Did anyone else feel like this after their 1st LO?

[littlemiss83]

When I had my baby girl, I was young, only 19 & even tho me & OH had been TTC we'd only been together a year, and I was a bit of a party animal, so I was all out to prove I could manage. When she was born, I wanted to be different, a unique mum that wasn't "standard mummy" I wanted to be a cool/hippy/unique mummy. I was determined to BF even though ppl actually told me not to (I had breast cancer when younger). Was determined that i'd do everything 100% right & I even bought things I knew I wouldn't use or get moneys worth out of.

As time went on, this was ok, but when LO started nursery, I let everything slip, I realised that every mummy wants to be a unique mummy. Every mummy thinks what they are doing is different & better than standard mummies. No matter how fancy my buggy was or nicely dressed the baby, or me, I still got dirty looks in the street for being young As the years went on, I just went with the flow, now with Kayden, I really couldn't care less to be unique. I know I look the same as every other mummy & tbh, i'm happy with that, does anyone else feel like this? That its "ok" to be a standard mummy. Dont get me wrong I still get dressed up & LO gets dressed up, but I cant be arsed with the whole showing off thing anymore. My mind is focused on saving money so I only buy the essential things now, I suppose after you've wasted alot of money you realise its not worth it, having financial back up is better.

xxxxxxx

 

[wifeywifey]

I mean this in the nicest way but sounds to me like you have realised your priorities and matured. Sounds like a good thing to me hun.

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[littlemiss83]

I think thats true, just duno why I felt that way in the first place if that makes sense, maybe its just me, I always feel the need to be unique even b4 I had LO's.

xxxxxxx

 

[beckyboo1]

I think I know what you mean although Harry is my first.

I think part of my feeling that I'm not bothered what people think is to do with my age. Being a bit older (32 next month!) I think makes you realise that as long as you and your family are happy it doesn't matter

I think a few years ago I may of cared more what pram I had or how baby was dressed. It now I'm content the way we are

If you're happy with your life what other people think tends not to matter so much

 

[Nic36]

The only thing that bothers me is that I am trying to be the best mummy I can be for my little girl. She is my top priority. So long as the pram is good and comfortable for her, the clothes are comfortable and fit her well, she is fed and is warm, then that is all I can hope for.
I have never been one to try and make a statement over my clothes or possessions, and having my LO has not changed me. Maybe that's because I am an older mummy (37) - I don't know. I am who I am and don't feel I need to prove myself.

 

[BabyNumber1]

I kind of felt like this...

I was 22 when i fell pregnant (23 now) and i was very career focused, wanted to be the top of everything i did and i had it in my mind that i would be the same with my baby...

When i was on maternity, id do my best to always look nice, hair and make up done, make sure my LG was in the nicest clothes... and i got a lot of satisfaction out of people stopping me and saying how cute she was... making it look like i could cope no matter what people said!

Now ive realised that actually, it doesnt matter how many people stop us, me and my OH know how special and gorgeous our LG is... we dont need to dress up and get other peoples approval - i still get looked at when i go out on my own with the pram by older people.. and i can see exactly what they are thinking... a young single parent!!

It sounds like youve realised the same (although slightly different circumstances) and where im still focused on my career now ive gone back to work but my priorities have changed... yes i want to get to the top of the career ladder, but instead of it being to keep me in nice clothes and a nice car.. its to keep my daughter in nice clothes and have all the toys she could possibly want!

Just remember, we dont need to prove to anyone that we can be good mums just because we are young!

Sorry for the rant

 

[lewisca]

I am so much more relaxed this time with Rhea with my first I was the same as little miss although I was 27 and had pnd so wanted to hide it from the world and show I was supermum !! Was more relaxed with my second but still had a little bit of supermum tendencies !!! Now am different things get done when I can do them I too save money where I can my babies are also clean and presentable but not exclusively dressed in next !!! I still get called supermum but I don't strive to do it xxx

 

[BevG]

sadly noone is really unique, someone has always been there and done that before us lol. thats why its a bit immature to think that way, all teenagers seem to think theyre different than anyone whos come before them. as we grow we realise that other ppl have done the same, felt the same or experienced similar things and we take solace in the companionship it gives to know your not the only one lol. glad your more chilled about it now hun and have figured out whats really important to you

 

[Verity2011]

I know what you mean little miss. I think before I had a baby, I thought I could be super mum - get everything done, look after the baby and still have loads of time for myself. I couldn't even do that in pregnancy so soon realised it wasn't happening during motherhood! Like you, I just go with the flow and have realised other women's experiences are to be learnt from and are a great support for me! If anything I pick up more and more tips from all the other wonderful mummies out there! X

 

[littlemiss83]

yeah i definately think it has to do with maturity. I am kicking myself for giving myself a hard time with 1st Lo. This time I am trying to relax & enjoy having LO rather than worrying if he has the best of everything, what other ppl think ect.

xxx

 

[BabyNumber1]

I think a lot of people try and do things 'by the book' with their first... tyr and make out like its so easy for them and stuff but in reality no matter if its a first child or a tenth child its never going to be easy to be a parent... its just a shame that society these days makes us feel like we have to put on a front so people dont think we were bad parents!

No one can do more than their best!

 

[Sarah13]

I think like the others have said it's more a maturity thing, even without a baby as a teen or very early 20s image means a lot but once your older you know it's more about what's inside. I'm quite a strong minded person and so do as I please which was a much stronger trait in my teens! I thought I could do it all etc with my first (i was 21) but I think I missed out on loads because of my career, it's becoming more obvious to me with Kynon and I feel so guilty about it now when I look back at what I missed. I never really cared about looks though, infact I cringe at photos of me back then, I really let myself go!