5 years ttc, anyone?

[maythe4thbewit]

Hi everyone,

Haven't posted on here for quite a while. Just wanted to chat with anyone really? Haha might be a little bit of a rant. Sorry in advance, its just so hard.

So wasn't sure quite where to post this, here goes,

DH and I have been ttc #1 for coming up on 5 years this month. I have PCOS, been going to the fertility clinic for about a year, had a HSG, tubes open, left one was abit hard to find though. Blood work was negative for Ovulation, HSG also showed that both ovaries were Extremely polycystic, in the consultants words. DH had his SA done at the end of may, and that was a palava thanks to rush hour traffic!�� I've lost about 8 and a half stone in about 18 months but still have about 4 to go ��, plus one had a few dodgy months with my asthma which resulted in about 6 months of oral steroids on and off which has really hindered my weight loss and I've put on about 11 pounds boo! No previous pregnancies as of yet!

Currently have a nasty chest infection and have been put back on oral steroids and I can literally feel myself swelling! ��. I'm so fed up, were waiting on the next appointment at which their going to moan at me for my weight, and its going to be even higher thanks to these dam tablets! It's hard enough to loose weight with pcos on its own although without having these flipping oral steroids. Am so fed up!

DH has started new job and so have tried not to pressure him to much to BD as he'd working really long hours atm. Lol. Haven't really tracked at all for the last few months, I've kind of half tracked this month, mainly just CM and BD occasionally. On CD31 right now and having the bloody urge to test even though I know its going to be bfn! Everyone is getting pregnant again, with like their 3 or 4th babies and I'm finding it really hard. Especially with this weight gain, and flipping chest infection. You'd think my asthma would be better after loosing 8 stone, but no. ��

Anyway, developed a chest infection, sore throat, sinitus the lot of it. On antibiotics and oral steroids atm, and am experiencing extreme bloat and tmi constipation (constipation being very rare for me) its probably due to the meds tho. I'm just looking for a chat really feeling really down ��also have really really bad heartburn, probe the steroids though.

cycles are anywhere from 12-60+ days last few have been in the middle at around 33-36 days, so af might be due soon or she might not. I took a opk for the heck of it on cd, 27, 28, 29 which were neg but did have lines, but weren't dark or anything. Really want to test, but I don't have any PG symptoms, I think we missed predicted ovulation week completely with the BD and I really don't want to look at another stark white negative, but I have the urge to poas ��

Is it to much to ask? I'm so fed up now. What do you think? Should I poas haha ��

In need of a good cheer up lol!

Thanks for reading ladies,

Including my ff chart if any of you want a nosy lol.

 

[xMillie]

Totally get how you feel
I'm on my way to 5 years, it's about 4 years and 3 months for me right now and that's not even including time with a previous partner.
It's hurts and it never gets easier does it


That sure is an amazing amount of weight loss so far though! I think if you've motivated yourself to do it before you can carry on losing again, but it's hard when you feel so down and crappy and of course those meds are not helping either. I hope your chest infection clears up soon so you can get off the nasty tablets.


Poas always makes me sad so I tend to avoid it myself, infact the only times I have was for ivf results and a few days before our wedding as needed to take period delaying pill.


Hoping things get better for you x

 

[maythe4thbewit]

Ugh yeah,its horrible. Oh I know, I have to do 30-60 mins of cardio 5-7 times a week, plus we walk our Labrador (who is crazy active) at least 4-6 mikes a day to loose weight. Which when I'm I'll like this is impossible haha! It's so annoying! So fed up!

Might poas in the morning , just to satisfy the need! �� I feel crazy, and it certainly helps to have people to talk to!

Thanks again! Good luck on your journey too! It's such a long time isn't it?

 

[xMillie]

Thanks for the luck! If our frozen embryo doesnt work out we're hopefully going to move straight onto to adopting, hubbys not totally sure but there's no other option. I can't do ivf again. Emotionally it's just too hard! I could just keep going forever and ever and just not get anywhere with it! I think I need to save myself the heartache and stop.


Exercise while being ill sure is hard work. Gotta be hard to keep up.
Not crazy at all, poas if you need too
Good luck!

 

[maythe4thbewit]

Thanks for the luck! If our frozen embryo doesnt work out we're hopefully going to move straight onto to adopting, hubbys not totally sure but there's no other option. I can't do ivf again. Emotionally it's just too hard! I could just keep going forever and ever and just not get anywhere with it! I think I need to save myself the heartache and stop.


Exercise while being ill sure is hard work. Gotta be hard to keep up.
Not crazy at all, poas if you need too
Good luck!

