any help?- updated

[tracey 2]

Hope im posting this in the right bit but just needed some advice.

Well today one of the girls approached me today and asked for a word with me in private, so i said ok. (im her room leader). She asked if everything i said would be confidential i said yes unless someone is at risk.

Anyway spoke to her later on and she burst in to tears saying she has just found out she is pregnant well that was a shock for me i would never have thought it. She is very young and has lots of trouble at home but wants this baby even though its a shock to her.

Anyway she has confided this to me and has asked that i dont speak to management till she is 12 weeks which i can understand but i really feel she should just mention it to our boss (who will keep it quiet) because of health and safety like lifting the children and touching chemical solutions from time to time etc.

Im not sure what to do but she really doesnt want to say anything but if my boss finds out at 3 months and she knows i knew then she will come down on me saying its my responsibilty to support all my staff and i should have told her.

Its even harder because im pregnant again and only my boss knows and no one else. Sorry if iv talked nonsense but looking for advice

 

[Foxxi]

Its a difficult situation to be in!

But i think there is only one thing you can do..and thats keep it to yourself.. she did tell you in confidence after all!! If she hadnt of told you..you woulda been none the wiser! take it as a compliment that she feels like she can confide in you!

 

[Tori]

hmmm well i think obv she has to b careful - like u said lifting children etc, if she starts stoppin doing these things then people will notice neway - mayb u should tell her that althou what she has said is confidential to everyone else, ur boss should b told due to H&S - if sumthing goes wrong at work wont it b down to ur boss??

 

[Urchin]

I would keep quiet, she trusted you.

if anything go back to her and say you are worried about the health and safety aspect of it and try to persuade her to tell the boss.

 

[tracey 2]

in a way it would but because im the senior for the under 2's so id be in a lot of trouble because my boss can twist things. I would never go and tell them without talking to her first im just concerned about her, and im trying to persuade her to come with me but she is not listening

 

[Tori]

I would keep quiet, she trusted you.

if anything go back to her and say you are worried about the health and safety aspect of it and try to persuade her to tell the boss.

Thats what i ment

 

[budge]

i would keep it to myself and repsect the trust she put in me.

 

[libs]

Sorry to be the one to say it - but in law you have a duty of care towards her - once she has told you this you have to put in place the different H&S standards for her - such as new risk assessments etc. I would explain this to her and that you have no choice but to let the boss know - and give her the option of doing so instead. Otherwise if anything did happen to her and her work could have had anything to do with that she could sue as someone senior to her knew about it.

 

[tracey 2]

i know what you mean iv already filled out a quiet risk assessment because im also in charge or h&s which is even worse knowing that its my neck on the block but cant let her down though

 

[happy-chick]

Its a difficult one hun.

If it were me then Id respect your collegues confidentiallity and not tell ur boss BUT if it does become an issue with h&s then I would speak to the person again and explain that she needs to tell your boss.

Try not to worry hun, you will do the right thing. If your boss doesnt like the fact that you didnt tell her then just remind her that you have unsured that there were no h&s risks and that you were told in confidence and you wouldnt break that confidence.

Hope that helps a little.

 

[tracey 2]

thanks hun helps a bit just have to work out what im going to do

thanks to all that have replied appreciate it

 

[leckershell]

I would keep quiet, she trusted you.

if anything go back to her and say you are worried about the health and safety aspect of it and try to persuade her to tell the boss.

I agree. You could say you would go with her if it makes her feel better.

 

[foxymum]

i would keep it quiet, some women don't tell anyone till they are 12 weeks anyway, so i suppose its the same in a way.
sometimes its a burden to have a big secret eh?
a friend told me something very confidential a few months ago & i wish i never knew really

 

[jenna]

I would explain the risks to her and then say either we tell the boss or we didnt talk about it. Its fair enough keeping it a secret for her sack. But you have to look at it the other way around, could you lose your job? if you could thats a big thing to put on someone!

 

[tuck]

I agree with what Urchin says.

I would suggest that you advsie her that you will make a written note of your conversations with this girl and get her to sign them, stress that they will be placed in a confidentail sealed file and then should anything happen after her refusing a risk assessment and/or her refusal to tell your manager you have covered your responsibilitys.

 

[tracey 2]

thanks for all the messages guys and help, she was off today so didnt speak to her but will on friday because its not something that im happy with only knowing myself now as much as i want to keep it confidential, i could get in to big trouble.

I will try and get her to speak to my boss on friday

 

[tracey 2]

Hi all just needed to update, well the girl i was talking about has had a m/c now and obviously my manager found out and i had to go into the office and she told me about what had happened (i thought she had told my boss i knew) when i mentioned about her not wanting to say anything she was shocked and looked at me and just said why hadnt i told her.

I tried to explain my side now iv got a meeting with mangement next week to try and see if i should be in charge with extra responsibilty if i cant look after my colleague and apparently my hormones are causing me too much upset so im not on the ball, its just really upset me that and i only went back to work today and it all happened so quickly but the rest of the day was fab.

Sorry just had to finish updating it

 

[Freya]

seek advice it doesn's sound correct what they are saying and they need to be careful what they are saying!

 

[foxymum]

awww hun,

 

[Urchin]

I tried to explain my side now iv got a meeting with mangement next week to try and see if i should be in charge with extra responsibilty if i cant look after my colleague and apparently my hormones are causing me too much upset so im not on the ball, its just really upset me that and i only went back to work today and it all happened so quickly but the rest of the day was fab.

They are discriminating against you because you are pregnant, what have your hormones got to do with this matter??? They need to be VERY careful.
Ask for a witness in this meeting and take notes if you need to. if they repeat this "hormone" thing in the meeting, immediately ask for what they are saying to be in writing.