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[Rosieroo]

I do think you're a great mum, that you love Summer and Summer loves you.
You've admitted that you're depressed and I think that you need to speak to someone about that, it will make things seem a lot worse at the moment. Also your hormones are all over the place with being pg, well I know mine are and at times I'm regretting getting pg so quickly as I am finding it hard to cope with Ella and dealing with the tiredness, so you're not alone.
I don't think your mum should take Summer, I think you need to work through your PND and get away from your mum and set up home with Chris (it sounds like you want that). Not trying to suggest your mum doesn't see Summer but she needs to be more supportive of the way you are feeling and not try and take your daughter away from you whilst you are down.
Ella will sit happily over my mums for hours, yet get frustrated with me at home within minutes, she just likes the change of scenery and chattering to new people. I know that doesn't mean she loves me any less though.

You're doing a great job Kayleigh, admitting what you have on here is a big step

 

[beanie]

I think you have been really brave writing that and sharing it with us. I don't ever think you are a bad mum, its obvious that you love Summer but PND makes people feel in different ways to how they think they should feel. I too feel guilty nearly everyday and do the same as you, buy Seren toys etc to try and make up for the fact that I am not a great mum and that I can't give her want she wants. But its not the real us feeling that, its PND and you are a fantastic mum to Summer. Her word of the mopment is probably Nana but I bet you are still the centre of her world. If you are feeling anxious or sad, she will feel it to which is why she may be a bit unsettled round you, but it does not mean she doesn't like you.

Tjhe situation with your pregnancy is something only you can decide. I would however try and talk to someone neutral, especially if you have PND so you can make a decision that is best for you, not your mum or Chris. Are you seeing someone for your PND, if not I really advise you to do so, speak to your HV, midwife or Dr.

PM me or chat on MSN if you need to. I think you are doing great, and have a lot of admiration for you

 

[sarah113]

i agree with kina hun, your a great mum and i a;so think u need 2 talk 2 some1 about ur depression, i felt the same as u after having my first baby and i also fell pg again streight away (wasnt planned either), at first i found it really hard 2 talk to anyone then after a few months after seeing this lovley lady i began to open up and it made me feel alot better (i still have depression now but when i feel low i just write in my book the lady told me 2 do, its called my feelings book which makes me feel gd again)
hope you feel ok soon hun
and ur a gr8 mum never forget that!!
sarahxxx

 

[beanie]

to be honest it does sound like there is a good chance you have depression, although I am not a Dr. I lied the second time I took the test, I scored 10 but when I did it properly I got 26 so I needed help but it was easier to lie. It is important you get the help and support you need, it is easier to put on a happy face but it takes so much out of you. Please talk to someone hun xxxx

 

[Urchin]

Kayl

Well done for asking for help....the girls are right, if you ask for help and get it, yours and Summer's relationship will become what you want it to be. It's best for both of you that you tell you GP or HV

 

[Dee1985]

Hi Kayl, ild defo go and see a doc it does sound like PND.

but then some days im just so bored with the same old thing i just let my kids entertain themselves. i do feel real bad about it but i dont have PND i just get so fed up some times.
im not going to say dont get an abortion or do get an abortion but it is more dificult with two so just make sure you do what you think is right.

i no you criticised me and the way i bring my children up. but i suppose with us both being so young its hard. some times i just miss being able to do things as and when i want. just get ready and go get drunk in a bear garden i miss things like that its so much hassel getting the kids ready getting fed their bags ready two babysiters get my self ready i just stay in its easier. your not alone we all feel like it some times. me and Dior went through the stage you and summer are, it was breaking my heart she hated me she would start hitting the laptop and closing it on me as i was on here instead of being wih her. but after moving house its all been a fresh start she loves me so much now and cuddles me all day so it can easily be turned round.

but just remember we are the nasty mums that do nasty things lol
im the one that baths Dior when she hates it forces her to have medicine forces her to have veg pins her down to change her bum so when she sees her nan or her daddy she loves them they are the ones that give her treats or play games with her

im sure Summer loves you. i think no matter what any one done to there child its a mother child thing no one can take it away

 

[stephlw25]

Hi Kay, not sure what to add really everyone has sort of said it all.
I agree with Beanie when she said you should talk to someone neutral, or try your Hv or gp, they are there to help you, it sounds like you need to get a lot of your chest and having a long chat with someone will do you good.

I think your a great mum and summer loves her mummy so much, i know it can be hard some days when they are in a grump and dont want any cuddles etc as its hard to feel rejected. Your not a bad for shouting, i cant imagine how tired you must be, the first 14 weeks of my pregnancy i couldnt keep my eyes open so to have to look after a baby/toddler too must be really hard work, especially as she dont sleep at night! but i think your doing a great job!
As for the pregnancy as others have said only you can decide on that and you have to do what it right for you, chris sounds lovely and i think he will def stand by you and support you.

You know im always here if you need a chat (by the way i text you on your birthday to say happy birthday,obviously!, but sent it to your old number! doh!)

thinking of you hunny xxxxxx

 

[emilia]

Here are some reassuring hugs from Oscar and I...

Take care sweetie-pie!
Emilia xx

 

[Dee1985]

by the way im 21 i think im still a child

 

[Tara & Liam]

hi kayl i hope that you read this.

i have been where you are too. kieran was 9 and joshua as just turned 3 and i was pregnant and i felt like a demon, its hard to love your children when you feel that youdont love yourself.

i will say that it will get better, i still have my off days now but i aim it more at DH now. i think that you really should talk to someone. it may feel better to get it off your chest. remember you are not alone, and please if you can just continue raising summer you are doing a fine job. maybe you mum could look after her one evening a week / fornight so that you can get a nights sleep. where does summer sleep? i used to sleep kieran in with me and he slept through, have you tried this.

take care and make sure youcome back on this forum.xxx