Anyone else extremely anxious?

[Rainbow1234]

I’ve basically convinced myself this isn’t going to work out ive had 2 miscarriages before and CANNOT stop doing pregnancy tests. I’m obsessed with how dark the lines are. I think I’m
Only around 4 weeks but it’s driving me mad that they aren’t getting much darker. I feel like I’m just waiting on the bleeding to start. I dunno how I’m gonna cope with the next period of time until I bleed or know things are ok

 

[Kholl]

Rainbow, it's awful. It's just awful. My tests did not darken noticeably day-to-day those first few days, and I just had to step away. I ended up re-testing about 9-10 days after and THAT was when I got that gloriously dark line (you can see in my BFP announcement, in that section of the forum).

Like I said, having a loss changes you. It just changes you. I didn't know how I would cope, I couldn't bear the anxiety of checking for blood CONSTANTLY and analyzing symptoms, it was debilitating and it felt like it took over my life those first days/weeks. Now at 8.5 weeks I do feel a little more relaxed but I'm not totally there yet...

I would say absolutely step away from the tests and get bloodwork if you feel you need to know what the hormone levels are doing. I really, really can relate to how you're feeling and it is horrible. I am sending you my best thoughts and I hope all is well.

 

[Rainbow1234]

Yeah it’s terrible. I’m so jealous of other people who are relaxed and just enjoy their pregnancies. I just spend the whole time thinking today is the day it’s going to end.

I need to try and step away from the tests but when I get the notion to test I can’t control myself. I’ve done 4 today (I know I admit I’m going crazy!)and the bottom one has me stressed out as I got a line on one of those the other day. Faint but darker than that, I feel it looks negative! And I feel it’s not a good sign that it’s lighter x

 

[Kholl]

Given how dark the other lines are, I'd say that's a bum/faulty test. I remember Lulla Bell posted 2 tests side-by-side from the same urine and one of the lines was insanely lighter than the other, this early on you're just going to have so much variation and it's almost impossible to gauge how things are going by what your lines are doing. I know how hard these early days are, I really do!

 

[Rainbow1234]

Yeah I suppose it could be a bum test. That was done in the same pee as the frer but I figured my hcg was high enough for the frer but not for that. I need to knocked out until 12 weeks lol x

 

[Gemsy]

I'm feeling anxious as it took me so long to get pregnant this time round, I'm really worried if anything goes wrong, its going to be another 2 years before I get another chance

I'm on an economy drive though, so I can't take any more tests!! I've promised I'll take a CB next week just to see the progression to 3+....I have a scan next week, and I'm sure I'll feel a bit better then - is there any way you could have an early scan, just to set your mind at rest? x

 

[Rainbow1234]

Hi Gemsy, I understand that. Taking 2 years last time doesn’t mean it would take 2 years again, I took a year to conceive, lost that pregnancy then got pregnant with my daughter the next month so hopefully that settles that fear a bit. BUT apart from that I have my fingers and toes crossed for you that you have a happy healthy pregnancy!

I had an early scan with my daughter and it did put my mind at ease but I had a bad early scan too and it makes me scared to even think of that. I think in a weird way if it’s going to go wrong I’d rather find out myself than have someone else tell me. I have no idea what the logic of that is!

 

[MoominGirl]

I have no experience of miscarriage but as a long termer I totally relate to the anxiety in the early days. We never thought we'd get pregnant naturally so I felt like all I did was knicker check just being ready for something to go wrong. I would definitely encourage you to step away from the tests. I was never a serial tester before so that wasn't as hard for me but I still did more tests than I thought I would. We had an early scan at 8 weeks for reassurance. Waiting til 12 weeks just felt far too long to wait. I hope things get easier for you with time.

 

[Rainbow1234]

Thank you. I ageee it is just such a worrying time. It almost seems to good to be true and it makes you terrified it’ll get taken away.

I’ll probably book a reassurance scan if i start to feel a little better about it. I know that totally isn’t the point of the scan but I can’t bring myself to do it just now.

I hope you have a lovely pregnancy!

 

[Rainbow1234]

I’ve just done the other Asda test. I couldn’t sleep as it’s so hot!! Line is better but still faint. I feel slightly reassured that it’s better though x

 

[Bubbles02x]

mine where the same, then I tested around two weeks later, and I got a really strong dark line. Try your best to not obsess over it, as the days will drag. Just enjoy every moment

 

[Rainbow1234]

Thanks bubbles, I am trying! I done a first response rapid result and got a good line a few days ago and that’s reassured me a bit so I’ve not done any since. I don’t know how long I’ll last though x

 

[Rainbow1234]

In fact that must have only been yesterday! I have lots going on so it feels so much longer. Not much of an achievement then lol

 

[Kholl]

That line is beautiful!

 

[Sparky Mum]

You're not alone, Rainbow!
I'm (again) the same as you, in fact I posted earlier today saying my line should be darker.

We must stop doing this to ourselves!

I'm trying to treat this pregnancy like it's a new relationship, you can't judge a new partner by how the former partner treated you. It sounds better in my head admittedly

 

[Rainbow1234]

Thanks sparkymum! I like your thinking there! It’s just so reassuring to see a nice line but so nerve wracking when it’s not dark! I haven’t tested today, that’s an achievement for me. I’ve been obsessed lol x

 

[Sparky Mum]

I've tested twice today with cheapies

Once at midwifes request with FMU and again to show DD xD
She wanted to know how I knew and I'm all for show and tell lol.

 

[Rainbow1234]

Hahaha! Any excuse eh? Im so glad to find another serial tester lol x

 

[Sparky Mum]

Yeah there's thousands of us #noshame

Clear Blue day for me!
Need to see that 2-3 weeks

 

[Rainbow1234]

Good luck!! Let me know how you get on!! What is your due date? X