4/5 Year old with new babies

[angelcake89]

My partner already has a daughter who is 4 (5 in Feb). We're expecting a baby in July and his ex partner is also expecting due in May (I think).

I'm just looking for some advice because she is very much spoilt for Mummy and Daddy's attention at the moment and obviously both her Mum and Dad are going to have new babies within a few months of each other. Has anyone else been in this situation?

 

[mamichuli]

I havent been in this particular situation, but my daughter was only a little older when her brother was born. In my personal experience, the best thing is to involve her with the new babies from the start, how important she is, as she is going to be a big sister and she will be able to help with the baby and how happy you are to have a "helper". It is also important to talk about how "boring" little babies can be - they just sleep eat and dirty their nappies...she needs to understand that LO wont know how to play at the beginning, but that she is so much more fun!

As long as she feels involved, you will be able to handle the jealousy - and she will be jealous! I found that talking to Jessie about the fact that she was jealous and that i understood and that it was normal and that we knew she really loved the baby even if she was jealous, helped

I hope you can follow that, i seem to think i have rambled on a bit!




Lisa

 

[clairedoran]

My daughter is the same age as your step daughter, and has been a very much doted on only child
for 4 years. She has had the undivided attention of 6 adults, me, dh, and both sets of grand parents.
She has never shown any interest in babies or dolls etc etc! HOWEVER she has taken to being a big sister like a duck to
water. We include her in everything, for example bath time, nappy time, let her hold the bottle with my help.
And then she loses interest. Although it's not exactly the same situation, we were worried how she would react, but
she's been great. We also bought her a lovely book about being a big sister, I will find out the author
for you. We also put a present in my hospital bag and when she came in to visit I told her that the baby had brought
it out with her when she was born
She is even more delighted now that Erin recognises her! Erin smiles and laughs as soon as she see's her.
Things will turn out great i'm sure. Good luck
xxx

 

[babynumbertwo]

As above reply really.
My advice would be don't assume there'll be a problem. I also have the same age gap and have had no problems at all. Not even a little bit of jealousy. We involved her in the pregnancy -giving her copies of scan pictures, helping to choose clothes for baby etc and bought her a present and card from baby. Other that we've just carried on as normal and made sure she knows she's a brilliant big sister and that we are very proud of her!
Good luck, just think positively and don't worry about something that might not even happen. Even if she is jealous it won't last forever and I'm sure she'll love having a new baby x

 

[Sephs]

My cousin had a son who was 3, and she was due to have a c/sec to give birth to her little girl a week later. We went to visit her in hospital when she'd had her daughter and her son was crying and wailing and trying to drag his mum and saying 'no, my mummy, my mummy!' and then he threw all his sweets all over the floor and got taken home with tear streaked cheeks and a snotty nose!
Now though, almost 2 years on, his little sister clobbers him over the head and he just pulls this little face and he's like 'sisters ey!'
I won't deny there was a lot of uproar about the new babba, but when baby got home, her brother took great care of her, he just wanted to be involved in everything he could