How to make more...

[Chellybaby88]

time for daughter. I have a really busy life for a 22 year old and sometimes i just feel so drained by it all. I work long hours 5 days a week, deal with the finances and also have OH's alcohol dependance to deal with. I want to be able to have the energy to spend time with DD when i come home from work but i always feel too tired.

I feel like a bad mum because of this. I love her so much but i do moan at her alot when i am knackered and cant help feeling that she picks up on the fact that i dont play with her enough. I try to get motivated and its ok to start with but i just feel so drained.

All i want is to make her happy and i feel i am neglecting her in some ways.

Sorry for the depressing post. I just don't know what to do. Am i a bad mum?

 

[Wobbles]

Awwww hun Firstly no you are not a bad Mum if you are so am I because I found some of me in your thread.

Kids are at nursery Monday - Friday and when they are home (we work from home but still work all the same) it choas they are tired and ratty from a long day of playing, they do enjoy it but when they get home we need routine ...bath > PJs > supper then the youngest goes to bed by 6.30/7.00pm and eldest between 7/8pm. Week days are never 'nice' and I too end up feeling bad for that but we have to survive too.

Our weekends are now for our girls unless they are napping or playing nice together happily then I'll do some house work or put my feet up and have a refresh of the forums.

Even if its small things they will love it!
drawing/painting at table
playing in garden
helping you dust the tables etc
helping you fold the bath towels to put away
baking/decorating some fairy cakes
recently i bought a sandpit and toys (they LOVE it)
Small walk to the shop for some milk
An hour in the park

I also snap when I'm tired and I beat myself up over it, I amforever saying NO so after a question I sked here I took up on something someone said and have tried to NOT use the word no and to change it with please, thankyou, could you, can you, you can't, you'll hurt yourself, etc.

Please get down - thank you
Can you keep yoru toast on your plate please - thank you
Don't hit your sister, please say sorry, thank you
Eat your dinner nicely please - good girl

This way I noticed calmed 'me' down my approach was making me more relaxed, wasn't upsetting my daughters and they weren't learning from me

x x x

 

[Chellybaby88]

Thanks for your reply Wobbles. I was beginning to think i was the only one going through this!

It is hard trying to balance things out but i have been trying to pull myself together and take Leoni out in the garden or do a bit of painting before dinner time. She seems to have enjoyed it and it makes it worthwhile when i am sitting knackered when she goes to bed.

I have decided to take her back up to my mum's in Edinburgh in two weeks, just me and her, so hopefully we can bond more when OH isnt there.

I think i just need to chill out about the housework and things that need doing round the house during the week because OH can help and we can do it little by little. It would mean i would have more time to spend with leoni and i wouldn't feel so tired as well.

I also use that technique and i let Leoni explain herself to me instead of just telling her off. It seems to be more effective than just shouting at her.

Thanks again hun x