After the loss of a twin
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oh hun i really feel for you 
i know a few people who have been pregnant with twins and the same has happened to them and they went on to have healthy a baby (one being one of my son's friends who is now 8) it must be such a hard time hun my heart is so with you, is there no way you can ask for an earlier scan? sending loads and loads of hugs
i know a few people who have been pregnant with twins and the same has happened to them and they went on to have healthy a baby (one being one of my son's friends who is now 8) it must be such a hard time hun my heart is so with you, is there no way you can ask for an earlier scan? sending loads and loads of hugs babyblonde
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There just aren't enough hugs in the world!
I agree with Anna - can you ask for an earlier scan (especially if you are worried abotu cramps etc) to help put your mind at rest?
I spoke to the doctor on Tuesday about the cramps and he said they would assume they are to do with the one I lost and wouldn't send me in for a scan. He basically said in the first 12 weeks there really isn't much they can do I just have to sit it out and hope for the best.
I could go for a private scan, me and hubby talked about it but then I'm not past 12 weeks until New Year's day anyway so it could be false hope. I'd rather wait until 7th Jan when I'll be 12+6 so that I could go away with a definite answer if that makes sense?
I just keep marking every day off as one day closer to an answer whichever way it goes
I could go for a private scan, me and hubby talked about it but then I'm not past 12 weeks until New Year's day anyway so it could be false hope. I'd rather wait until 7th Jan when I'll be 12+6 so that I could go away with a definite answer if that makes sense?
I just keep marking every day off as one day closer to an answer whichever way it goes
babyblonde
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Have everything crossed hoping that you get the best possible answer hun
trixipaws
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aww ellie i am so sorry for your loss
i've never been in your situation so sadly cant offer any advice but i do know exactly how youre feeling about the praying for a miracle bit. i couldnt help clinging on and refusing to accept i'd lost my baby, and like you i thought it "wasnt healthy" althou with hindsight i dont think it did me any harm. nothing wrong with praying for a miracle
hope all turns out well at the scan
i've never been in your situation so sadly cant offer any advice but i do know exactly how youre feeling about the praying for a miracle bit. i couldnt help clinging on and refusing to accept i'd lost my baby, and like you i thought it "wasnt healthy" althou with hindsight i dont think it did me any harm. nothing wrong with praying for a miracle
hope all turns out well at the scan
Sweetie, I'm so sorry this has happened.
I think the mixed emotions you are experiencing are completely understandable and I wouldn't beat yourself up over them. It must be a very hard and scary time waiting for your next scan. I just hope and
all is well with your other little one.
Take good care. Thinking of you and sending much love xxxx
I think the mixed emotions you are experiencing are completely understandable and I wouldn't beat yourself up over them. It must be a very hard and scary time waiting for your next scan. I just hope and
all is well with your other little one.Take good care. Thinking of you and sending much love xxxx
Ok here goes, iv never spoken to anyone other than my family about this so bear with me....
I found out i was pregnant with mizz i had a early scan to due to several MC in a row and i was very very scared. we were told that we were expecting twins and me an OH were over the moon that was at 9 weeks pg at 12 weeks i started beeding and promply went to my GP who understood my concern and sent me for another scan, one baby had stoped growing at 11 ish weeks but the other was doing ok, they each had there own sac and wouldnt hav been identical. I was told that there was no way they could tell how it would affect the other. I cramped/bleed for another 2 weeks then had another scan at 14weeks and she was there happy and healthy. It was all good after that. She is 11 months now. I still have the 2 pictures of them both even though 1 isnt here now. You will always think what they would have looked like together ect ect.
You will feel detached for a few weeks yet or untill you have another scan and they tell you that everything is ok and baby is growing fine. I was numb for a good few weeks and it wasnt till i hit the 24 weeks mark that i started to enjoy it and relax. TBH i read a previous post by you and it rang a few bells with me but i didnt want to say anything at the time. Please relax i know its hard and you will have 100 things running through your head at the mo. PM me any time
I found out i was pregnant with mizz i had a early scan to due to several MC in a row and i was very very scared. we were told that we were expecting twins and me an OH were over the moon that was at 9 weeks pg at 12 weeks i started beeding and promply went to my GP who understood my concern and sent me for another scan, one baby had stoped growing at 11 ish weeks but the other was doing ok, they each had there own sac and wouldnt hav been identical. I was told that there was no way they could tell how it would affect the other. I cramped/bleed for another 2 weeks then had another scan at 14weeks and she was there happy and healthy. It was all good after that. She is 11 months now. I still have the 2 pictures of them both even though 1 isnt here now. You will always think what they would have looked like together ect ect.
You will feel detached for a few weeks yet or untill you have another scan and they tell you that everything is ok and baby is growing fine. I was numb for a good few weeks and it wasnt till i hit the 24 weeks mark that i started to enjoy it and relax. TBH i read a previous post by you and it rang a few bells with me but i didnt want to say anything at the time. Please relax i know its hard and you will have 100 things running through your head at the mo. PM me any time
babyblonde
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Just wanted to say Bonny how brave of you to post about such a difficult experience in order to support another person.
People like you make PF the supportive place it is
People like you make PF the supportive place it is
hun i can't imagine how you are feeling but wanted to send you some hugs and just say im sure its normal to feel a bit lost at the moment whether there is 1 baby or 2 babies in there you are still grieving for a lost baby and the feelings you are describing seem completely normal for a grieving person.
7th jan seems so far away but you must keep going and never give up hope xx
7th jan seems so far away but you must keep going and never give up hope xx
There's not much I can say that will help you over the loss of the twin , BUT please don't worry about not feeling sick, etc. It's normal for nausea and other symptoms to subside at around 10 weeks - so it's almost certainly a coincidence of timing.
