Am i being unreasonable????

[BabyNumber1]

Early morning rant...

Heres the issue, can someone please tell me if they think i am being totally unreasonable or am i right to feel like this...

My OH is best friends with his ex (they went out for 2 years i think many years ago and them being friends doesnt bother me as theres other reasons as to why they were together blah blah blah) but anyway... so yeh his best friend is a girl and shes really nice... the thing is shes a bit 'much' if that makes sense...

yesterday i had my midwife appointment and i had to go back to the doctors later on to see my gp, so me and my OH walked round with the dog and as his friend lives right near the doctors he went there whilst i was being seen to... i finished at the doctors, and walked round to her house and as we were saying bye she hugged and kissed us (she usually does this so nothing out of the ordinary on that front) then she kissed my belly...

Yes i get she is excited, and shes looking forward to me having the baby as she is going to be god mother and stuff on his side (yes i know that sounds a bit weird with them being ex's but if you knew the background it wouldnt be AS weird) but not even MY best friend touches my belly never mind kisses it!!! ITs made me feel so uncomfortable!!

I mentioned it to the OH when we were on our way back home and he was just saying 'shes only being nice, you can tell her if you have a problem' the thing is i dont want to upset her and i can be really blunt with my words when something is p*ssing me off so as its his best friend id have preferred him to mention it to her...

If shes like this now when the baby isnt here... what is she going to be like when ive had the baby... i dont want her coming round all the time and picking up and mauling my baby...

Am i being irrational?? and is this just my hormones making me out to be a complete cow bag???

 

[Merfairy]

Hey chick; I am really funny about people touching my bump, only my OH is allowed to kiss it... your not being irrational hun, I can understand where your at as I have a sister who is the same. You need to lay down boundaries straight away and let her know you are in control and she cannot come whenever she feels like it; is what I have had to do with sister or she would be coming over all the time and interfering!! In fact I haven't seen much of her during the pregnancy to be honest, for that reason...

It is a invasion of your privacy when someone goes to touch your belly, my mum tried it to and it made me feel really uncomfortable... your protective over the baby, is natural... its your bump and your fears are natural... the irony is people want to touch it and feel it, but they don't understand how protective we become over our bumps..

If you see her again and she starts getting a bit 'over zealous' with you and the bump and she goes to touch your tummy, just request her not to do so as it makes you feel uncomfortable, she should respect your request; if she makes you feel daft for pulling back, then step it up and say its my bump thanks and I don't appreciate you touching it. If she is making plans to come to you regularly after the baby is born, state that you want time with your new born and would appreciate some space with the baby and you partner. I have had to do the same thing with my family, otherwise they would not let me be... you need to be honest, after all your are to mother this child in your way and do not want people interfering to much without your asking for help... hope this helps.. xxx

 

[Piglet10]

awww i wudnt like it either , if its any consolation dont worry about when babys here because the novelty soon wears off for everyone lol and not in a bad way , people dont get as excited etc so i wudnt worry from that aspect, and im totally the same as u soooo lunt with words xxx

 

[BabyNumber1]

Thanks for the reassurance!! I just dont feel like i can tell her how i feel cos im not that close to her but my OH is and thats why id rather he told her how it made me feel!

Ive got to the point where im planning on putting the key in the door and pretending im not in if she comes round (she has a key as she used to come and look after the dog when me and my OH werent living together) I know that sounds harsh but its just like ARGHHHHHHH!

Its not even like its just her i dont like it from, its everyone! And i dont want her picking the baby up all the time if she cries (i have no doubt in my mind that if she babysat every little sound that came out of Peanut's mouth she would be picking her up) which will just make it harder for us ...

I feel like just running away and living in a cave ... i really wish i was a hermit at times like these!!

 

[AyeshaD]

i totally agree with merfairy about "set boundaries" and should be coming from you instead of him.. this way she knows you aint one to mess around with..but if you let him talk to her, she'll drop all the none sense excuses of you might be jealous for the fact they even a best friends business into his ear..

