Sorry to be morbid...

[LilyMac]

Anyone know roughly how much a funeral costs?

My mom only wants to do a simple one as we arent religious at all but we have no idea how much money we will need!

Thanks in advance x

 

[Spammy]

Hi Lily. My mum had a really simple one. Just a private cremation with no service. Just us girls and my dad. (had a memorial service instead). She had the simplest of everything and it still cost over £2000. However. I recall we got help with funeral costs. Think it was from the local council. Think it was called an end of life grant or something like that. Hope that helps xxx

 

[Roo3]

When my Mum died, I think we spent about £5000 ish. We're not at all religious and Mum had said she wanted to be buried at a green burial ground about 10 miles away from my Dad's house. At a green burial ground they plant a tree instead of having a headstone on the grave and only use biodegradable coffins etc. I think the plot cost about £1000.00. It all adds up as you have to pay for the coffin etc.
We had the wake at a pub in the next village. The room hire was free but we paid for the food and my Dad insisted on having a free bar all afternoon.
I would have thought you'd be able to do it cheaper than that, we didn't really 'shop around' so to speak.
Hope that helps you. xxx

 

[Roo3]

Hi Lily. My mum had a really simple one. Just a private cremation with no service. Just us girls and my dad. (had a memorial service instead). She had the simplest of everything and it still cost over £2000. However. I recall we got help with funeral costs. Think it was from the local council. Think it was called an end of life grant or something like that. Hope that helps xxx

You do get a grant, the undertakers will take you through what help you can get. My Dad got some kind of payment too as my Mum hadn't reached retirement age when she passed away. xxx

 

[LilyMac]

Thanks girls
I had no idea funerals cost so much, its absolutely ridiculous the things you have to worry about when youre going through such a hard time, its not fair.

My neighbouir said she would hold the wake in her house/garden and her son said he'd cater and her daughter said she'd do the flowers (they're practically family).
It's just literally the actual funeral that needs sorted.
I like the idea of a tree being planted though, thats really nice, will mention it to my mom

 

[Spammy]

Think that £2000 was literally just for the time at the crematorium, the coffin and the 1 funeral car. A friend did flowers for us and we didn't have a wake just went to a restaurant for a family meal. It really is ridiculous how expensive it is. Don't forget to ask the undertakers about the help you get though. It all helps. XxX

 

[Esoames]

We have a friend who is a funeral director and he would be a good person to enquire with as he will source you local service and cut the overall costs for you. I can recommend him thoroughly as he has conducted two non religious ceremonies for my friends and both were lovely.

 

[LilyMac]

Yeah Ive just seen something about the grant, not sure if we'd get it though.
Argh its just all too much for my little brain

 

[Laura_C]

Ethan's funeral cost us about £1200 plus memorial stone is costing £1300 on top of that. He was a little baby who was only alive 2 days, I would do anything for my son but it just made everything so much harder. We didn't get any help with grants or anything as we both worked, I lost my job a few months later! The funeral directors provided the coffin an their services & a car for free because he was a baby. But the plot at the cemetery cost us £800 alone, then we paid for 3 sets of simple flowers of us and each set of grandparents. Then we put on food ourselves which cost around £250ish for most things. It all adds up unfortunately so sorry your having to go through this. Did they have any insurance or policies that would cover some costs?

 

[Spammy]

Did your Dad have any life insurance or pension schemes? Sometimes they will help with the cost of funerals. Try not to think too much about it. Try writing down all your questions and then his discuss them all when you meet with the funeral director. They are used to meeting with people who don't know what they are doing and are trained to help.

 

[Princess81]

I think carolines was about £3000 ish. We had a humanist ceremony as we aren't religious either. I think there is a bereavement grant that you can apply for to help xx

 

[Roo3]

Its so difficult to arrange a funeral, as you're mind really isn't on the task when you're arranging it.
The fact that your neighbours are going to help with the wake will help with costs of the funeral.
The burial we had for Mum was very simple. We didn't have anyone leading the ceremony. We all just stood around the grave, my Dad said a few words, then my uncles and aunts on both sides of the family did a eulogy for her. As the coffin was lowered into the ground, we played a song Mum said she wanted at her funeral. It was so simple and just what she would have wanted.
The green burial we did for Mum was perfect for her as a very keen gardener. The burial ground will be more like a wood once it's fully established. We have planted bulbs and wild flowers on her grave so there will be colour all year round. We have a bench next to her grave where Dad and I sit every saturday morning.
I know it's really really tough for you at the moment hun, but it does get easier overtime. I know I don't really know you, but I do know what you're going through so if you need to talk, you can always PM me. xxx