So when will I stop crying....

[1588]

Baby Charlotte arrived 3 weeks early on Saturday and came as a bit of suprise... to say the least.

So am trying to breast feed her, milk came in properly today (day 6) and I finally got the technique sorted. However cos she's jaundiced she's so sleepy that she will only suckle for about 5-10 mins before she's spark out. I then have to cup feed her another Oz. This I find really stressful and it's making me cry non stop.

Anyone with any advice about BF, jaundice or crying would be gratefully received..

 

[NickyB]

Keep going with the BFing, try waking her up with a change of nappy mid-feed. Try tickling feet or her back when she's feeding. I know nothing about jandice unfortunately.

With regard to the crying, I didn't start to feel normal again until somewhere between week 3 and 4, my crying thing was when she was sick, it made me ssooo upset every time! That bit does get better.

 

[Squiglet]

My milk came in with lil miss on day 3 when they took her away from me to SCBU to put her under UV lights. I was Soooooooooo emotional...and it was a such an emotional time...

It gets better. I stopped feeling so emotional around week 6 but had my moments. I wasn't depressed or sad...Just teary... I was actually very happy when lil miss came home, but I'd just feel teary...

 

[*pud01*]

lyla was a bit jaundice HV advised me to put her in the porch, conservatory or by the window with no blinds/nets/curtains even if its a dull day she'll still get the benefit so try that in a mosses basket or pram (with the hood down).
cant really help as far as the BF'ing goes as i give Lyla formula but dont let it get you down... everything is hard with a newborn at first (wouldnt think shes only 8 weeks the way im going on) seriously though things i stressed myself over in the first few weeks i dont even bat an eyelid at these days.
I sat on the floor infront of the couch sobbing while everyones in bed cause i saw myself as a bad mum cause i couldnt BF, i didnt know why she was screaming ... the list goes on. I dont want to patronise you saying this but your hormones will settle and you find you dont get emotional after a few weeks so keep your chin up an keep trying. If you find you cant cope just speak to your HV they're there to help you.

 

[Sherlock]

Regular BF's are important. My LO became jaundiced at around 3 or 4 days old and I was told to give him feeds every 2-3 hours regardless and to not let him sleep longer than that without feeding. So I did this day and night for 4 days till his colour picked up. I was still then careful and made sure he didn't go longer than 4 hours between feeds for a little while after this. All because when he was a few days old he slept for about 5-6 hours in one stretch. Up till then his colour was fine. Once this happened he went yellow

If she is sleepy then as has been suggested try a nappy change or change of position to rouse her a bit. Its important she feeds often as possible. The more she feeds from your boob the better for her and also it will hopefully make her a little more alert. 5-10 minutes is ok for a feed, but she really needs the hind milk in her so its worth keep going if you can with her on your boob. I'd rub her cheek, tickle her chin, move her a little and pop her back on the same boob. And then try again half an hour later from the same boob if you think she needs more from there. If she isn't able to suck then try a cup again till she gets stronger. But hopefully she'll get stuck in to the boob feeding soon

Also some light is good. Although hard to find this time of year, but it can help. In natural light in a window (though not direct sunlight) or some such.

And the crying is normal. Hormones after having a baby tend to go haywire and you can find yourself crying at anything and nothing and not know why. Mine settled around 4 weeks iirc.

You sound like you are doing really well. Just remember this isn't forever and things do get better. The first 6 weeks are a real shock to the system and breastfeeding can be hard to get to grips with, but once you do it can be wonderful and your baby can get what she needs to help her from your breastmilk. As your milk only came in today I'd give the breastfeeding a good chance. Little and often for her to help get her strength up and build up your supply. As she gets stronger from it chances are she'll feed better on the boob then. And all being well her jaundice will improve also.

