Can't help it...

[Nic36]

... But I feel a bit hurt and upset.
I know I probably shouldn't, but Emily is almost four months old now and MIL (Emily's only grandparent) has not given her anything. She gave us some money to put towards the pram several months before Emily was born, and sent a new baby card when she was born, but that's it. She lives a long way away, so we have only managed to take Emily up to visit once so far - staying overnight in a hotel isn't cheap and the journey was very long.
She told us whilst we were there she had wanted to get a little something for Emily, but hadn't been able to get out much. She does have poor health, and I wouldn't expect her to traipse around the shops, but she does go to sainsburys twice a week and they sell things there, or even a pound or two in an envelope would have made me feel better.
I feel really guilty for feeling upset, but it makes me feel she can't be bothered with her only grand daughter. Would others feel this way or am I being unreasonable?
I have sent her lots of photos of Emily, and bought a nice frame that I sent up to her too.

 

[VikkiR]

I don't think you are over reacting, I'd feel the same. It's not about the money is it, it's the thought, hugs xx

 

[mum2b410]

No hun, I think its perfectly reasonable to b upset! Like vikkiR said its the thought, not the money! C

 

[BevG]

yeah, if she called once a week and asked about her maybe?

my mum has bought 1 outfit and given us a bit of money to buy her things but more importantly she visits and she babysits and shes always dying to see baba or hear about her. hell she steals my photos off facebook for her album lol. those show she cares way more than buying stuff. its that kind of thing you want even if she cant get out or visit its that shes thinking of her granddaughter and loves and misses her is what your feeling the lack of. im sure she does miss her and cares very much but ppl get wrapped up in their own little lives and unless lo is near her its probably very easy for her to not think about getting her anything etc.

 

[Maria1977]

Everyone went really overboard when we had Oscar but when Lula arrived nothing near as much. Tbh I don't expect people to go spending mad, but I really do expect a card. I keep all of their things and it upsets me to think that when Lula is older and they are both looking through their boxes that Oscar has cards from so many people and Lula has about 7 cards. Even her aunt and uncle (bil & sil) didn't get her even a card. OH asked them about it and they reckon they have ordered her a card from moonpig or somehwere and that it never turned up.. and that they were ordering again but still we haven't received anything. Her Nanna (MIL) only came to see her at the hospital and has only seen her twice since, once coz we had to go to hers for OH bday and once coz she dropped something off at ours, but other than that she's too busy decorating her house. Makes me feel sad coz newborns change everyday and everyone is missing out on it.

I love my children so much and I desperately want them to be treated as equally as possible, but looks like Oscar is the golden boy and Lula is being missed out on

 

[BevG]

its the relatives that are missing out tho, our children are loved and cared for, idolised equally for their many fab achievments however small by us, anyone else is just a bonus. they dont need anyone else

 

[prettypenguin]

Yep i feel like thaat with certain people in my family, mainly ohs tbh none of them give a crap or ask about him and hes the first grandson in both sides so it upsets me more, never mind though he will find out for himself when he is older and make his own decisions, just like I did x

 

[Nic36]

Thanks, ladies. It totally isn't about the money - it's the sentiment, the thought that she is thinking about Emily and that she cares for her. The thing is I feel sure she does care about her, but just doesn't quite know how to show it.
I suppose I am also thinking about how my Mum would be if she was still here - she would totally dote on a grandchild and be constantly interested in her development, etc, etc.

 

[BevG]

maybe give her a call once a week with updates, im sure she would love to hear from you about how em is doing

 

[Hope81]

The bean is not here yet and I k ow how you feel...
My parents bought us the pram, all of te clothes, blankets, sheets etc and all the furniture.... Practically they got us everything.... Well gave us money to buy those I mean...
While my oh parents just gave us a small amount of money and that's all.
Now I couldn't care less for more money as we already has everything but they could get a toy, maybe a little dress or simple things like that? Just to feel like they care?
I know they are oven the moon for the baby and they are quite very good with money so I don't get it...
Came to the conclusion that it's a matter or cultural differences and traditions.
My parents are Greek and they would do everything for me, pay everything etc, his parents are Canadian/ Norwegian and obviously they have different traditions???
Otherwise I don't get it...
I am waiting to see what will happen when LO will be here....