am i being unreasonable? UPDATED!!

[JoAnn&Aimee]

UPDATE: I spoke to my mum about the situation as it was starting to upset me this afternoon. She phoned me back 15 minutes later explaining that she had spoken to my dad about it. My dad's advice was to stick to my guns and fight for what I want, which is weird to hear from my dad as he is always looking for peaceful solutions. My parents have said that I need to be happy with the cot as it isn't fair to be landed with a cot that I don't like or want. My parents think his dad is the one being unreasonable about it not me and they said that if his dad still won't listen then we've to tell him to forget the cot and that my brother will get us it instead. I discussed this again with my OH who agreed to phone his dad but unfortunately he was working so he spoke to his mum instead. His mum is going to have another word with him about the Humphreys Corner cot and hopefully his dad will listen but I doubt it as his dad is very strong minded and extremely pigheaded when it comes to these types of things.

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My OH and I got into a massive argument last night. My parents are buying us the pram and my brother was buying us the cot. When his parents heard that my parents were buying the pram his dad went on the offensive and said 'well we are buying you a cot then!' I tried to tell my OH to tell his dad that my brother is getting the cot but he never did. I don't get along with his parents at all so I can't say anything about it.
For months I've had my heart set on the Humphreys Corner cotbed from Mothercare, my brother even saw it and agreed that was the one he'd get us but now that OH's dad is getting it he told my OH on the phone last night that it is 'fancy and expensive' and that I've to be 'grateful' he is getting us the cot!! I suggested that we go halfers with it but his dad scoffed and said 'you can't afford it!'.
After my OH got off the phone we started arguing about it and he says I am being unreasonable by wanting this cot despite the fact he loved it as well! I feel so frustrated because my brother was suppose to be getting us it and now his dad has took over and the decision about which cot we get has been taken away from us.
I am not being ungrateful that he is buying a cot but I know he is only doing it because my parents are getting the pram. These are important items for my baby and I want a say in it! My parents understand this, as does my brother, but his family just doesn't see that. They see me being ungrateful!! It is just getting me so down.

 

[sarah2807]

Aww-poor you hun.

I don't think you are being unresonable-you obviously had your heart set on the cot and the whole situation sorted before they took over.

I can see how it's a tricky one tho cos you don't want to appear ungratful.

Could your OH maybe offer to go halves again..that sounds like a good idea to me.

or tell them that your brother has bought the cot and you didn't realise but you would appreciaite....??? (something else???)

Hope you get it sorted...if not ...don't worry too much...it's all the other stuff that make a nursery even more georgeous like cute bedding, pictures, toys etc.xxx

 

[xJodieLoux]

You're not being un-reasonable at all. It is your in laws being un reasonable. You must be so frustrated. Isnt there something else you could suggest they buy?

 

[Sandi4Paul]

you're not being unreasonable, you are the one who will use it (well OK the baby will but you know what i mean) and you will have to work around it in the nursery.

It sound slike they are just buying it to keep up with your parents, if you don't mention it again they may not get you a cot at all and you can get the one you want (fingers crossed).

Then again we have been given stuff by my OH's sister but she says (and we have) that if what she gives us doesn't suit then to fell free to buy what we want so amybe you can do that with the cot? Will they see it a lot or not?

Sandi

 

[Tillytots]

Aww hun, you have what YOU want for baby! Id tell a little fib and say for your inlaws not to get it as your bro has ordered it already

 

[Sherlock]

Nope not unreasonable at all. A cot is a big thing to purchase and you want to get the right one for you, mattress and all. No point having something you don't like or didn't want. Nothing worse than having to see something you didn't want or like in your house every day for the next few years.

I'd stick to your guns and let your brother go ahead and buy the cot sharpish and inform your inlaws its a done deal. And maybe the in laws give you the money so you can go and buy the mattress of your choice for it? Or vice versa. I'm sure your brother would not mind to spend his pennies on a decent mattress if it means your in laws can afford to stump up for the cot you want. We got given a cot (never bothered me what one we had tbh) but got a new mattress and it wasn't cheap.

If they want to contribute its great, but my viewpoint is on the bigger items then it should to be what parents want, not what the person buying it thinks they should have. Taste is subjective after all. It's not like its a sleepsuit you can chuck at the back of the drawer.

There are plenty of other things they could buy also still that are on the larger side. Give them a list and ask them to pick something off of that instead. Anything from highchair to car seat, baby monitor to playpen perhaps. But be specific about what you want.

Good luck

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

Your defently not beig unresonable hunnyt he cot is an very important piece of equipment for you baby and you have your heart set on the Humphery cot then you go for it stick your guns hunny


what other big things do you stull need high chair playmats car seat???#
think ofthose and say could they get one of them instead

Dont let you Oh let you change your mind yes this his Dad but your his partner and he needs to back you up on this so he needs to talk to his Dad and make it clear in the nicest way possible that you have chosen your cot and would be grateful if they bought you a different present.

hope you get it all sorted out love
sarah

 

[fuffins1981]

what a bloody cheek! It's just rivalry with your parents...Except your family are not telling you to like what you get!

Defo stand your ground. When your set your heart on something for your bubs, and your bro has agreed to buy it, you shouldnt have to stand for something else!!

 

[Sherlock]

I'm glad you were able to talk to your parents also about this And that it seems your OH has come round and understands your feelings and is supporting them.

Good luck with it and stand your ground