Breastfeeding assistance from midwifes... (after birth)

[Warley]

Hi Midna sorry about this essay!

I think that this is why I am having such a problem now with it all. Babs was born in the middle of the night and OH was sent home at 2am...so firstly out of my head on pethidiene with a crying baby and no OH!!! So in an effort to try and calm him down gave him my boob - but it was all wrong and hurt like hell, niavely thought that even if he just uses it as a dummy at least it will calm him down - my nipple was chewed to bits!

Next day I was asking continually if someone would show me how to do it. A student came to me about 3pm and said she would pop back about 4pm and show me as he was asleep then. Four came and went....at 5pm I went and asked where she had gone,...apparantly off to another ward!!!....So a health visitor who wasn't working and had come to visit her niece said she would help me (it was her day off!). She showed me how to do it in the ruby ball way and although it hurt it did work...anyway by that time I was sick of being in there and just wanted to get home so admittedly it was pretty hurried.

Through the night it was pretty awful I just couldn't do it nipples were coming out of his mouth in all shapes and sizes..I was in tears most of it with the pain. The midwife the next day did seem happy with the way it was going but said she would get the HV to come and see me the following day...from then it just got worse. He was starving with a rumbling tummy and continually rooting for my boob, obviously I was trying but it was like bloody target practice!! My nipples are huge and it was horrendous trying to judge which bit of them he was sucking..at one point he was sucking the areola so much he gave me a second nipple next to the actual one!

The HV was wonderful and showed me some more positions of how to do it but I think by that time it was really too late..I spent the day trying again but kept gettig panicky and anxious everytime he looked hungry and was hysterical everytime he latched on.

The next day I had had enough, baby was starving and very yellow so sent OH to get some formula. Told HV and she was really lovely and fine about the whole thing, in fact she said she was going to suggest a bottle alongside as he was looking poorly.

I tried to express today as the main milk has finally come in but after 10mins I had...1 drop!

I am still really upset about the whole thing and keep bursting into tears everytime I read about f$&%ing breast is best...it's written EVERYWHERE!! Am completely sick of it!

I must say to those who have persevered and perfected BF I have nothing but respect,.

X

 

[KJ]

Just wanted to say Warley, that when I started pumping I would sit there for ages and only get a few drops.

It was only one time when I was pumping, I was just about to give up when I felt this tingling in my boobs and suddenly the milk just gushed out!!

I obviously hadn't been stimulating the let-down reflex when I was pumping. So it's not like I didn't have any milk, the pump just wasn't as good at getting let-down as Asher is.

Also to say, you shouldn't be expressing for the first 4-6 weeks anyway as it'll muck up your supply.

So, if you do decide to give it a go then don't think you're not producing anything, it might just be pumping technique.

K.xx

 

[Squiglet]

I could rant for ages with Tia I had no help at all... the day after she was born...I couldn't settle her...she just kept crying and crying and so did I... eventually the noise attracted one of the night mw who came ove squeezed my boob, said you've got no milk left and what formula would I like. I was totally unprepared...having been told that you always have enough milk etc by my other mws and antenatal classes, so Tia had top ups of formula until my milk came in 5 days later (I'd bled alot)...I stuck at it though and despite the painful nipples and tiredness I got through. but it was mainly because the medical professions bfing attitude then was the same now (not bfing = bad mum) but without any help.

With Serena...omg... Spanish attitudes are so bizzare, they spout out the phrase breast is best all the time, posters everywhere...but in the next instant they are saying formula is more sanitary and better for prem/sick/colicky babies because it helps them gain weight and you can add dietary requirements to it and this is the consultant paediatrician saying this. out of the 7 babies in the SCBU lil miss was the only one breast fed and they constantly tried to tell me I was a bad mother and force fed lil miss formula whenever they could. they even tried to give me tablets to dry up my milk...

I had to fight real hard to keep bfing...if it had been my first baby I'd have given up, no question. there is absolutely no support, no home visits, no mws on the ward, no hv's...but I was lucky enough to have done it before and really enjoyed it so was more determined to keep going.

 

[trixipaws]

i was very lucky really looking back- altho i found it hard at the time (wasnt sure what i was doing and whether i was doing it right etc)- i had a home birth so two midwives all to myself- both helped us get started and one of the first things one of them said was "ooh, she's a good feeder", so that was lucky too as millie took to it well, also i had lotsa support from my mum, who's quite a "lactivist(?)"

