Am I horrible?

[Eveadel]

I really dont know whether Im hormonal, horrible or ungrateful.

My mum is driving me up the wall. This is her first grandchild but all she wants to speak about now is the baby, what have I bought, when am I going to buy it, etc.

She has bought so much you would not believe it, I feel that I need to get in there quick otherwise there will be nothing left for me to buy. I have been quite abrupt with her since being pregnant and sometimes I just feel like I have to bite my tongue. Somehow it feels like I do not exist anymore.

Please advise girls as I think Im going round the bend.

Nicki
Eveadel

23 + 1

 

[lmwarr]

I am in totally the same situation my mother is driving me completely mad! I had to tell her today she is becoming like my nan (she hates being compared to her). All my mum does is critise what I am doing and where i am living! Its not good for the baby climbing up stairs in the winter apparently its slippery, but she forgets the pavement are slippery as well, what am i suppose to do not go out in the winter!

Now look you have got me into a rant as well! lol.

It do actually think it is partly us being hormonal and definately partly them as its their first grand child! Hang in there! its only going to get worse when they are borne that they will really get on our nerves.

 

[Eveadel]

Oh dont that worries me that my mum will be even worse.

Im so close to my mum but she just really irritates me, I hope it passes and I will feel normal with her soon???

 

[hayley]

Your not horrible.... hormonal maybe! i find myself snaping at OH then feeling guilty ....

Your mums are just over excited and it's natural if its their first gran child.. i've heard many people say having a gran child is better than having your own!!! (in a gran parents eyes) they have more time than they had when they had their own, they tend to be finacially better off, they know more (so they think) and they have more patience... they can also give the child back at the end of the day!!!!

I'd try telling them to not buy any more stuff but to wait till the baby is born and all 3 of you can go together... nan can even push the pram! or tell your mum you'd prefer to go shopping with her (if it things you need to get before the baby arrives) make a date and go together!!!! in the mean time you can still pick things up when your out and about on your own!!!! just don't tell your mum....

x

 

[Eveadel]

Thanks Hayley.

That is a good idea about saying 'lets all go out together when she is born', not quite sure how my mum will take it as she can get quite upset easily.

I know my mum is so excited I cannot begin to explain but it seems as if it is her baby and not mine.

I will have a chat with her over the weekend

 

[lauramumof2]

i felt like that the first time. It must be a hormonal thing. I just wanted to be left alone. I think its like a nesting type thing, you must want to do your own nest. Bite your tongue because you wont feel like that once baby is here. I didnt, in fact the more folk that were here the better.[/list]

 

[Eveadel]

Thanks Laura for your advice.

I actually had a row with my mum last night. She bought a grow baby which I personally didnt like and I had also said that I was going to use blankets, well she took it personally and I ended up then getting upset for saying anything but then got annoyed that I was not able to decide what I wanted!

 

[lauramumof2]

, dont worry honey. Even the crap clothes get worn when baby is depositing out of both ends. I just smile now and reassure my self that if there is still a tag on it, it will be on ebay before the other person gets home. Now, I , am a bad person.

 

[Eveadel]

I wouldnt do that!!! No seriously that is a good idea if you dont want to upset anyones feelings but knowing my luck Id be asked where the clothes, etc were

 

[gemma2006megan]

My mum is exactly the same this is her first grandchild and my mum is proper in my face all the time with things she's bought and wants to buy. I am quite grateful that my mum has good taste in baby clothes and stuff. My mum is 44 but is very young at heart and i think its just because she's broody. I personally think maybe your mum doesn't want to see you struggling, and all the help and things your mum is offering you could work out as a bonus in the long run because it could take alot of pressure off your hands. when i found out i was pregnant i told my mum the stuff i wanted to buy as presents for my daughter, so she knew that whatever she buys not to buy what i wanted to get. e.g like baby bath. Choose yourself a special present and tell your mum that no matter what she is not to buy that item.
Never feel affraid to turn round to your mum and tell her to give you space she might feel affended to start with but once she can see that you can cope on our own she'll soon be suprised. And always remember once baby's born its you and baby not you, your mum and baby.
If ya ever need to chat extensively on this feel free to email me, maybe we could talk on phone or something and have a good old moan.

 

[Anna Marie]

Mum's can be a nightmare can't they!! And here we all are wanting to become them ourselves!!

I am nearly 37 and my mum still cannot help but interfere with things - of course she does know more about babies than I do as she had 4 of us and already has 2 grandchildren but I am a bit sick of her telling me what I need and what I should / should not buy... maybe I am a bit harsh on her cos I am very stubborn and proud but I really want to do this without any issues from parents!!!

The latest is that my MIL wants to buy us a pram / buggy so now my mum feels put out and is having a go at me about it.. no doubt the competitive thing is coming out.. I don't expect her to buy anything for us but now she feels she will have to cos OH's mum is.. I hate all this political crap!!!!!

So.. Eveadel you are not being horrible at all.. we all have our "mum" problems and bottom line is they think they are helping when they are not and we always feel guilty when we upset our mums.. but sometimes they need to be told!! xx

 

[Lindsay]

My mum and MIL are both really really excited about our baby too - it does seem as though sometimes all we talk about is baby things but I know it is just becasue they are excited about being grandparents for the first time. My mum is good really, she keeps saying to me, "If you feel like I am taking over you must tell me, as I don't want to be getting on your nerves!!" MIL is a registered childminder and so is going to look after the baby when I go back to work, my mum has said, "I bet baby will love grandma more than me" which is a really difficult one to answer. I have had things bought / made for the baby which I personally don't like, but just think well it can wear it once when we go round to their house and then that's the job done!! When I have shown mum clothes that I like for baby, she has screwed her face up and said that she doesn't like them, I have bit my tongue but on Sunday I said "well I can see you not liking many clothes that I choose to dress my baby in" I don't want to upset them now too much before the baby is born as I know that I will appreciate all the support afterwards - then again remind me of this when I am back on moaning that they are takling over!!!!!

Xxx

 

[Eveadel]

Phew Im glad that Im not the only one.

Anne Marie, yes it can get very political and Lindsay I understand completely.