Ive failed as a mum

[Baileysmummy]

Well its really disheartned me today..

had bailey weighed and hes lost weight!

last week he was 5lb 8 oz on tuesday, and today hes 5lb's 2, nearly his birth weight..

i knew something wasnt right when he was feeding every hour, its because m drying up, i must be.. how can that be, im trying my hardest.. shes coming again on friday to re weigh him to see if they can do anything else to support me.. im he has gained weight by then..

im so sad.. i feel so bad.. breast is best and thats what i want to do.. but if hes not feeding and gaining weight then i simply cant carry on can i

 

[Babylicious]

Firstly you haven't failed as a mum you have three beautiful boys, Paris lost weight when being bottled fed - I hope your midwife can advise you :hug & chin up

 

[libs]

Well its really disheartned me today..

had bailey weighed and hes lost weight!

last week he was 5lb 8 oz on tuesday, and today hes 5lb's 2, nearly his birth weight..

i knew something wasnt right when he was feeding every hour, its because m drying up, i must be.. how can that be, im trying my hardest.. shes coming again on friday to re weigh him to see if they can do anything else to support me.. im he has gained weight by then..

im so sad.. i feel so bad.. breast is best and thats what i want to do.. but if hes not feeding and gaining weight then i simply cant carry on can i

happened to me too I did decide to go to bottle because I felt so crap and just wanted my baby to gain weight - but there is an option of half bottle or cup and breast - so even if your not confident enough to go all breast speak to hv about this maybe?

 

[budge]

you won't be ''drying up'' as this can not happen if you are feeding correctly and regularly.

firstly check your positioning. Is Bailey latched on correctly and sukling well?

Are you eating plenty - you have to eat more than you did when you were pregnant when feeding a new born. Particularly a small baby like bailey

Are you drinking plenty but not too much? a glass of water per feed is what i advise.

Are you too active? Are you doing too much? you should be sat down most of the day feeding. Or better still laid down feeding. That why you see nursing cows and other animlals laid down a lot.

is bailey warm enough? A lot of energy etc is used up in babies trying to keep warm. Make sure he iswell wrapped up.


REST, EAT, DRINK, NURSE REGULARLY

id you do those things then your milk will be healthy filling and in abundance.

and to add to that you're not a failure1 even if you give up now and bottle feed at least you gave it a go and gave bailey the best for a few weeks.
don't beat yourself up!!!!!

 

[angela-]

hi hun,

firstly like the others said your not a failure and you have done really well for feeding bailey upto now. its not easy to breast feed at all it takes a while to master.

like libs said you can cup feed i cup fed Niamh for the first few weeks and cheated and gave the odd bottle too i was so close to giving up but kept trying.

ring or ask the hv for the hv who specializies in breast feeding i carn't remember her name you see chick (it began with p tho ) she helped me loads, she also does breast buddies. did you breast feed your other children? hope it gets better for you hun
xxx

 

[cloud9]

You are not a failure even if you aren't producing enough milk, it will be your body not doing what you want....

You do what feels right for you and Bailey....You can try the things budge suggests, try the odd bottle to see if you can just give yourself a break and see if it settles Bailey or go onto bottle feeding ....

You can also contact the NCT have breast advisers and i know our hosp does to or maybe a local b/feeding support group are other options.

One of the things the Hv said to me this week as D hadn't gained as much weight as i had expected was to make sure he has all the milk from one breast to ensure he is getting the hind milk which is the cloarific stuff.

You are doing your best which is all any baby can ask from their mommy

 

[Emmylou]

Awwwww hun - you are not a failure, please don't feel that way
As said above, the hindmilk is the fattier stuff, so make sure he feeds fully from one breast before moving to the other. Perhaps if he has a short feed, then is hungry again within say 20-25 minutes, put him back on the same boob, he'll get more hindmilk that way (I think thats right)
Check out with your HV where your local bf support group is & most importantly, don't put too much pressure on yourself, relax about it.
If he needs formula to gain weight & satisfy his hunger, then he needs formula, that does not make you a failure at all!
Be kind to yourself hun

 

[Baileysmummy]

Thanks everyone..

he feeds for about 7 mins then unlatches and i cant get him back on, so ive been doing his bum and playing with him a little to get him bck in the mood, sometimes it works sometimes it doesnt..

