Please help

[Lyley]

Hi this is going to sound like an absolutely crazy post but please bear with me...

I am 10 weeks pregnant and am having really intrusive irrational thoughts that are making me have really awful thoughts.

On 2nd oct I went on holiday and got drunk one night and someone tried it on with me, I said no because my hubby is amazing, I wouldn't do that, but as times gone on I'm having thoughts of what if I did but can't remember or if he took advantage? I remember after so surely I would remembered, but as time goes on I keep creating false memories, and now I've convinced myself that the baby isn't my partners even though this 'happened' a month before my conception date as worked out by my scan date, plus I had 2 periods since, and didn't get a positive til mid November plus I didn't do anything!! I am convinced my baby is going to come out dark skinned and dream about it all the time, and then my hubby leaves me (which would kill me).

I am spending all my time looking at the calendar counting dates, and comparing my scan pics to others.

So I'm 10 weeks but if this was the case I'd be 14 weeks, but I've convinced myself the scan could be wrong.

I am a crying wreck, I can't think about anything else, I cannot get an spot with the dr for 2 weeks, I have thoughts of running away and hurting myself because of this. I have always suffered with anxiety and OCD but this is out of control. Even if it did happen which it didn't! It would still be my partners, why is my brain doing this to me 😢.

Thank you guys xx



I

 

[MissCharli]

Oh lovely this sounds really horrible, I think you need to ring your GP again on Monday and ask for an emergency appointment on the day! You don't need to go on feeling like this and I don't want anything to happen to you x

 

[Sparklegirl]

I agree, let them know you need an appointment asap even if its an emergency one. I have OCD and anxiety so I understand all too well about the intrusive thoughts. It sounds from what you have said as if you are punishing yourself for going on holiday and getting drunk. The dreams are making you feel guilty over something that you didnt do and I am wondering if they might be showing an underlying insecurity or fear of him leaving you now you are pregnant?

 

[Hoping4Rainbow]

There is no way sweetheart! I am 10weeks+ and I know so is MissCharli and the dates for all 3 of us must be SO CLOSE! My last period was 2nd November! There is no way I could have conceived a month before that and be 10 weeks! I conceived mid November of course! So did you, plus or minus ONLY a few days!!!

Hey why don't you join us on the August babies thread? It's a lovely group and we chat everyday, give/get advise and root for each other and our little beans as we go through milestones/scans/etc. It might take your mind off of this, you deserve to relax and enjoy your pregnancy and look forward to meeting your little miracle, it will all be fine my lovely, you shouldn't go through this on your own xx

 

[Lyley]

Thank you for taking the time to read and reply ladies, you are all so lovely.

I think deep down I know I'm being stupid, because there's no biological way is there even if what I know didn't happen did happen?! Plus I took a clear blue digital test in Nov which said I was 1-2 weeks but I don't know how reliable they are.

I will join thank you, I am due august 9th but I can't get excited at the moment �� And I feel awful but it's because I've got these thoughts going round in my head x

 

[Sparklegirl]

Thank you for taking the time to read and reply ladies, you are all so lovely.

I think deep down I know I'm being stupid, because there's no biological way is there even if what I know didn't happen did happen?! Plus I took a clear blue digital test in Nov which said I was 1-2 weeks but I don't know how reliable they are.

I will join thank you, I am due august 9th but I can't get excited at the moment �� And I feel awful but it's because I've got these thoughts going round in my head x

You are not being stupid, I assume the pregnancy makes everything amplified so your anxiety is going into overdrive. Do you see a counsellor at all? Having someone impartial to talk to might help you make sense of it, or at least a place to vent x

 

[M1chelle]

Ah hopefully a doctor's appointment will put you a little more at ease. It's easy to feel guilty about instances when you've been drunk, I know I have even when I know there's nothing to feel guilty about. It's a horrible feeling! I hope you can stop worrying and concentrating on the exciting time you and your partner are about to experience!