 

[trixipaws]

keep going with BFing, suckling is very exhausting for little newborns! if she's dozing off at the boob, stroke her cheek a bit to revive her, or even pull gently away, i used to do that when my daughter felt like she was gonna lose the nipple it encouraged her to start sucking again. and for jaundice, keep her in natural daylight as much as possible. put her moses basket right near a south facing window if u can, and expose as much skin as possible (need to keep ur house warm then!) im sorry i cant help with the crying

 

[Hazel]

I stopped crying at about 6 weeks. Everytime I looked at her I just felt so happy it made me cry . I still have a little happy cry occasionally still even now when I look at her .

 

[Redshoes]

Just keep baby near your boob as much as possible, and let her feed whenever, even if its small feeds, some babies cluster feed rather than 1 long feed Sit by the window too for the sunlight and as for the crying, all babies do it, its their only way when so small, and then even when older hehe, but she will be doing it for a reason, whether that be food, winding, nappy, hot, cold, cuddles, just try them all and she should settle, I always found with Isaac that standing outside for a minute or two would calm him, the breeze did it I think, and he was a screamer for many months, he was incubated his first week due to high jaundice levels but he was drip fed to aid the flushing of the bilirubins out his system. Talk to your HV about the crying, its very normal to cry, laugh, be in awe, all emotions, and especially seeing as LO was early too, give yourself time to adjust and your HV will have lots of options for support for you if you feel you want it. On the tickling issue, babies cannot laugh until a certain age so just a single stroke, rather than a tickle, as it can upset them. Very best wishes

 

[sparky]

oo hon really feel for you, Isla took 4 weeks to get over her jaundice because she was early too and sooooooooo sleepy, the BF was exactly how you described although i'd be lucky to get her to try for 30 seconds before she dozed off again. She seemed to wake up round about the time that she was due and things got easier from there. I ended up expressing for her for 4 weeks and then she went on formula.

We used to change the nappy at the start of the feed and strip her down to her vest or just a nappy to wake her up..DH used to tickle her feet with his beard!...all sorts to get her to wake.

Hang in there...the tears go on for weeks, its such a shock, but remember that you are doing a brilliant job under difficult circumstances. And also remember that we all go through the 'crap mum' syndrome as there will always be something that doesnt go to plan, but you have to accept that you have tried your best and move on without judging yourself

 

[Laur_250]

awww

Reggie was early and i remember that feeling of shock! It does get easier though and i know breastfeeding is hard at first but its so much easier than making up bottles so stick at it if you can. Reggie also had very bad jaundice and at a week old was sent back to hospital for phototherapy which made me so emotional as we'd finally gone home from special care then had to go back again, i cried! Once you start getting more sleep it will all seem alot easier and with the jaundice, get baby in as much natural light as you can cos thats the best way to get it down. Make sure you get some help and a rest if you can, you're doing great!! xx

 

[kerryp]

im on nearly week 4.... & still cry. my little one hasnt got jaundice but i think its coz im so knackered from bfeeding a baby with reflux & he cries so often himself. I cant wit until i dont cry when the health visitor etc asks me how things are going!!!

 

[IsaB]

Firstly, you're doing a GREAT job - BFing is hard enough without problems of trying to keep baby awake as well. Apparently it's very common for jaundiced babies to be very sleepy - keep up the regular feeds as it's what your LO needs to flush out her system.

We also struggled to wake and keep awake our LO for feeds in the early days - nappy changes are an effective way of waking the baby - don't be gentle with them either (I'm not talking throwing them around, but make it active IYKWIM) speak/sing to her at a normal or even slightly louder than normal (rather than quiet/softened) volume. I also used to put on what I called 'music to feed to' - i.e. the least relaxing music you have - heavy guitar based rock was our music of choice... Cheek stroking did nothing for us - she'd sleep right through it. I found she was a little ticklish on the back of her neck so I'd constantly stroke around there to keep her awake during feeds and stroke her hair/leg/arm to try and keep activity going (not gentle strokes, but firmer ones - kind of like patting a cat ). When none of these would work, we resorted to a cool wet flannel and wiped her face with it. Try different positions too - she used to be less likely to fall asleep during feeds when I used the rugby hold rather than the cradle hold - I think she maybe wasn't quite as comfortable. Basically, just try to make feeds as active as possible - unfortunately it's not relaxing for either of you but the goal at the moment is just to get the milk into her. I think it was around week 4 when she started being more alert and feeding became easier - so if your LO is the same - you're nearly there!

