Can't do it anymore *UPDATE* I'm not giving up!!!

[poochielove]

Thought i would update on the situation as if it wasn't for you girls i would have gone to the shops first thing and bought formula for sure. Seriously thankyou SO MUCH for all your help and advice
So heres what happened...woke up around 9.30am after LO had been feeding at intervals of every 3 hours so i had more sleep aroun 6 hours in total and felt much better. Infact the first thing i did was come on here to read more words of encouragement.
He seems to be feeding now every 3 hours but for muuch longer, so maybe his constant feeding was a way of building my supply so he can feed for longer? Wouldnt put it past him, these babies cetainly know what they are doing! Also he hasnt been fussing! Wooo!
We went for a photo shoot with him today and he was as good as gold and smiling all the way through it was nice to get out and not sit there waiting for him to start screaming again and just generally feeling like a milk machine.
For the dummy suggestion i have been pretty much using a dummy since day one which has been a life saver in getting him to sleep. Also the suggestion of undressing him to wake him up if he falls asleep on the boob i will most definatly be doing as that is half his problem.
So the plan is to do a formula top up on his 11/12am feed and carring on with the BFing. If i get anymore problems over the weekend i will book a docs appointment incase of any underlying problems.
Once again THANKYOU for your help and support

*********************************************************************
I feel bad saying this as i know theres people on here who desperatly wanted to BF and can't for one reason or another, but i am pretty sure i am going to call it a day. Maybe in the cold light of day in the morning i might feel differently but i really doubt it. Hes almost 6 weeks and although i have read about getting over this 6 week hurdle, i am seeing no signs of things improving only get harder and harder.
I have gone from a baby who feeds every 3/4 hours to every 2 hours to every one hour and now just constant. I bathed him and fed him making sure he had a really long feed and put him down where he fell fast off. 15 minutes later he was screaming and rooting for more so i fed him and he fell asleep, 15 minutes later...and so on. I am too drained now and way too tired. I have been expressing so OH can help with feeds but its taking me forever to get 4oz off and for him to only want feeding a little while later it hardly seems worth it. My nipples are sore and i just cant stop crying cos i need zzzz's.
I feel so proud of how well he is doing and thriving from the BFing that i feel sick with guilt to give it up but he needs a mum who can function, surely?
I just feel so fed up.

 

[beanie]

hugs hun, I had the same thing with Seren - and she didn't improve at the magic 6 week stage either. She fed constantly and the only way I survived it was by co-sleeping.Is this something you have thought about/are doing?

 

[poochielove]

hugs hun, I had the same thing with Seren - and she didn't improve at the magic 6 week stage either. She fed constantly and the only way I survived it was by co-sleeping.Is this something you have thought about/are doing?

When did she begin to stretch her feeds out?

I really dont want to co-sleep i just dont think its for me really.

I think i may just have to admit defeat on this

 

[kiwiswife]

Hi there I am wondering if you have spoken to a health professional about the situation. Just that if the baby has a problem, you may find the situation will not improve giving your baby formula. Besides screaming and rooting for milk how is he acting? Does he arch his back? The resoon I am mentioning this is because you mention the 15 mins doze scream thing my daughter did this- and it was bescause she had acid refulx and her symptoms improved when she had medication and upright sleeping position etc.
If you decide to give your babe formula, do be aware that this may add another few difficult nights as his tummy gats used to it. Sleep deprevision, is truely torture but I promise you things will get better.
For me co-sleeping was quite scarey I would wake up thinking the kids were under the blankets, so what I ended up doing was puting the baby in a grow-bag with their head and chest above my head so I was less scared about squashing/ blanketing the babe, this really helped with the zzzzz's and bondind too I think.
I dont think breastfeeding is about winning or defeat hun. Tonnes of hugs.
Love m

 

[poochielove]

Hi there I am wondering if you have spoken to a health professional about the situation. Just that if the baby has a problem, you may find the situation will not improve giving your baby formula. Besides screaming and rooting for milk how is he acting? Does he arch his back? The resoon I am mentioning this is because you mention the 15 mins doze scream thing my daughter did this- and it was bescause she had acid refulx and her symptoms improved when she had medication and upright sleeping position etc.
If you decide to give your babe formula, do be aware that this may add another few difficult nights as his tummy gats used to it. Sleep deprevision, is truely torture but I promise you things will get better.
For me co-sleeping was quite scarey I would wake up thinking the kids were under the blankets, so what I ended up doing was puting the baby in a grow-bag with their head and chest above my head so I was less scared about squashing/ blanketing the babe, this really helped with the zzzzz's and bondind too I think.
I dont think breastfeeding is about winning or defeat hun. Tonnes of hugs.
Love m

I saw the HV yesturday and she said that he was just having a growth spurt thats her answer to everything when i asked her what to do for the best. He has been having a growth spurt for the last 3 weeks lol! Well i maaged to finally get him down at 12.30am and he had a feed at 2.17am then has only just wanted another feed now! not that iv slept as hes been grizzling since 4am. When hes rooting for milk he seems fine just impatient and hungry.
I have a feeling i may be too quick to feed him when he cries as he got to sleep with his dummy earlier after coming off the boob and refusing anymore. I would normally have thought that he wanted feeding again but it seemed he didnt and then managed to go 3 hours in between.
I really dont like this feed on demand as hes really greedy and 9 times out of 10 he will take the boob when offered and i dont think he really needs it.

