Am I the only guy here?

[Simon]

Seems like I’m the only bloke here, but heh, what the hell! Here’s why;

Well over a week ago (11 days to be precise) my wife Alison started loosing a substantial amount of fluid. We rushed to the local hospital to find that her waters had broken at only 29 weeks. We were obviously horrified; more so to find that the hospitals special care unit was temporarily closed! After a 7 hour NHS debacle, we were transferred to the only hospital that had special care capacity; Southmead in Bristol. Assuming that the baby’s premature arrival was imminent, the hospital administered a number of drugs, which included a Steroid to mature lungs and stomach, something to suppress contractions, and a general antibiotic. To cut a long story short, the baby stayed put and my wife was discharged from hospital on Monday the 10th of April. We’re now visiting the hospital every other day for CT Monitoring, Scans, and various other observations since (apparently) the baby could make a bid for freedom at any time! They’re hoping to get Alison to 34 weeks when they’ll induce her, but they’re fairly sure that she’ll go into labour well before then. In the meantime we’ve got the worry of infection and the knowledge that there’s very little fluid around the baby. Alison was 30 weeks yesterday (12th of April), but 34 weeks seems a lifetime away. I’m doing my best to be the supportive and positive husband, but I’m obviously as concerned & upset and she is, and my assurance that everything will be ok has limited credibility. (I’m an IT Director, so not much experience or relevance of skills in the pregnancy arena!!!)
Has anyone been through a similar scenario? Aside from making sure she doesn’t lift a finger around the house, what else I can do/say?
I’m usually a born problem solver and I'm used to being in control of situations, so this feeling of complete helplessness is somewhat of a new experience! (Welcome to the real world I hear you say!) ANY advice or comments would very welcome.

Regards,
Simon.

 

[Urchin]

Hello and welcome!
You are not the only guy here don't worry, we have a new guy who joined just the other day

YES, we do have people here that have lived through what you have experienced, I'm sure they'll be along soon

Fingers crossed for you, your wife and baby

 

[rach]

hi and welcome there are a few men on here but they dont post very often please dont let this put you off everyone on here is very friendly and very supportive
sorry you and alison are going through such a worrying time at the moment i will keep everything crossed that you will make it to 34 weeks
good luck and feel free to come on here and chat whenever you need someone to talk to xxx

 

Hi Simon, welcome to the forum!

I have a son who is 16 weeks old, but was born at 34 weeks gestation. I starting having contractions at 27 weeks and was too given the steroid injections and had frequent CT monitoring/scans, etc. I was dilating at 27 weeks and at 34 weeks my waters went and Damien made his appearence! I was transferred during labour to another hospital which had room for him on SCBU as the hospital I was booked into was full.

It is a tense and nerve wracking time not knowing exactly when the baby will make it's appearance, but EVERY DAY the pregnancy continues counts towards a better outcome and less time spent in SCBU and NICU.

Has your hospital given you a tour of the SCBU or NICU area to give you some idea of what you may be faced with if the baby shows up early? This can help prepare you for the shock. I wasn't given this option unfortunately as I was transferred, and suddenly seeing this room full of little babies terrified me. As a new parent seeing your baby in that situation can be hard to deal with, and the more you know before hand, the less helpless you will feel.

Well done for your wife getting to 30 weeks. At this point the baby is very well developed and stands an excellent chance of survival if born now. At 32 weeks the odds are even better, but like I say, every day, and even every minute at this stage, is crucial to give the baby a better chance. At 34 weeks babies hardly have any problems and cope with the new world very well. I was lucky with Damien that he was a very good weight at birth (5lb 13oz) and had no difficulties breathing (helped by the steroids). He spent just over a day in SCBU as he wouldnt take milk but after 5 days in 'Transitional Care' (like a normal maternity ward but with extra help and the babies have more regular checks) we were allowed home with frequent midwife visits.

Has the weight of the baby been established yet by a scan?

Any questions you need answering I will try my best to help. Everyone on the forum is lovely and we're all here to support you when the baby does show up. Like I say, any advice or more questions, please ask, I'm usually about

 

[tigerminxy]

Hello there. You're not the only man here, I'm one too. Sorry to hear about the stressful times you're experiencing right now but you sound like you're doing everything you can. Hope it turns out ok for you.

 

[beanie]

Hi Simon and welcome. The feeling of not controlling the situation is tough but one you will quickly get used too when little one is here lol. I hope everything is going well with you all, you are doing lots by being supportive, all we need is to know you are in our corner and are there for us. Don't under estimate how much you are helping, my OH was fab just encouraging me and telling me I was doing great. Keep us up to date with how things are going. Take care xx

 

[Simon]

Thanks all, for the replies and the support, and also good to know I’m not the only guy here! Us blokes have fragile egos and we don’t like to feel “STRANGE”!

Sami,
Sounds like you went through a very similar experience, Alison keeps ‘vividly’ recalling the less than comfortable ambulance ride from South Wales to Bristol.
Southmead did give us a tour of the SCBU, but when they suggested that we should see it, I was less than enthusiastic. Personally I couldn’t see the point. I knew what the equipment looked like; I’d seen it so many times in television documentaries. How naive could I have been! I understood immediately why they wanted us to visit the unit and I can certainly relate to your experience. It almost knocked me to the floor. Babies with translucent skin and TINY heads! Had I seen it in a film, I’d have brushed it off as a bad special effect. But that said; we proceeded to some adjacent rooms where mums sat with babies that were “normal” size. It softened the blow to know they’d all started out with special care, one at only 24 weeks! I’m relieved that our first experience of the unit was a tour, and not to visit our own baby. I can’t imagine the impact that has!

We haven’t been given an estimated weight for the baby, but we’ve been told that the growth is normal. They’ve also confirmed that the baby is breathing (or practising breathing I should say) so it all looks promising for now. It’s just the waiting game and the frightening (what could go wrong) information on the Internet that’s difficult to deal with.

Anyway, fantastic to hear that your lad is 16 weeks after all you went through. Really does help to hear a similar story. Thanks for taking the time to reply. I’ll keep visiting the forum. It’s helped already.

Must go, we have another visit to the Royal Gwent Hospital this morning. Fingers crossed!!

Take Care,
Simon.

 

[Freya]

Good luck Simon to you and Alison on everything. I will say a prayer for you (might not be your thing I know!!).
My friend works in SCUBU and she always has many positive tails of very prem babies (less than 30 weeks) doing well so keep positive. Let us know how things go.

 

[Simon]

Thanks, we'll take any help we can get. I've said a few myself in the last few weeks. Funny how you find time under these circumstances!
I'll keep posting updates. It'll keep me busy at the least!

 

[Yvonne]

Hi Simon

Welcome to the forum

This forum has hosted all problems and experiences you could ever have in pregnancy and chilbirth, so any problems you have i'm sure you'll find an answer!!

Good luck to you both