how you feel, you are certain of one thing: That positive pregnancy test equals a baby that you will one day have in your arms!
2. Due dates
Just like a positive test used to mean a baby, due dates used to mean you knew when that baby would be in your arms.
Then, you had an empty due date. Or you passed your due date after having a baby you couldnt keep.
Suddenly, you cant put a lot of stock in your due dates. In fact, you might not even want to know yours at least not yet. There were times I held off finding out my due date. If it was going to be an empty due date, I didnt know what it was.
As your due date approaches, you may feel excited. But most parents after loss often feel anxious. They are ready to get their due date over, so they can just know if they get to keep this baby or if theyll be walking the road of loss yet again.
3. Appointments
In a previous (easy) pregnancy, you just sort of soared through appointments. You figured your doctor would share with you all the information you needed to know.
After the loss of a pregnancy (and by default, a loss of control), your interactions with your doctor might change significantly.