 

[valentine]

I had a home birth and one of the two midwives stayed for a good couple of hours after the birth to tidy up, help me to the loo and help me latch on and breastfeed - she then came back later the same day (I gave birth at 9am and she came back about 5pm) and helped us feed again as she hadn't fed since 11amish as she was zonked from the birth. Straight after the birth they also encouraged skin to skin from me and OH for at least an hour or so.

I found the community midwives fab and built up a fantastic relationship with them - I couldn't fault them but I'm such a princess, one reason I didn't want a hospital birth is because I wanted focussed midwife attention before, during and after the birth!

Valentine Xxx

 

[happy-chick]

This is gunna be long

My hospital really promote BF but the support afterwards on the postnatal ward ws shocking... After I had Ellie I got onto the postnatal ward about 10pm and was still very wobbly from epidural & pretty spaced out, during the night Ellie cried to be fed but I just couldnt figure out how to get her to latch on so I buzzed for help but they were useless, they explained what to do then just left me & told me to keep trying, or they would tell me they would come back & never would... this happened about 4times in the night.

By the next day I was so distressed & got really upset that she had hardly fed & I was struggling so they asked me would I feel more comfortable in a private room & was moved there. I continued to struggle but recieved hardly any help at all, they got me to express some & they fed her through a cup. They wouldnt let me go home cos she wasnt feeding & basically said that I would be a bad mother if I went home unable to feed, the MW said that I was being selfish so I stayed in against my wishes.

That night I was so tired & worked up I cried most of the night, I ended up giving her formula because I couldnt face the thought of her being hungry. Then the next day I told them I wanted to go home & was going to continue bottle feeding... I had no intention of doing this but just needed to get out of that place.

I went home & continued trying to BF then topping up with formula but was still really struggling, my MW advised me to go to BF support & its the best thing I ever did!!! I really dont think i'd be BF now if I hadnt gone there, they told me that Ellie was latching perfectly and that she looked like an excellent feeder, she explained that most women have problems & to stick at it... She gave me the confidence in myself to do it & im still BF now I've reached my 6week target

So all in all the support was CRAP & I have considered making a complain but to be honest I really cba! Whats the point in them promoting BF so much if they arent going to provide the support in hosp that women need!

 

[rachie29]

Lets see... didnt get any from hospital m/w!

They would come in and see that Holly was attached but then would leave us to it. I stayed in 2 days because I was worried about her feeding - it even said in my notes that i mentioned each time a m/w came into see us.

In the end I just wanted to get home and it took a community m/w who insisted on checking Hollys billirubin levels to sort it out. Her levels were so low we were in hospital for 2 days for phototherapy. The nurse on the childrens ward was FAB, she was a b/f counsellor and between us we got it sorted. I truly believe that it was only because of her that my milk came at 7 days as Holly was not feeding but i kept getting told 'she's getting what she wants'... er no she lost 11oz!

I agree that whilst b/f is pushed on you and you dont get the full story of what to expect... the one valuable lesson I did learn is that nothing beats a mothers instinct when it comes to their baby... I knew that Holly wasnt feeding and I was right. I will never be fobbed off again!

 

[zebrastripes]

My bf experiance was weird to begin with. I was so off my face right after being sectioned that I could never have worked it on my own.Luckily the lady who sorted me out in recovery was fantastic-she made sure we got skin to skin the minute I was wheeled it,and she had Willow latched on within 15 minutes I wouldn't be bfing now if it wasn't for her.

After that,though,I didn't get much help. I got my mum to get me Lansinoh-they didn't have any in hospital and I only got some casual help from a midwife who really had other things on her mind. Ofc no one told the breastfeeding counseller that I was bf til my 3rd day in hospital-though when she came up,she was absolutely lovely.I don't know what the mums who are just in-and-out of hospital must do-they mustn't get to see her,which defeats the purpose a bit.

My nips were bloody agony though,and I got blisters all over,plus they bled I don't think I got the best encouragement in hospital but it could have been worse,reading all your experiances.It annoys me how hypocritical they are though-banging it in to you that breast is best...a girl in my Young Mums group wanted to bf for the first few days so baby could get colostrum..but once she had had her son,all she was asked was whether she wanted SMA or Cow & Gate. Plus loads of people over here do tend to cop out from the abuse they get..NI is such a narrow minded little place,breastfeeding is seen as "dirty" by a lot of people.I'm not even joking

 

[poppy160]

I've been really really lucky when it comes to breastfeeding, when Ella was born she needed oxygen so she was taken away from me for a while, I can't remember how long, but as soon as she was handed back to me she latched on and started suckling straight away. But because she was a bit jaudiced she was very sleepy and didn't wake for feeds, and was too sleepy to latch on when I tried to feed her. I asked for the midwives' help and they were okay, I had to express and use a syringe to feed her and also had to give her 30mls of formula, but because she wasn't latching they wouldn't let me home. On the second day they basically left me to get on with it and told me to call them if she latches which I did, but it would take them ages to come to me and by that time Ella had gone back to sleep. In the end I convinced them I had breastfeeding established and they let me home. I took some syringes with me just incase and thought if the worst comes to the worst I'll go to formula but I managed to get it established with the help of leaflets and my OH, now she's as good as gold. I feel so lucky she has taken to it so quickly.