Hope some of this helps

 

[lfc_sarah]

Callum was 3 weeks early too hun, was in special care and had bad jaundice, (under uv lights).

I struggled with breastfeeding at the start and had to express in the beginning!
Callum too would suck for a very short amount of time and then stop even though was still hungry.

I just kept trying him and eventually he got it

Dont give up hun, you will get there xx

 

[KJ]

Sounds like the baby blues hun. I had them for about a week from day 5 to day 12 after the birth.

I cried non stop for no apparent reason. It was really worrying and depressing at the time but it DID pass.

Just keep going and you'll come out the other side.

Breastfeeding is also very difficult in the early weeks and you'll have many occasions where it'll make you cry, due to emotions, or sore nipples, etc. but it's the best thing once you get the hang of it.

Well done, you're doing fabulously and you'll get through this.

K.xxx

 

[cloud9]

Dylan was also under a lightbox due to jaundice..he was very sleepy like the rest . i along with the others stripping clothes off i found blowing on his face helped.
Remember you are very hormonal after the birth and breastfeeding does spark off hormone surges aswell

We set an alarm to go off every 3 hours..it does get easier i am now reading a book about trying to get him to sleep..it seems like a lifetime i seemed to spend my whole day waking him up it will for you
too

 

[BabyMagic]

Other people have already given you some great advice so I just wanted to give you these

Keep up the good work. It will all get easier, I promise. Enjoy this emotional time as well, as it's unique in it's own way

 

[avaandnevesmum]

Hello, Neve was a little jaundiced and i found it so stressful because i was the first person to notice it, whereas everyone else kept saying what lovely tanned skin she had. Midwives eventually said that it will go with age and also to really get to grips with feeding because that would also control it. I wont lie the first six weeks were so hard. She fed little and often and it felt like all i was doing was feeding! Very difficult when u hav an active two year old, a house to keep tidy, oh and a shower would be nice! Best advice, take as much help as u can, sleep when they sleep, and know the worst is nearly over. Around 8 weeks they tend to develop their own routine and the jaundice should be gone. The crying...well as soon as my milk came in i didnt feel myself at all. Very emotional, anxious and my panic attacks came back. Obviously lack of sleep doesnt help. Actually went to my doc and burst into tears saying couldnt cope, felt weird etc etc and he just stood up gave me a hug and said i was very normal, my hormones were all over the place and that it would pass. He was right and everything is lovely now. It will get better, i promise x

 

[Clydesdaleclopper]

You are doing a great job so hang in there

Q had jaundice in the hospital and I struggled to breast feed for a long time. Much of the advice I was given by my MW and HV was actually unhelpful. Lots of people here have given you great advive avout getting your baby in the light etc.

When I had all the difficulty BFing I did loads of research (spot the academic) and was quite surprised by some of the information. Studies of hunter gatherer societies where babies have constant access to boob showed that they would feed on average every 14 minutes! I think our society is so dominated by bottle feeding that we have in our heads that babies should only need to feed every 3 or 4 hours and that is not how we have evolved. Try keeping your baby in a sling and letting them feed whenever they rootle around a bit and don't worry so much about long feeds. Maybe go out for a walk with the baby in the sling so that they get some sunlight but can stay all snug and warm cuddled in to you.

 

[1588]

THank you all so much for your help and support, the crying has settled down and we seem to be cracking the BFing too although I know there's a long way to go yet.

Thanks again ur great