Oh its so hard isn't it! We've not discussed adoption at length yet, hubby isn't really keen on it though. But he was fostered as a child and he always days that's something he'd like to do so I think he would come round in time. I understand where your coming from. It's never ending isn't it? Constant heartbreak

Our fertility specialist is keen for me to loose the rest of the weight so they can try 6 rounds of clomid and then out us down on the IVF waiting list as she said the list is staggering.

It just doesn't seem fair does it? For something that should be easy and so many people have no problem with, I try to not get jealous but it hurts so much, I know its making me bitter but I just can't help it. It just doesn't seem fair that there are so many if us struggling!

Good luck and keep me updated!

Ps. Test this morning was obviously a BFN! �� lol why did I even bother? I know I haven't O'd because my boobs aren't hurting lol!

 

[xMillie]

Really didn't think it would come to adoption but I think it's the only way we will become parents. Not sure there is any other option for us!

I know it's not fair at all I won't even speak to my older brother anymore because of how he was about his children. I don't even class him as family anymore, and he sure didn't get an invite to our wedding!
He had 3 with his ex wife but has basically disowned them because he doesn't want to pay his way then he told her new partner to just adopt them because he doesn't want them. It's horrible.

So sorry about the bfn

 

[maythe4thbewit]

Really didn't think it would come to adoption but I think it's the only way we will become parents. Not sure there is any other option for us!

I know it's not fair at all I won't even speak to my older brother anymore because of how he was about his children. I don't even class him as family anymore, and he sure didn't get an invite to our wedding!
He had 3 with his ex wife but has basically disowned them because he doesn't want to pay his way then he told her new partner to just adopt them because he doesn't want them. It's horrible.

So sorry about the bfn

I was expecting it anyway! Haha! Yes, I don't understand how people can be like that? I have a family member who has basically done what you describe but with two women, he has three beautiful children and is now not involved with any of them anymore! I just don't understand it? We don't talk anymore and I don't class him as family either. How I it fair that people can just have children and then do that, when there are so many of us that are desperate? It honestly baffles me so much!

Will prob poas in a few days or so if af doesn't show up. Not expecting her to though I feel like this is going to be a long cycle already! I just wish this weight would come off as easy as it did so that we could get on with the next steps and what not! Going to try holding of testing as I'm pretty sure I haven't even o'd. Probably have the urge to again in a few days tho lol!

 

[xMillie]

It's awful isn't it

You sure you didn't miss it?

 

[maythe4thbewit]

It's awful isn't it

You sure you didn't miss it?

It is, its bloody hard!

I'm really not sure, the cycles (very rare) where I have o'd have been random cycle days like 9, 13,17,21,23 and because I didn't track this month there's no way of knowing if I have or not. I think within the last two years I've only ovulated about three times that I know of and after each I had really sore nipples untill AF, but nothing this month at all so doubt I have tbh. Just took an opk for the hell of it, there's a second line but its no where near a positive. �� just feel quite annoyed today. Its just so unfair isn't it?

 

[maythe4thbewit]

Feeling very strange today, dont feel ill at all anymore, had a huge burst of energy and rushing around cleaning and organising! So strange, feel great! Odd. Usually I'm dead tired, strange..

 

[xMillie]

Bless you
I hope you find out what's going on with your body soon


I'm doing kinda okay today, af is almost over will start opks in a few days because why not :/

 

[maythe4thbewit]

Bless you
I hope you find out what's going on with your body soon


I'm doing kinda okay today, af is almost over will start opks in a few days because why not :/

Oh yeah, I usually tell myself in not tracking anymore and then end up doing opks like a crazy women haha!

CD 33 Today, AF due tomorrow according to FF, usually get pre AF spotting 2-3 days before AF but not had any yet �� looks like its gonna be long cycle!

 

[maythe4thbewit]

CD 34, no pre AF spotting, but have had some cramps and nausea so that's probably her on the way! Wish shed hurry up. Considering giving soy a go the next cycle. Took another hpt yesterday pm, Starke white bfn ��

 

[phonixgirl]

I'm also in the same position, it's shit. Been married 8 years this year, ttc most of that time and ntnp before that! I've got polycystic ovaries but not full on PCOS. I get bleeding before AF and sometimes during ov, plus only a 24 day cycle. 3 IVF cycles (1 fresh, 2 frozen) and only one chemical of those! Never had a natural BFP.

I had a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy yesterday and they say everything's fine... they always say that about everything, it's so frustrating. DH has just about had enough. He is finding it harder to cope with than me.

I've suggested adoption but he isn't keen. I also don't know whether we'd get accepted but we could try if he wanted to. I've suggested using a surrogate including their eggs but he wasn't keen on that either. It looks like we won't be parents, sadly. Xx

 

[maythe4thbewit]

I'm also in the same position, it's shit. Been married 8 years this year, ttc most of that time and ntnp before that! I've got polycystic ovaries but not full on PCOS. I get bleeding before AF and sometimes during ov, plus only a 24 day cycle. 3 IVF cycles (1 fresh, 2 frozen) and only one chemical of those! Never had a natural BFP.

