Came out of Thea's one year check up in tears

[Melanie]

Its official I am a crap mother.

Today was Thea's one year check up. We went through everything and the doctor was really pleased with how well she is doing with walking and her speech etc. Then came the weighing her part

Thea weighs 17lbs 7oz That means in an entire year she has only gained 10lbs since birth (she was 7lbs 7oz)

She has never gained much between well child check ups and I've always worried about it but no one has ever said she didn't weigh enough until today. My cousins 5 month old baby weighs more than Thea does.

So no what the hell do i do? Her Paediatrician says i have to force feed her 5 full meals a day of a dinner and sweet whether she wants them or not. I breastfeed her too much apparently so its my fault she isnt eating enough food. I honestly didn't realise that she wasn't eating enough How crap does that make me.

She eats 3 full meals of a main and a dessert a day then she snacks on fruit and carrots etc during the day. How do i get her to take more? How do i cut down her breastfeeds?

I feel like shit

 

[valentine]

Hey Melanie,

I can't believe they made you feel like that - that's awful.

I don't have any advice and I hate the idea that someone has made you feel bad by breastfeeding often - surely this is conflicting info?!

I just wanted to say that from your posts here, I think you are a brilliant mum and Thea is very lucky. She looks happy and healthy and if your instinct says she's fine, then just ignore the numbers and carry on enjoying your little girl.

to you.

Valentine Xxx

 

[Hypnorm]

Ignore the HV,
The main thing is
Is she happy? is she healthy? is she progressing well?

Personally if she is eating meals and breastfeeding then i dont feel you need to worry.. you know your daughter better than they do, if they are reading the weight chart from the red book - then that is based on bottle fed babies who generally weigh more than breastfed ones.

after my one year check i never returned to have Ewan weighed again as they made me feel so bad.
Follow your instincts!

 

[Fluffy Bunny]

Its official I am a crap mother.

Thats a crap statement!!!

The HV/paediatrician are crap for making you feel crap!!

Thea seems to be a happy, healthy content 1 year old. So what she doesn't fit all the statistics on the graph/ line/ in the book or whatever they use. Thea is an individual and it seems to me thats just how you treat her. Poo to them, she'll put on weight when shes ready.

 

[rusks]

this has made me so angry melanie (the drs, not you!)

you are not a crap mother melanie don't say that. There is no way you should have been made to feel like that and for the record i think the advice you have been given is wrong and bad advice. You cannot force feed a child, they will take what they are going to take, as long as her weight hasn't dropped off or you are worried about her medically there is no issue at all here.

i have been looking at lukes centile chart and it looks like if thea is around 17lb she is on the 9th centile which is fine well within the range, it just means she is smaller than some others, no big deal.

my son is on the 9th centile and if a dr turned around and gave me advice like that i'd change my dr - what useless crap and no mother should be made to feel like you do when it is obvious she is a good and caring mother.

so listen to us mel and not them
rant over. Hope this helps

 

[mary70]

hi hun my dd was 10lb + at birth and didnt double her birthweight until she was 19 months old, you CANNOT make them eat carry on doing what u are doing and maybe give her some more snacks, i will be honest i give hannah calorie loaded snacks eg choc mouse and sweets.

 

[budge]

Its official I am a crap mother.

Today was Thea's one year check up. We went through everything and the doctor was really pleased with how well she is doing with walking and her speech etc. Then came the weighing her part

Thea weighs 17lbs 7oz That means in an entire year she has only gained 10lbs since birth (she was 7lbs 7oz)

She has never gained much between well child check ups and I've always worried about it but no one has ever said she didn't weigh enough until today. My cousins 5 month old baby weighs more than Thea does.

So no what the hell do i do? Her Paediatrician says i have to force feed her 5 full meals a day of a dinner and sweet whether she wants them or not. I breastfeed her too much apparently so its my fault she isnt eating enough food. I honestly didn't realise that she wasn't eating enough How crap does that make me.

She eats 3 full meals of a main and a dessert a day then she snacks on fruit and carrots etc during the day. How do i get her to take more? How do i cut down her breastfeeds?

I feel like sh*t

melanie don't worry.

my third baby bethany wieighed 8!B at birth and she only weighed 18 Ib at 1 year old too.

my 9 puonder only weighed 22 puond at one year.

If shes fit and healthy and alert shesw ok.

