Fathers rights - advise please!

[JoAnn&Aimee]

I hope this is the right place to put this. I've mentioned previously about my brothers ex. I get along with her good but she has so much hatred for my brother and flat out refuses to give him access to his 12 week old daughter Holly. They split up during the pregnancy, she told him to stay away so he did, then about 5 months in she started talking to him again but after 4 weeks they had an argument and she told him to never contact her again. After Holly was born my brother went to visit her to help out. He stayed for 2 nights so that she could sleep but she never did and instead told him he was useless. He offered to make the feeds ('you can't do it right!') and to do the washing ('you'll break the machine!!'). So basically he was damned if he did and damned if he didn't.

His heart is breaking that he can't see Holly, when my mum told this to Holly's mum she said 'no he isn't! he is manipulating everyone!' He was giving her around £100 a week for Holly which she told my dad was far too much and to make it £40. My dad drops off the money every friday. So he basically pays maintenance but doesn't get any access to his daughter. I find this very unfair. Surely he is entitled to see her. He wasn't present at the birth and she refused to put his name on the birth certificate. Is he still entitled to Fathers Rights?

He doesn't want to take her to court to gain access but we all know she isn't going to budge on it.

 

[farls]

your brothers situation sounds the same as my brother. he split up with his girlfriend when she was 20 weeks gone. they were young and her parents kicked off and it all got out of control and no one would have anything to do with my brother. we have a friend who worked at the hospital so we got word that the baby had been born but didnt know his name or birthdate. a few weeks later he got a letter from csa, this was how my brother found out his own sons name. my brother payed the csa and decided to take her to court. it took 2 1/2 yrs to get it all sorted. he eventually started seeing the bairn 2 hours a week and it progressed from there. my nephew is now 8 and can not remember his dad not being there (thank goodness) and luckily my brother and his ex are friendly enugh for it all to work out but it took many years to get here. tell your brother not to give up. unfortunately he has no rights as the father as he was not married. keep paying money even though its frustrating as if you stop she would use that against him in court. i would start it now as it does take while. sorry its a long post but my brothers story ended up ok so just wanted to let you know.

 

[KirstyD]

They changed the law so unmarried fathers get the same rights as married father BUT only if they are named on the birth certificate, if he's not on there then I think legal procedings are his only option unless he can talk her round.

 

[JoAnn&Aimee]

legal procedings are his only option unless he can talk her round.

That will never happen. She is very stubborn. She is actually a good friend to me but recently I have been biting my tongue a lot. She said the other night that she took away my brother getting to see the birth of his child and that is something he'll never get back and she said it with such smugness.

She is already going to court with her 4 year old and I know he isn't wanting to take her to court as he saw what it done to her but I don't see any other way of him getting to see his daughter. I tried to say to her about possibly him seeing Holly once a week maybe at her parents house but she is having none of it. She'll allow my parents to see Holly and I know they'd love to take Holly for the night but as my brother lives with them that will never happen. She doesn't want Holly to get hurt the way her 4 year old has by her father but when Holly is older she'll ask why she never got to see her dad when her older sister got to see hers even though that is because of the courts. If it was up to her she'd not see her dad either but his family took her to court for access and got it.

It is a big mess, I want to say I can see it getting resolved but I doubt it ever will which is sad for my brother, Holly and her mum.

 

[kalia]

I googled this and found that he needs to apply for parental responsibility. If she won't agree to it then he'd have to apply for the parental responsibility through court.