I must admit im not eating great, but i do make an effort because i know i need to make baileys milk, thanks budge will drink more, i didnt know you needed to drink more than usual, i just wish someone had told me this,

Last night he fed better than he had done before, he went 3 hours again, i seem to think he has a bad 24 hours where he feeds regularly, then the next 24 hours hes good and goes 3-4 hours, he does suckle well, im sure hes latched properly..

I have the lady coming tommorrow again so im going to feed bailey there and then to see if im doing anything wrong and hopefully she will point me in the right direction what im doing wrong..

I really want to avoid formula as i know hes getting the best stuff from me..

and no i havent breast fed my others, i was young but want the best for bailey..

thanks again everyone, will keep you informed how we get on

 

[kirlykird]

Please don't feel bad

When Sam was born I didn't have anything there..the midwife couldn't even squeeze any out so we used donated breast milk & I pumped & pumped & fed him this even though sometimes we could only give him 5ml of me at a time.

It did get better but nit great so I used to supplement with bottle too.

Sam is exclusively on bottlesas it didn't work well for me but regardless I know I gave it my best shot for at least 6 weeks

Work on it if that's what you want to do but don't feel a let down,you're doing fantastically haven got this far

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

dont feel bad hun your doing great , if it doesnt work out at least you tried
Katrina

 

[SarahH]

Dont ever say you have failed as a mummy ever again or I might have to come down there and kick your arse back into shape!!

Have you got a bf clinic close by?

 

[Baileysmummy]

Dont ever say you have failed as a mummy ever again or I might have to come down there and kick your arse back into shape!!

Have you got a bf clinic close by?

Nope hun, theres supposed to a clinic that offers breast feeding support but they dont run it as not enough mums go..

and ok i wont say it again...

 

[mum2A&L]

Dont ever say you have failed as a mummy ever again or I might have to come down there and kick your arse back into shape!!

Have you got a bf clinic close by?

Nope hun, theres supposed to a clinic that offers breast feeding support but they dont run it as not enough mums go..

and ok i wont say it again...

thats appaling!! i would have a moan at my HV about it!!

Have you tried surestart? they have 3 BFing groups within a reasonable distance to me!

 

[Baileysmummy]

well i asked sure start on tuesday when the popped to do bradleys 2 yr check and give me loads of info for the summer activities etc, and they havent got one either.. same reason as no one goes to them..

Im gonna make another post in a min as im wee worried, probably over nothing but *sigh*

 

[budge]

Thanks everyone..

he feeds for about 7 mins then unlatches and i cant get him back on, so ive been doing his bum and playing with him a little to get him bck in the mood, sometimes it works sometimes it doesnt..

I must admit im not eating great, but i do make an effort because i know i need to make baileys milk, thanks budge will drink more, i didnt know you needed to drink more than usual, i just wish someone had told me this,

Last night he fed better than he had done before, he went 3 hours again, i seem to think he has a bad 24 hours where he feeds regularly, then the next 24 hours hes good and goes 3-4 hours, he does suckle well, im sure hes latched properly..

I have the lady coming tommorrow again so im going to feed bailey there and then to see if im doing anything wrong and hopefully she will point me in the right direction what im doing wrong..

I really want to avoid formula as i know hes getting the best stuff from me..

and no i havent breast fed my others, i was young but want the best for bailey..

thanks again everyone, will keep you informed how we get on

how are you doing?

SSS maybe you could organise someone to have the other two boys whilst you and bailey spend the day in bed. Both of you can spend it eating and sleeping
You don't have to eat fatty stuff either. Make yourslef up a friut salad or some chopped carrots etc and lay and munch on them all day. Make a flask of decaff coffee up too and lay in bed allllllll day!! you could have a dvd feast too!!!

this will help boost your milk supply up!
Try it chick!

 

[Baileysmummy]

aww budge, i wish i could spend the day in bed, but im just not like that, i need to be up and about, if its not the kids its the cleaning...if its not the cleaning its the dog pissing every where

But i will try that this afternoon when i take the kids to nursery i went shppoing yesterday and bought loads of sald and fruit bits, do u really think it will work..

everything is just so up and down at the moment, last night he went hours without a feed, he had 2 feeds in 24 hours, thats worried me as hes loosing weight as it is.. but i will not despair! hes getting weighed again tommorrow so will report back then, also today the breast feeding lady is coming bck so will tell her about my worries and see if she can find me a support group to go to cos i cant find any anywhere!