, BUT please don't worry about not feeling sick, etc. It's normal for nausea and other symptoms to subside at around 10 weeks - so it's almost certainly a coincidence of timing.Thanks everybody, the support on here has helped me so much, even just reading other people's stories has made me feel more normal.
Bonny thanks so much for posting your story. The midwife told me my feelings about my pregnancy would change back to excitement again but it would take time. Right now it doesn't feel like that but having read your story it gives me hope. I think you are right about the scan changing things. The one at 13 weeks will at least get me out of the 1st trimester if everything is well with this one.
I have another scan & consultant appointment booked at 15 weeks. Do you know what this is for at all? When they told me I was upset so I didn't really take it in.
Right now I feel like this one will always be missing something and that I won't ever be able to get past that fact but you and another member that has PM'd me have made me feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel and my feelings will change
Thanks so much
Bonny thanks so much for posting your story. The midwife told me my feelings about my pregnancy would change back to excitement again but it would take time. Right now it doesn't feel like that but having read your story it gives me hope. I think you are right about the scan changing things. The one at 13 weeks will at least get me out of the 1st trimester if everything is well with this one.
I have another scan & consultant appointment booked at 15 weeks. Do you know what this is for at all? When they told me I was upset so I didn't really take it in.
Right now I feel like this one will always be missing something and that I won't ever be able to get past that fact but you and another member that has PM'd me have made me feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel and my feelings will change
Thanks so much
dina.marie
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i hope things are ok with the other LO hun.
Ellie
I wanted to let you know I know exactly how you feel! and its normal.
I had a mc before and when I started to bleed at 6 weeks this time we thought we were losing it only to be told we were having twins!! We were so excited and at the same time knew the odds were poor ! anyway cut a long story short our happiness was short lived at 8 weeks one of the twins stopped growing. My symptoms stopped - which had been extremely severe! so much so I couldn't get out of bed! I knew something was wrong so after convincing my husband something was up we went for a private scan at 10 weeks and were told about the one twin losing its battle.
After that I found it extremely hard to even hope everything would be ok! I went through the first twenty weeks hoping praying this little one would fight on! I didn't want to hope too much and couldnt connect for a while - it was like I was in denial a bit. I felt sad for the one that was dead and then felt guilty that I felt sad as I should be happy for the one that survived and then guilty for feeling hopeful for the one that survived! it was like that for a couple of weeks I swang between hope.. sadness and guilt!! Then my husband said to me one day we have to be strong for this little one it is fighting and we have to do the same! that kind of woke me up a little bit
Thats not to say I dont think about the one that didnt make it and the hopes and dreams I had for the two of them but it has got easier - I would say that once I saw and got confirmation at the twenty week scan that all was ok I now am excited and starting to let my self get connected to the baby.
I dont think I will ever not think about it but I have to focus on this little one in tribute to the one that didnt make it. I keep thinking it was the will of nature ....gods way.... call it want you want... I dont think I could have coped with making a decision later on or make a choice over which one could make it etc so nature made its choice for whatever reason and I have to be strong for this little one. When we bring this little one home we are going to plant a tree for this one and the other one we lost in memory and celebration - i think it will help me finally try to heal. Also how spooky is this we chose a name if we had a son and settled on Tom or thomas and then we got given a book with all the names meanings and low and behold spookily it means twin!!! so in a way we think its fate!!!
Anyway if you want to pm me anytime just feel free!! I still think about the other twin and I am not sure that will ever go away but right now I am trying to focus on this little one!! I dont have all the answers as I am living through it day by day but it is getting easier
So thoughts are with you its not easy but focus on the little bean you have that needs you to be strong!
Sunny xxx
I wanted to let you know I know exactly how you feel! and its normal.
I had a mc before and when I started to bleed at 6 weeks this time we thought we were losing it only to be told we were having twins!! We were so excited and at the same time knew the odds were poor ! anyway cut a long story short our happiness was short lived at 8 weeks one of the twins stopped growing. My symptoms stopped - which had been extremely severe! so much so I couldn't get out of bed! I knew something was wrong so after convincing my husband something was up we went for a private scan at 10 weeks and were told about the one twin losing its battle.
After that I found it extremely hard to even hope everything would be ok! I went through the first twenty weeks hoping praying this little one would fight on! I didn't want to hope too much and couldnt connect for a while - it was like I was in denial a bit. I felt sad for the one that was dead and then felt guilty that I felt sad as I should be happy for the one that survived and then guilty for feeling hopeful for the one that survived! it was like that for a couple of weeks I swang between hope.. sadness and guilt!! Then my husband said to me one day we have to be strong for this little one it is fighting and we have to do the same! that kind of woke me up a little bit
Thats not to say I dont think about the one that didnt make it and the hopes and dreams I had for the two of them but it has got easier - I would say that once I saw and got confirmation at the twenty week scan that all was ok I now am excited and starting to let my self get connected to the baby.
I dont think I will ever not think about it but I have to focus on this little one in tribute to the one that didnt make it. I keep thinking it was the will of nature ....gods way.... call it want you want... I dont think I could have coped with making a decision later on or make a choice over which one could make it etc so nature made its choice for whatever reason and I have to be strong for this little one. When we bring this little one home we are going to plant a tree for this one and the other one we lost in memory and celebration - i think it will help me finally try to heal. Also how spooky is this we chose a name if we had a son and settled on Tom or thomas and then we got given a book with all the names meanings and low and behold spookily it means twin!!! so in a way we think its fate!!!
Anyway if you want to pm me anytime just feel free!! I still think about the other twin and I am not sure that will ever go away but right now I am trying to focus on this little one!! I dont have all the answers as I am living through it day by day but it is getting easier
So thoughts are with you its not easy but focus on the little bean you have that needs you to be strong!
Sunny xxx