I had a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy yesterday and they say everything's fine... they always say that about everything, it's so frustrating. DH has just about had enough. He is finding it harder to cope with than me.

I've suggested adoption but he isn't keen. I also don't know whether we'd get accepted but we could try if he wanted to. I've suggested using a surrogate including their eggs but he wasn't keen on that either. It looks like we won't be parents, sadly. Xx

Sorry to hear that! Our DH's are a stubborn lot arent they? It sucks, I know, even worse when 'everythings fine'. I hate that too. Its rubbish.

im on CD40 now No sign of AF no spotting, cramps, nothing. Ive had increasingly sore nipples since CD36 (I think it was 36) So, thinking I might have O'd around then maybe before? Not sure, which is rubish as we only BD 35+36, so I dont know whats going on at the moment. Took another HTP on CD37, stark white again. May take an opk and htp now with smu, just for the sake of it. So annoying.

It;s so hard to keep going isnt it? xx

 

[phonixgirl]

It's so, so hard! I'm hoping the operation has given me a good clean out if nothing else...

Do you have to lose the rest of the weight before they will do anything at all including clomid? I was the opposite - actually underweight - and metformin helped my cycles but made me lose even more weight so I had to stop it, argh. I'm on chromium and maca now as they helped a bit. Xx

 

[maythe4thbewit]

It's so, so hard! I'm hoping the operation has given me a good clean out if nothing else...

Do you have to lose the rest of the weight before they will do anything at all including clomid? I was the opposite - actually underweight - and metformin helped my cycles but made me lose even more weight so I had to stop it, argh. I'm on chromium and maca now as they helped a bit. Xx

Yep! I asked the consultant about metaformin because my GP said he thought it would be beneficial for me and that the gyno would likely prescribe it at my first appointment. But when I asked he literally just said "no, you can loose the weight on your own", but my GP said that he thought it would help my cycles, but he refused to let me try it

Yeah, I have to be a perfect weight in my area for the clomid, its so hard after loosing 8 and a half stone already. I'm fit, active and relatively healthy. I walk at least about 6 miles a day with my Labrador (sometimes way more!) and do like 30-60 minutes of cardio at least 5 out of 7 days a week, unless im ill of course lol. so frustrating isnt it.

Ive tried Maca for a few cycles a few times and it never did anything for me , also vitex. Ive tried myo inositoll aswell, the first time I tried it i felt like it made a difference, but then I stopped and ive started it again a few months ago and I feel like its done nothing this time. I have some chromium here, but have been taken it loosely, I always forget about it. How much do you take? xx

 

[phonixgirl]

Chromium was the only thing out of the millions of supplements I've tried that actually stop my spotting! Still have 24 day cycles and didn't get pg though. It was this that gave me ewcm when I'd never had it before.

Dosage... errrmmm... I just buy a bottle and do as instructed! I bet it changes. Maca has to be extra strong and I had to take capsules - didnt notice a difference with powder. I tried vitex, just made me bleed more. Maybe I should have stuck with it as it could have been doing good long term but IDK...

Metformin could so help you. Def try myo-inositol again. At least it doesn't taste horrible like some things we are recommended! Xx

 

[maythe4thbewit]

Chromium was the only thing out of the millions of supplements I've tried that actually stop my spotting! Still have 24 day cycles and didn't get pg though. It was this that gave me ewcm when I'd never had it before.

Dosage... errrmmm... I just buy a bottle and do as instructed! I bet it changes. Maca has to be extra strong and I had to take capsules - didnt notice a difference with powder. I tried vitex, just made me bleed more. Maybe I should have stuck with it as it could have been doing good long term but IDK...

Metformin could so help you. Def try myo-inositol again. At least it doesn't taste horrible like some things we are recommended! Xx

OMG thats so weird! Vitex made me bleed more too! At one point I was bleeding for about 6 months straight, and alot of the time it was heavy! Yeah I'm trying to take the myo inositol regularly again, how many grams do you take of that, I try to take 6g a day. I used to have really bad insomnia before that, so it's definitely helped with that! I havent lost much weight sine the last appointment I had with the consultant, so maybe I'll mention it again and see what they think. I had macca capsules aswell, I think they gave me more energy but apart from that, it didnt do much for me.

 

[phonixgirl]

Well I read somewhere that if you have a certain type of PCOS, vitex won't help. B complex did help in that I had no cramps but I also bled more with that! Chromium is the only thing - and clomid (apart from when I tried it myself...). Soy didn't seem to work but maybe I wasn't taking it right.