 

[weenik]

I'm happy with the help I got, but it may have been because Dylan was in intensive care. As soon as he was born he was in beside me and I put him to the breast but then he was taken away because he wasn't breathing properly I had to express and a MW collected it with a syringe and took it down so he could be fed through a tube. I had him at 4.21 on the Friday and my milk was full flowing on the Sunday so I was able to use the hospital equipment to express. After 5 days he was moved to special care and that's when I started to feed him myself. It took a while for him to understand what to do, and the staff in the special care unit were helping by squeezing my nipples into the right shape and showing me how to get him on properly. After a few days we were good to go, but like others, I had no idea how tiring it would be and how much he was going to be stuck to my boob.

 

[LaineyG]

I never saw the same midwife twice in the hospital after the birth.

I kept getting conflicting information like - If her jaw is moving then she's feeding. If her jaw isn't moving then she is feeding, etc.

Totally confusing!

My milk came in really quickly and they mw I saw last said "Oh mummy is full to bursting" but didn't say anything to me about the fact that I was engorged.

My first night home my boobs were sooo engorged that Mhairi could hardly latch on. The next day when the mw came round I burst into tears and said I really want to bf, but they are sooo hard.....she told me to get formula and start Mhairi on a bottle. No advice at all.

When the health visitor came round and filled in the questionaire as to why I had stopped bfing, she answered it for me! Marking "Physical problems/illness" as the reason! I was so knacked I didn't put up a fight, but wish I'd made her tick "No support" instead.

Why oh why do you feel bullied into bfing, then when you are willing nobody has the time for you?????

xxx

 

[-Kelly-]

I had a midwife briefly explain how to hold him while I fed him (from the other side of the room while she was filling in a form) and there were posters everywhere showing how to latch the baby on. I didn't feel like I got much support, but then again I didn't ask for it because he took to feeding straight away.

Since then I've never had a problem with it, it's never been painful apart from when I had thrush and even then I was able to feed through it, he's always latched on perfectly and he's never really been through a phase of wanting to constantly feed and tiring me out yet either. I feel like I've been really lucky because I hear people talking about how difficult it is and think, "is it really?! I've found it a breeze!"

 

[mrs_tommo22]

I got no help with either of my babies in my hospital and when I had Imogen the midwife missed a appointment with me and I wanted to see her desperately to ask about breastfeeding and problems I was having and she didnt turn up so I was fuming and Imogen was screaming for food so in he end I gave her a bottle and carryed on with it as she was more content.

Though I think if that mw had turned up I may have been breastfeeding still.
I told my hv and she was furious and put in a complaint about it for me but has done nothing but encourage me an no negative feedback about formula feeding. I still feel reserntful sometimes when i see how well breastfed babies are doing and they have such a close bond with their mums. I wish I had that bond with my kids.

 

[purple13]

i just started a thread about the problems i'm having... its made me feel better knowing that other people have struggled too.

i feel like such a failure

 

[erin]

I agree with you Midna, they should tell us about the things that may happen while breastfeeding. At the hospital, I felt that the help they gave me was ok. But only because I didn't know was could possibly go wrong. I found the after-hospital help quite basic, I have serious issues with painful lumps, clogged/blocked ducts and the only things the midwives and GP ever did was to ignore and dismiss at times or give contradictory advice. Noone ever really said ok, I know this is what's wrong and this and this is what you should or shouldn't be doing. No, everyone said maybe and I think and what if you try this or the other and we'll see how it goes etc etc. and I had a really hard time and I only persevered thanks to my husband's support, people from this forum giving encouragement and me desperately wanting to keep breastfeeding. I think they should be helping more and give lots of info to mothers on what they should or should not do and not just ask at hospital (like they did with me) are you feeling ok feeding your baby? Are you confident. Well, I THOUGHT I knew how to feed my baby and I THOUGHT I was confindent only because I knew that much at the time.