 

[ninjawomble]

Oh hun, Ive no advice as Im a formula mum, but if you do decide to call it a day, give yourself a HUGE pat on the back for making it this long, and to giving Teddy a great start! You have done extrememly well, as I know how fussy he is, and dont beat yourself up about it
Have you thought about combining formula and bfing to begin with? So he is getting booby goodness, but you also get a break?

 

[nori]

I feel bad saying this as i know theres people on here who desperatly wanted to BF and can't for one reason or another, but i am pretty sure i am going to call it a day.

Oh hunny dont feel bad cos of that. I COULD breastfeed but got to the stage where i felt it was too much and i couldnt cos i was in such a mess. If you feel stopping is the right decision for you then do it. You have given your LO 6 weeks of it and thats brilliant in itself.

Saying that though, make sure its definately what you want as i dont want someone else feeling the guilt i do. Maybe take some of the advice you get from people ion here first, give yourself a week to see if it improves, and if not then call it a day. That way you will know you have tried everything you can (apologies if you have already done this).

I know how hard it is i really do.. you just want someone to say "thats it you mustnt breastfeed again".. so you dont have to decide yourself.

Good luck. PM me anytime,

Claire x

 

[Sherlock]

If you've made it to 6 weeks then why not introduce a dummy to help get LO off your boob once he has had a fill up? I used one from 3 weeks for Galen due to colic and being a monster feeder (some would last 2 hours, he would finally come off, only to want to start over again within an hour).

The dummy meant that when he was then starting to go really slow on the boob, I'd slip him off my nipple, pop the dummy in and he'd be happy. Helped with colic and getting him off my boob. Was a lifesaver. And meant I could carry on BF'ing. We dropped the dummy later on when colic and feeding improved.

I'd look to feeding lying down in the day perhaps? On the bed so that once the dummy is in and LO is snoozing you can get some rest also. Its a great way to catch up on sleep.

Also as has been suggested why not try a nighttime formula feed, say around 11pm if you feel you really want to change over, maybe one feed before you go to bed might help fill LO up for longer. If you go over to formula totally you'll still have to feed in the night, do extra in growth spurts and get out of bed to warm milk up etc and spend time sterilising. All those things take time. I preferred to pop LO into bed next to me, let him feed, pop the dummy in and then move back to his basket or left him snuggled up safely next to me.

I was making do with about 2-3 hours sleep in 24 for the first 6 weeks or so. Even after that it wasn't much better for a couple of months but it did improve. I was a wreck but here I am, with my son at 8 months and still breastfeeding

And honestly, I don't think you HV is telling porkies about growth spurt atm. They have a lot of them in the first 7 weeks then a bit of break till 12 weeks, then one at 4 moonths etc.

 

[Sherlock]

O and what others have said about exploring possibilities for his fussiness and feeding/faffing. There be be an underlying cause thats worth at least looking in to to see if trying adding Infacol or Gaviscon (depending on possible colic or reflux etc) to help things improve.

I'd at least investigate options before giving up totally. You'd at least know you had done all you could. Some Mums have lots of guilt and so on in stopping with BF'ing, so its worth at least exploring in case.

There may be a simple solution and given a few days things may improve for you both.

 

[Naterjack]

Aw hun dont feel bad - you have to do what you feel best for your LO
I would suggest trying a dummy and final evening feed of formula also - we use a dummy with Josh (who is a lot younger than your LO and many would say i'm mad for doing it) and it seems to keep him occupied between feeds, which are every 3 hours approx.

Let us know what you decide and how you get on

 

[Sherlock]

I have a feeling i may be too quick to feed him when he cries as he got to sleep with his dummy earlier after coming off the boob and refusing anymore. I would normally have thought that he wanted feeding again but it seemed he didnt and then managed to go 3 hours in between.
I really dont like this feed on demand as hes really greedy and 9 times out of 10 he will take the boob when offered and i dont think he really needs it.

Being so young he only has a tiny tummy (not much bigger than a walnut so will naturally need to feed little and often. Breastmilk is quicker to digest than formula hence BF babies seeming to feed more than formula fed babies. Formula is thicker and heavier so takes a bit longer to digest.

Feeding on demand is normal and I'd do this with a breastfed or formula fed baby in the early weeks. They grow so much in the first few months its just instinct having them feed like they do in the early weeks to help get your supply up and going to settle around 6 weeks into a steady amount. They *need* to feed, the growth rate when so small is big and demand feeding means LO gets milk as and when they need it.

