Coming to a decision

[laracomps]

The past 3 weeks have been the hardest 3 of my life I think. I never thought breastfeeding would be so hard, when it is supposed to be so natural.

It has gotten to the point where I am so tired, emotional and stressed out all the time that I cannot keep going the way I am - b'feeding, then expressing, and topping her up.

I have tried so hard to get my supply up - expressing after every feed, fenugreek (which gave me chronic diarrhea, and made me stink of curry!), oats etc. But to be honest, I don't feel anything has worked, or even really improved the situation. I never feel full, and if on the odd occasion I miss a bf, I still don't feel full, or the 'need' to express.

Phoebe is never satisfied after feeding from me, no matter how hard I try, nor how long, even if I felt she has fed really well, or constantly all day. Though having said that, she has started to take less formula, but that may also be as she is feeding less, but more often.

I think I have come to a decision. I want to enjoy these first few months, rather than feeling stressed and crying all the time.

I stopped expressing after every feed yesterday, as I am so exhausted I feel it is making me unwell and miserable - that can't be good for her either. I don't think I am ever going to produce enough milk for her to solely feed from me.

So, my new plan of action is to b'feed (even just for half hour, for my comfort as much as hers) and top up for as long as I can, cut out the constant expressing and give in to the fact that she does need formula every feed. I realise this may be the beginning of a slippery slope to giving up b'feeding if my milk goes completely, but even after a day of doing this, I feel like I am obsessing about it less, and feel a lot happier. If my milk eventually goes, at least it will have been a gradual process - I think that would be easier to deal with.

I have just b'fed her now, and felt so much more relaxed, and she appears to be asleep without a top up (first time in 2 weeks!) - who knows, maybe if I stop obsessing and stressing over it, things may improve on their own.

I hope I have made the right decision - but I figure even if I only b'feed her a few times a day this is better than none at all. (Does anyone know how much they need to get benefits from the milk?)

Thanks to all who gave me support last week when I was so down. I wish things could have worked out better and I had realised we were having severe problems in the first week - perhaps it would have been easier to fix then.

 

[KJL]

Firstly, you have done great getting this far so well done Unfortunately the first few wks of BF are incredibly hard and demanding and it is a case of supply and demand so the more you BF the better your supply will get. You need to make sure you are eating and hydrating yourself too. I BF for 6 wks and then stopped as I really never seemed to build up enough supply. I know that they say that every woman should have enough but TBH I stuck to it for 6 wks, feeding on demand every hour or so and Layla was never satisfied, losing weight and unhappy. Eventually I was advised to top her up with formula to try and help her put on weight. Eventually I moved to exclusively to formula as I just had no supply and she was still not putting on weight. I was really upset to have to stop but as soon as I moved to formula she started putting on weight, sleeping more and generally was a happier baby. I am pleased that I managed 6 wks as at least she got some of the nutritional values of my milk and some antibodies.

I would say that you need to do what's right for you. If you want to BF then it is still early days and it can take a good few wks for your supply to totally kick in. You need to keep feeding on demand. I could never express and I think you are better of BFing than expressing as LO is much better at getting out your milk than a pump. Make sure you are eating loads and drinking tonnes of water.

Whatever you decide you have done great to get this far

 

[Rosieroo]

Topping up with expressed milk is always going to be difficult as a pump wont get the milk out as good as your baby. I commend you for coming to a decision that you're happy with, but there might not be any need for formula. If you're breastfeeding and topping with formula you've still got all the faff of making up milk, sterilising etc.
In the early weeks it does seem like your baby isn't satisfied but you need to have more faith in yourself and your supply. I was in the same boat as you when I had my first DD and I topped her up on a handful of occasions due to bad advice from my health visitor. Because of this it took a lot longer than it should for my supply to settle to her demand and for me to feel confident with breastfeeding her (10 weeks).
Domperidone is really good for boosting supply, you can see results within a few days and is available on prescription from your GP. If you've had a traumatic birth experience then that can hamper your milk supply.

You sound very down and stressed out and I do believe that the pressure you're putting on yourself to try and express isn't helping. I did the same with DD when I had mastitis when she was a couple of weeks old and it was really hard work.

Sometimes I was so stressed I could feel the tension in my neck and shoulders when I was breastfeeding her, which I'm sure didn't help us either. Once I started relaxing and stopped worrying about not having enough milk things improved.

Breastfeeding is hard work and confusing when you're expecting that a baby feeds every 4 hours and is perfectly content in between (like I was!).
You're doing a great job, well done for getting this far

 

[heles7]

i dont want to read and run, especially as ive had a tough time with breast feeding although things in the last week have been a zillion times better than the first week in hospital.

Huge hugs to you and I hope the breast feeds you do have yet to come are much happier ones for you both

 

[Squiglet]

happy mummy = happy baby... Do what makes you both happy and healthy...

Bfing is like having a limpet permanently attached to your boob... and its really tiring and hard..

 

[muppetmummy]

I'm glad you're feeling happier now, breastfeeding is hard. You've done brilliantly to have lasted 3 weeks

 

[Suzie and Faith]

I have been told that breastfeeding even just for a day or two is very beneficial and better than not at all so you have definitely done good.

But even saying that if you're not happy and comfortable then don't do it! Lots of babies are brought up on formula and they are all happy and healthy!

It's important you enjoy your LO so do whatever feels best for you sweetie xxxxxx

 

[Redshoes]