 

[beanie]

If there was any chance Thea was not getting enough nutritionally she sure as hell would not be walking round, being as alert etc. From what you have said she is getting the perfect balace between meals and breastmilk, I see no reason whatsoever to reduce her breastfeeding. And as for forcing food on her, when he comes up with a magic way of making toddlers eat he will be a millionaire.

Perhaps your Dr needs to realise that "shock horror" people come in all shapes and sizes. Thea is a little doll that's all, a wee perfect doll. And I would imagine no amount of forcefeeding will change that.

I have found a link about breastfeeding toddlers and eating - hope it helps.
http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/solid ... foods.html

 

[Rubys mummy]

Mel You are an amazing mummy, and Thea is a bright, advanced little angel...

My friend has a little girl who is just the same, she eats well, but is so tiny and dainty.

Dont you dare think you are a bad mummy, you are fantastic, and Thea is a very lucky little girl

 

[Redshoes]

Just wanted to send some
I think them making you feel like that is terrible, from your posts about Thea she sounds perfectly healthy and happy, how dare they tell you to force feed your baby
I really hope you're feeling much better now, and remember as others have said you know best, Thea is just fine

 

[Melanie]

Thanks girls.
I know you are all right, Thea is happy and healthy and thats what matters. Im glad i have people like you i can talk to, sometimes being over here is hard, when days like this happen i just want to run home to England!

 

[Misslarue]

First of Mel

I want to say that I really respect you as a mama. You breastfeed, reusable nappies, sling wearing, baby led weaning. Huge kudos to you hun

Thea is a happy and healthy little girl. You would know if something was wrong. Dan has always been under the average weight and on many occasions I have been scared by my HV. But to look at him, he's a chubby lil bugger! Sod em! Three meals a day, finger foods and the breast! You know what you are doing

 

[Gemma & Jake]

Well Jake isn't much different to Thea. Jake was 7lb 2oz at birth and he is now over 11 months old and only weighs 18lb 6oz. I was told by my HV though that one of the best foods to give if you want your child to gain weight is avocado. If Thea doesn't like it you can mix it with banana or most other things. I'm not worried about Jake though because I know he eats well and I think he is just meant to be a small build like his Daddy. I personally wouldn't listen to them if you think Thea is ok. You are sooo not a crap Mum by the way

 

[trixipaws]

dont worry about her weight! my girl friends daughter is 18 months old and only weighs about 20 pounds. but shes the picture of health. if thea was undernourished she would not thrive. dont feel bad hun

 

[Hypnorm]

I wouldnt worry my 2 year old weighs more than my friends 4 year old.
Every one is different and she will put on weight as and when!

No baby/child is text book!

 

[Lou]

Don't feel bad. HV get off on making mums feel crappy! Isaac's weight has gone down since he started walking, its obvious once they get more active they burn more calories. There is a little girl at playgroup a few weeks younger than Isaac and she is really really tiny but she talks miles better than Isaac, can drink from a cup and is already potty trained! They all grow and develope at different rates and like others have said if she is thriving then don't worry.

Lou

 

[rach]

thats awful dont let them make you feel bad hun and def dont let them put you off bfeeding as long as your child is happy and healthy carry on the way you are from her pics she looks healthy enough to me shes adorable and as for force feeding tell them to go poke it you will end up pulling your hair out your daughter will be unhappy and will probably eat less rather than more all you would be doing is turning meal times into an endless battle
xxxxxxxxx

 

[mummykay]

what a load of cobblers Melanie, carry on doin what your doin with Thea cos as far as I can see she is one of the healthiest and cutest babes I know

Dont let them get u down, ur doin fine

 

[ecomum]

Hi Mel,
my daughter is 2 and is about the same size as your *average* 1 year old. she is between the second and nineth centile, and has always been small. we had her 2 year check up in august, and our hv commented on her weight.
I think the problem is that they are so used to seeing huge babies, that they panic when they see a smaller child!
i too bf, and our doctor surgery was using the height weight chart that was based on ff children. bf babies *tend* to gain less weight than ff one, so it can seem as if your child is not putting on as much weight as they should.

however, if your little 'un is happy, eats well, and is developing well, i wouldnt worry at all hun

 

[lauramumof2]

OMG , thats awful. How can they suggest you force feed. You cant do that to baby, not that you would anyway.

If she were ill she would be lying down, listless and really pale but after seing her birthday piccis she is none of these things.

Are people in budapest, kinda large and round?