Zero libido since miscarriage

[lisey27]

Hi all,

it has been almost 2 months since my second miscarriage and I just have no interest in DTD. I actually dont like the thoughts of it.
My OH is feeling rejected and asked me last night "what are we going to do about your libido?" I said that he wouldnt be asking that if someone in my family had died, I said that I lost what would have been my child, its painful and heart-wrenching. I can't just get over it. I am getting on with things and to others, it may appear that I am ok but its always on my mind. I was just wondering if anyone else feels like this? if anybody elses sex drive is suffering? I feel guilty and pressured...he isnt putting pressure on me but the fact that I know he feels rejected, is making me feel pressured IYKWIM? xx

 

[netty]

you are still grieving hun, its normal to be disinterested in things after you have lost a baby x these things take time

 

[leean10]

Hi hun,

It has been 12 weeks tomorrow since I lost my 3rd baby!! I lost interest in everything, nothing had the same appeal for me but I went back to work after 1 week so as to keep my mind occupied otherwise I moping and crying all the time.

It is a loss and you are grieving so give it time, it will all come back to you again but the pain of your loss never truly goes away.

Big hugs to you sweetie xxx

 

[CARNAT22]

We didn't dtd for about 3 months after my first m/c. Mainly as I was bleeding for a very long time (albeit very lightly for the most part)

I don't remember my libido suddenly returning but it did. Although I do confess that deciding to carry on TTC meant that I had a "purpose"

I think you just need to take it slowly but also try to maintain intimacy in other ways (cuddles, massages, being tactile) and also you need to keep OH int he loop so to speak... Just so he knows it's not him!

xxxxxxxxxx

 

[mishi]

Honey you are grieving and we all do that differently. May way was to throw myself back into DTD in the hope of getting pregnant quickly as I felt so desperate to be pregnant, but you have to do (or not do) what you need to, to get you through this awful time.
Keep talking to hubby and you will both get through this somehow
xxx

 

[lisey27]

Thanks everyone, its nice to know its normal. I am reassuring him that its not him but I dont think he is convinced. I get so annoyed with him for not understanding but I know its so different as its my body that has been through it. I think when its time to TTC again, it will help as like you said carnat, it will feel like a purpose. xx

 

[jojo3972]

hi as the other have said its part of the process for some woman with me i want to get ttc asap mainly cos of my age but im finding it hard to get bk into it still full of hcg so hormones arent as rthey should and im just not getting that feeling altho i want that feeling its very odd cos all i have raved about since mc 17 days ago is getting bk at it asap and i still havnt :-/,maybe do a specialy night for u and ur oh nice meal a few drinks candles etc nice massage see how ya feel and if ya dont feel like dtd just have cuddles and niceness together xxx

 

[Km282]

It's deffinately normal hun, we are not ttc again just yet but I needed it straight after, I guess it made me feel closer to my oh. But when I asked the midwife how long I had to wait she was shocked she sed most woman don't Want to unless there tryin straight away for another baby and even then they do it as a chore so to speak. Don't rush into anything your not ready for. Sorry for your loss x