Morbid thought.......

[jsykes1975]

Some things can only be shared on this forum but this week on seeing my ticker I thought:-

"At least if I lost this little one now, I would get a birth certificate"

How gloomy is that.....

I had a natural delivery with Emma in May, I saw her little face and stroked her fingers and yet, she doesn't exist outside of my family circle. That bothers me and it's why I had her name placed in a "Remember our child" book in our city cathedral. As a written record that she was here and that she mattered.

Now, with that said, I can get on with looking forward to the countdown to my newest little one, confident of a happy ending.

Wishing you all well,

Julie xxxxx

Emma Mary 18 wk miscarriage 02.05.08 Always Missed

 

[maria1976]

 

[HannahD]

I think that's completely understandable hun. It's hard when you loose a child but no one acknowledges the loss

 

[Tracey S]

I know exactly what you mean My Heidi was born asleep at 23 +5 days if we had got to 24 weeks she would have been classed as 'stillborn' instead of 'non viable female'. Not much consolation but she would at least have had a death certificate and would have been legally acknowledged as having existed. It hurts me to think that in the eyes of the law she wasnt even worth recognising, it hurts to think that she was 'non viable' it sounds so throwaway when it really isnt. She was our daughter and we will never forget her.

I had the same thought when I was expecting George, but once we got past that time I didnt really think about it anymore. But the day we went to register George's birth was very special, we are so proud of him and love him to bits. when he is older we are going to make sure he knows all about his big sister and how she made such a huge impact on all our lives.

I am sure you will feel the same when you are holding your precious new baby in your arms

Hugs

Tracey xx

 

[jsykes1975]

Thanks girls, you're all so lovely.....

Emma is recorded on my notes as a "spontaneous abortion" as I was induced prior to delivery as she had already died. How hideous is that!

It's all so clinical to the rest of the world, just a medical term.

Julie xxx

Emma Mary 18 wk miscarriage 02.05.08 Always Missed

 

[sarah113]

 

[HannahD]

Oh my god, what hideously clinical terms they use. No wonder it's so upsetting...the medical profession can be so thoroughly disrespectful and uncaring sometimes.

 

[trixipaws]

that is really sad. hasnt one baby been born at 21 weeks and survived, or am i mistaken? i think the "viable" limit ought to be reduced. i dont know what to though, whatever the limit was there would always sadly be those babies who were born just under it and not acknowledged. i even refer to my loss as my baby, rather than the clinical two-millimetre embryo it was technically. phrases like "spontaneous abortion" and "non-viable" sound really heartless and upsetting. i cant even imagine how it must feel for you

 

[*sara*]

I felt like this when i reached 24 weeks i kept saying i have a viable baby. Its horrible that the medical proffesion can dissmis a life just because it didnt reach a certain time limit.