Thanks for thinking about me this morning budge..

 

[Redshoes]

Very BIG hugs sunshinestars
You're doing everything you can, very well done!!
I thought all babies lost weight after being born anyways, and with him being little, maybe it just takes him a little longer to put it back on?

Sending happy, comfy thoughts your way

 

[budge]

aww budge, i wish i could spend the day in bed, but im just not like that, i need to be up and about, if its not the kids its the cleaning...if its not the cleaning its the dog p*ssing every where

But i will try that this afternoon when i take the kids to nursery i went shppoing yesterday and bought loads of sald and fruit bits, do u really think it will work..

everything is just so up and down at the moment, last night he went hours without a feed, he had 2 feeds in 24 hours, thats worried me as hes loosing weight as it is.. but i will not despair! hes getting weighed again tommorrow so will report back then, also today the breast feeding lady is coming bck so will tell her about my worries and see if she can find me a support group to go to cos i cant find any anywhere!

Thanks for thinking about me this morning budge..

the thing is SSS you are only 3 weeks post natel. In my opinion you aredoing tooooooo much and this is why Bailey is not getting the nutritious breast milk he needs.
you have to be prepared to leave the housework and put the dog outside if you want to feed bailey yourslef and succeed.
If you rest and do what i said in my first post for 4 or 5 weeks you will be fitter and healthier all round. And more importnatly your milk will be heathier for bailey too.

 

[Baileysmummy]

aww budge, i wish i could spend the day in bed, but im just not like that, i need to be up and about, if its not the kids its the cleaning...if its not the cleaning its the dog p*ssing every where

But i will try that this afternoon when i take the kids to nursery i went shppoing yesterday and bought loads of sald and fruit bits, do u really think it will work..

everything is just so up and down at the moment, last night he went hours without a feed, he had 2 feeds in 24 hours, thats worried me as hes loosing weight as it is.. but i will not despair! hes getting weighed again tommorrow so will report back then, also today the breast feeding lady is coming bck so will tell her about my worries and see if she can find me a support group to go to cos i cant find any anywhere!

Thanks for thinking about me this morning budge..

the thing is SSS you are only 3 weeks post natel. In my opinion you aredoing tooooooo much and this is why Bailey is not getting the nutritious breast milk he needs.
you have to be prepared to leave the housework and put the dog outside if you want to feed bailey yourslef and succeed.
If you rest and do what i said in my first post for 4 or 5 weeks you will be fitter and healthier all round. And more importnatly your milk will be heathier for bailey too.

ok i give in..

everything goes on hold... i feel really bad now cos it is my fault bailey isnt getting what he needs, he gets weighed soon, so will report bck later..

 

[budge]

aww budge, i wish i could spend the day in bed, but im just not like that, i need to be up and about, if its not the kids its the cleaning...if its not the cleaning its the dog p*ssing every where

But i will try that this afternoon when i take the kids to nursery i went shppoing yesterday and bought loads of sald and fruit bits, do u really think it will work..

everything is just so up and down at the moment, last night he went hours without a feed, he had 2 feeds in 24 hours, thats worried me as hes loosing weight as it is.. but i will not despair! hes getting weighed again tommorrow so will report back then, also today the breast feeding lady is coming bck so will tell her about my worries and see if she can find me a support group to go to cos i cant find any anywhere!

Thanks for thinking about me this morning budge..

the thing is SSS you are only 3 weeks post natel. In my opinion you aredoing tooooooo much and this is why Bailey is not getting the nutritious breast milk he needs.
you have to be prepared to leave the housework and put the dog outside if you want to feed bailey yourslef and succeed.
If you rest and do what i said in my first post for 4 or 5 weeks you will be fitter and healthier all round. And more importnatly your milk will be heathier for bailey too.

ok i give in..

everything goes on hold... i feel really bad now cos it is my fault bailey isnt getting what he needs, he gets weighed soon, so will report bck later..

its not too bad to put all on hold for a few weeks thoufgh is it ????
It will be worth it! Remember that you had a section too - you should be takingit easy.