My LO would feed very 90 minutes on average in the early weeks. Even after intorducing the dummy he would still be hungry, but it would mean he'd not spend 2 hours on one feed, but maybe 45-60 minutes instead.

I honestly think if you have a good supply that breastfeeding is fall less hassle than formula. If you feel after trying different solutions its not working then change if you feel its right for you both.

It does take time to realise that the crying maybe isn't for food, but just to be held, comforted, rocked gently, smell you. A whole heap of things. I'd try a few days with a dummy and see how it goes. Plus remember your LO is still small and settling in the basket on his own at night and sleeping is just something he may not be ready to do at this point. Even formula feeding won't change that. It can take a while longer for babies to recognise night from day and settle better at night on their own. Consider a formula feed before you go to bed and see if that helps in a few days if the dummy does not. Its trial and error and worth giving a go

The one thing people kept telling me was sleep when LO sleeps. Be it for half and hour or 3 hours. Day or night. Get your head down. It was just I had to learn to relax about doing so and to let the housework and stuff go to hell for a while.

Maybe try vegging out on the bed during the day, have a few books, DVD's etc and just relax and feed and snooze together. Its not co sleeping but it means you are close by and your LO may settle better having you near. Also it might be good to try co sleeping at night for a few hours. I didn't co sleep on a regular basis but I did do so when I felt it was needed. LO would settle well and I'd get a couple of hours kip also. We still do this and it works well for us all

 

[millie15]

firstly I was feeling this a week ago. I know how you feel.

I'd agree whole-heartedly with Sherlock - try exhausting all the avenues before you stop bf, if you do want to continue. have you sought any support from the NCT or La Leche?

I went to a bf support group today (does your hospital or local children's centre run one?) and found it so useful. FWIW here's the advice they gave me:
1. make sure she is staying awake for a good full feed. this mye take up to 30 mins on each boob and she will probably need a small amount, at least, from the second boob. wake her up if she starts to look drowsy but hasnt fed for at least 10-15 mins, this might mean undressing her or putting her on the cold changing mat for a few seconds. make sure she is completely 'milk-drunk' before finishing the feed.
2. don't allow her to feed for more than an hour.
3. when she is full (or after an hour of feeding) don't feed her again for at least another hour, use every means possible to distract from feeding in the mean time if she is grizzly.
4. aim for her to be awake/asleep (not feeding basically) for 2-2 and1/2 hours after finishing one feed, but at least for an hour and no more than 3 hours max except at night when she could go for 5 without being woken up.

obviously niamh is only 3 weeks and teddy is a bit older so there may need to be adaptations. I've already found her to be more settled and I've only been doing it since this morning (still time for it to go tits up though...watch this space!).

if you do however decide to call it a day, you haven't let him down, I mean, you are going to keep feeding him aren't you!! and all the ff mummies on this forum are testament to happy, thriving ff babies!

 

[Squiglet]

You're doing fantastically well hun... He's 6 weeks and all that is due to you ... he's all your hard work. Really feel proud of yourself. I know your tired but it won't be forever I promise.

They do just feed like gannets for the first couple of months. Tbh I think that his fussiness is something else... and he is comfort feeding. As Sherlock says maybe try a dummy or infacol. At 6 weeks there maybe something else going on.

Also Millie15 gave some amazing advice and you will probably find a La Leche bfing group a real helper.

Don't give up until you are absolutely certain because its very difficult to go back once you've made the decision, and its not always hunger. So try the other possibilities first and if you are left with hunger being the cause, then you can look at maybe mix feeding or eventually moving fully onto formula.

It is in your hands but you also need to be fully supported when you are bfing to keep you going at times like these... All Bf'ers have been through it at some point and so we speak from the heart... and everyone will support you no matter what you eventually decide

 

[muppetmummy]

You've done amazingly well to get to 6 weeks Breastfeeding is so tiring in the first couple months. Don't feel bad if you do decide to give up but make sure it's what you really want first

 

[poochielove]

UPDATED

 

[valentine]

Yay, I am so so glad to read this! Well done you!

I think you've been given excellent advice above and I really can't add to it, but I just wanted to say you are doing brilliantly - keep up the good work!

Well done for persevering!

Valentine Xxx

 

[BabyMagic]

Keep up the good work

 

[crackers24]

Well done hun! I'm about a week ahead of you. And i nearly gave up so many times but thanks to the lovely ladies on PF i'm still going. Good luck hun

 

[poochielove]

Yay, I am so so glad to read this! Well done you!

I think you've been given excellent advice above and I really can't add to it, but I just wanted to say you are doing brilliantly - keep up the good work!

Well done for persevering!

Valentine Xxx

I agree, this site is amazing, i dont know what i would do without the advice i get sometimes! All i know is i would have given up BFing without a doubt without the help of everyone

 

[ninjawomble]

yay go Ruth! Well done hun, I knew it would sort itself no matter the outcome