"You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an @rse-kicking contest" Rowan Atkinson
"Love is temporary insanity, curable by marriage" Ambrose Bierce
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life" Terry Pratchett
"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?" Steven Wright
"Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand" Benny Hill
"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder" anon
"Love is temporary insanity, curable by marriage" Ambrose Bierce
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life" Terry Pratchett
"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?" Steven Wright
"Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand" Benny Hill
"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder" anon
