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[LuW]

I've been having a really crappy time with PMDD recently and I've been desperate for AF to arrive so we had a good chance while L is home. Now AF's here though I don't know if I'd be strong enough to cope through 19weeks without L there (well on the phone or emails yeh, but not for the grizzly stuff).

Part of mes saying wait til hes home and then he'll be there but he wont. Stupid job of his means he's still going to miss things and not be able to be there when I need or want him to be. And we can't really wait until he's out of the army because as it stand atm I'll be mid 40's before hes out now so thats a huge wait (like 26 years)

I'm just banging my head on the wall abit because I don't know if it's just the back end of my PMDD making me feel like this or whether it's how I genuinly feel.

Rant over I think... xxx