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[jayla's mummy]

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[Clydesdaleclopper]

You're not alone. I'm very worried about my in laws trying to take over. My family is hundreds of miles away and my MIL is a VERY dominant person. I'm sure she's going to try and interfere. I've told my OH that I don't want any visitors in the first 2 weeks so that I can have time to bond with the baby and establish breast feeding. He wasn't keen on the idea but I have insisted. You need to get your OH to back you up otherwise it's going to be difficult. Good luck

 

[jayla's mummy]

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[BEX101]

I feel what your feeling too.

We live closer to my OH parents than mine and the MIL is very controling over her son. Plus i'm moving to 400 miles away 6 weeks after the birth of the baby, so ALL the family members feel the need to help in those early weeks while they have the chance. My biggest fear isnt the baby or not being able to cope. It's the family. I also made it clear to my OH from the very begining that we were not having it like picadilly circus when the baby comes home. i want the chance to bond, establish breast feeding and our own routine.
I have nightmares about just getting me and the baby asleep and people turning up and expecting to be "entertained".
Oh.... and the phone! nightmares about people phoning just as after 2 hours of pursuasion i get the baby off to sleep.

 

[jayla's mummy]

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[enn]

ive been scared since week 20 something lol but im looking forward to seeing my baby and coming off the iron tablets

 

[leckershell]

Nat's mom is quite full-on too, but you should try and explain that at least the first couple of weeks you really need time to bond with your baby as it's the most important time. I was told today that skin-to-skin right after birth should be done a few times in the first couple of weeks, as the baby feels comfortable there and it's good for bonding.

Regardless of how you feed, but especially if you're breastfeeding, you need to be with your baby in the early days. If they want to help with baby things, explain you'd prefer them to *help you* to help baby, so do things that'll help you out like making you lunch, doing the washing etc.. or looking after the little one for an hour or so while you have a bath, but you should make it clear the baby is in *your* care.

I'm not looking forward to telling OH's mom these things either, but it's the first few weeks of your new baby's life with you, and you can't get that time back. Offer them jobs they can do to make them feel like they are helping, as you'll be very tired, but don't let them take control as it just isn't fair.

 

[eightball]

I can totally imagine how you're feeling. I feel protective too of those first few days, it scares me knowing how much both families will want to be all over us straight away. I've no problem making it clear to my family but I'm not sure the message is getting across to his family.

My advice to you would be to speak to both your boyfriend and his mum. Try and get your boyfriend on side with you as much as you can, explaining how important it is to bond and get as many peaceful moments as you can in those first days. And also talk to his mum about how you're worried that people might take over and you'd like to do as much as you can on your own, to learn and make your own mistakes.

Even if she's a little put out or offended she should understand.

good luck, I hope they understand and support you

 

[jayla's mummy]

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