 

[snr1982]

ewww thats creepy. lol. sorry but I hate anyone going near my bump never mind kissing it. Only my other half is allowed to do that as its his too. or maybe my daughter but that is something she has never even tried doing. I would have been like WTF you doing, get off me!

 

[pringle88]

I would have been like WTF you doing, get off me!

haha - my thoughts exactly!!! It seems more wierd because shes an ex but i get there is more to that whole situation so i dunno... if one of my OHs friends kissed my belly i would be freaked out! I dont have a problem with people touching my bump at all but kissing it is another story...

your not being irrational at all xx

 

[BabyNumber1]

One of my best friends is a guy and i said to my OH 'how would you feel if he kissed my bump' his answer... its different for girls... how is it different? A best friend is a best friend!!

God im so glad im not actually being a knob about this! I might kiss her belly the next time i see her and see how she likes it!

 

[HeppiBean]

It's your body and you have every right to tell her to p*** off if she makes you feel uncomfortable. I have a friend who is overly 'touchy feely' if you get me... Even before I was pregnant she was really into hugs and stuff and, yehh ok, I like hugs as much as the next person... But she takes it too far... Ever since I told her I was pregnant she's been touching my bump, bending down and talking to it up close... I mean come on! Yehh there's a baby in there but atm, it's still my body!! So... I told her I don't like it and wham... She got all insulted, then wuickly got over it and now... No more bumpy touchy feely stuff Tis gewd yahh?? Ha ha

On the other hand though I have another friend who isn't usually so touchy feely but when I saw her a while ago she was all touchy touchy on my bump cause she wanted to feel her move... But I didn't mind so much with her as, although I see her less, we're much closer.

Just explain how you feel I'm sure she won't mind xx

 

[Merfairy]

Thanks for the reassurance!! I just dont feel like i can tell her how i feel cos im not that close to her but my OH is and thats why id rather he told her how it made me feel!

Ive got to the point where im planning on putting the key in the door and pretending im not in if she comes round (she has a key as she used to come and look after the dog when me and my OH werent living together) I know that sounds harsh but its just like ARGHHHHHHH!

Its not even like its just her i dont like it from, its everyone! And i dont want her picking the baby up all the time if she cries (i have no doubt in my mind that if she babysat every little sound that came out of Peanut's mouth she would be picking her up) which will just make it harder for us ...

I feel like just running away and living in a cave ... i really wish i was a hermit at times like these!!

Hey you have to set boundaries, or your frustration will build up and you will feel out of control. Be honest, it is your right and if she doesn't like it, then its tough. You don't want someone else mothering your child sweet; you need to face her about it. If your OH talks to her as Ayesha said, she might use excuses... you need to do it chick really, its your body and your baby!! All the best xx

 

[Xcitedmum]

hmmmm yes this is a bit weird but it also says to me that she genuinely thinks alot of your OH to be so excited - but she is obviously comfortable enough around you to feel that she could kiss your bump without it becoming an issue...

I understand that mentioning it to her may upset things a bit - maybe she was just overexcited and it won't happen again? I mean, what exactly was your reaction when she did it?

 

[BabyNumber1]

hmmmm yes this is a bit weird but it also says to me that she genuinely thinks alot of your OH to be so excited - but she is obviously comfortable enough around you to feel that she could kiss your bump without it becoming an issue...

I understand that mentioning it to her may upset things a bit - maybe she was just overexcited and it won't happen again? I mean, what exactly was your reaction when she did it?

I just kind of turned away and walked off saying bye as quick as i could... i get she is excited and stuff but i have literally only known her about a year... even my own best friend wouldnt do it... god even my mum wouldnt do it and me and my mum are really close! She always rubs my bump when she says bye and ive tried to like back away from her and ive mentioned it to my OH in the past but tried to make a joke out of it but its getting to the point where i dread seeing her knowing what shes going to be like