Young Mums

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Chat' started by mollythemama, Feb 3, 2016.

  1. mollythemama

    mollythemama Well-Known Member

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    Hey,

    I am 23 years old, 24 in July. My first baby is due this month. I know I'm not a super young mum, but I often feel it, especially at antenatal classes. I'm definitely the youngest one there, with most people being in their 30's. My partner is 27, but looks younger. I feel as mature as the others but just get a bit self-conscious about my age, like for example when people are talking about the ninetees and I'm like "I was born in the ninetees!!". (Didn't actually say that but I was thinking it).

    I find myself trying to avoid the conversation of age.

    My mum was 21 and my dad 20 when they first got pregnant and I think people often take after their their parents in what age they choose to have babies.

    My midwife was writing my d.o.b the other day and was shocked that I was born in 1992 and started saying how she couldn't believe it was only 4 years before her daughter.

    Am I reasonable to feel a bit embarrassed? Anyone else feel similar? Maybe the other way round, where you feel self-conscious about being older?
     
  2. Mrsbee

    Mrsbee Well-Known Member

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    I'm 23, not 24 until May... My other half is also 27.... I've never really considered myself as a "young mum" though I haven't been to any classes as I'm only 10 weeks... Good point though.

    I know many many many people that have had children far younger than me, and far older than me. I don't really think about age. Age doesn't make you a better/worse parent. I can understand you feeling a bit strange if they're older than you but I don't think that's anything to worry about sweetie I'm sure you'll both make excellent parents regardless of age :) xxxx
     
  3. MrsS15

    MrsS15 Well-Known Member

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    Hi Molly!

    I felt the same with my first pregnancy as I was 20 when I had him. I was by far the youngest in my classes and felt very out of place. I'd feel really embarrassed when people asked about my age etc! I don't think you're a young mum though, I think the issue is more women are just having babies later, so makes the younger mums feel even younger. If that makes sense lol!

    When I think about the 90s I can't believe that's people in their mid 20's now, its scary. I think that's what people mean when they mention it!

    You're a lovely age to be first becoming a mum. Don't let any comments put you down or make you feel otherwise :) xx
     
  4. Elfs Mummy

    Elfs Mummy Well-Known Member

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    I was 19 when I had my daughter and I'll be just 25 when this monkeys born. I was the youngest mum by 10 years in my group with my daughter. Age is just a
    Number at the end of the day :) xx
     
  5. Phoenix85

    Phoenix85 Well-Known Member

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    I was 18 when I had my first and 21 when I had my second!

    I'm 30 now with number 3 lol x
     
  6. caseysmummy11

    caseysmummy11 Well-Known Member

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    I was 17 nearly 18 when I had my first baby. I'm 23 now and my partners also 27 and we've since had our second and last baby. We both feel much older than we are. I feel like im really young now my sons at school compared to other children his ages parents. It used to make me self conscious but doesn't anymore xxx
     
  7. babyslog

    babyslog Well-Known Member

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    I was 22 when i ttc my 1st and had him 2 months after my 23rd.

    Im 25 now and baby is due 20 days before my 26th birthday. I had my physio antenatal class last week and could clearly see i was still the youngest this time around lol x
     
    #7 babyslog, Feb 3, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2016
  8. snowbee

    snowbee Well-Known Member

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    Try to enjoy it! Celebrate how lucky you are to have met someone you want to have children with already and spare a thought for the years of torture us oldies have had to endure waiting for Mr Right ;) Is the average age for having a first baby 26 these days? For some reason I think it is, so you aren't far off average at all.
     
  9. fairyprincess

    fairyprincess Well-Known Member

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    I'm 27, will be 28 which I think is about average these days. It's all about maturity though, I've got friends who had babies young who are fab parents but a friend our age who walked out on his partner and baby and hasn't seen either in nearly a year! He said he wasn't ready. Don't get me started but he should have thought about that! X
     
  10. Clare80

    Clare80 Well-Known Member

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    Average for a first baby has now reached over 30!

    I was 23, nearly 24 when had my first. Never felt self conscious. I had my own home, a good job and a stable relationship. I will be 35 when this one is born.
     
  11. Aes1990

    Aes1990 Well-Known Member

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    Hey! I was 19 when I got pregnant and 20 when I had my first so I totally get what you mean about feeling like the youngest. I'm 26 tomorrow and expecting number 2 in September and people still look at me as if I'm 19! There's no winning!
     
  12. kittyrooroo

    kittyrooroo Well-Known Member

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    I was 22 when I conceived the first time and I looked young! I was still getting asked for ID at 25. I did get a few judgemental looks from some people when I went shopping with a bump or after the baby was born with the pram. I just ignored it all though. Me and oh agree that although it was a surprise pregnancy, it's happened at a perfect time for us. We were young enough to bounce back! This time I'm 26 and im sure I'll get treated a bit differently.

    A lot of people do stop us in restaurants and tell us how well behaved our son is, and I think that's due to them being surprised because we are young! I just don't get it. Age is just a number. There's amazing 16 year old mums and really shocking 40 year old mums! Xxx
     
  13. Chrissi

    Chrissi Well-Known Member

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    I'm 22 hubby is 23 and we were by far the youngest parents at antenatal, but I don't care. We're both mature and knew what we wanted from early on in our relationship (together 4 years on baby's due date April 1St) We started ttc in September 2012 and saving for a deposit on our first home together. We moved in December 2013 fell pregnant on clomid Jan 2014 which sadly ended in miscarriage.
    Got married July 2015 and found out we were expecting again a few days later!
    Like someone above said, there are some very good young families that will move heaven and earth for their children, and there are some scummy mummies that are older- vice verse.
    We will be good mums, for starters we're on here asking questions and seeking advice. Not because we're clueless, but because we want to be the best parents we can! Xx
     
  14. mollythemama

    mollythemama Well-Known Member

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    Thanks all. Yeah I think I should just embrace my youth, I'm not a very confident person so find myself getting socially anxious very easily but probably unnecessarily.

    People are definitely having babies later, that is a good point. I agree though, it doesn't really matter what age you are in order to be a loving parent. I am young, fit and healthy and will be younger when my kids leave home so will be fitter to go travel the world or whatever! Although, we're kinda hoping to do that with them! :p

    Thanks Snowbee, that's another way of looking at it! I definitely didn't mean to sound spoilt at all, I realise how lucky I am to even be having a baby.

    Thanks guys, feel rather empowered now and couldn't care less about my age or anybody elses! ☺ xxx
     
    #14 mollythemama, Feb 4, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2016
  15. MissCharli

    MissCharli Well-Known Member

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    I am 23, 24 in August and due in October so the same as you pretty much :) My mum was exactly the same age as me and my OHs mum was exactly the same as he is so we're not too bothered.

    I haven't had any appointments yet but I do hope people aren't judgmental, after all we're not 16 and we have been together for 5 years!
     
  16. Glitter2707

    Glitter2707 Well-Known Member

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    I am not that young, was 27 when I had my first daughter & I'm 29 now 10 weeks after having baby 2. I was by far the youngest mum at our antenatal classes, everyone else was around 35. Nothing to worry about though, I quite liked being the baby of the group :)
     
  17. russellmuscle

    russellmuscle Well-Known Member

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    I had Jackson when I was 21(albeit for a month).

    I am and will be 24 when this one comes.

    I dont think your a young mum. Luckily it was a mixed age in my groups, a couple younger than me.

    Women are at their peak in their 20s too, strike whilst the iron is hot I say :lol:

    xxxx
     
  18. B81292

    B81292 Well-Known Member

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    I was 22 and turned 23 when my lg was 2 weeks old

    I felt exactly the same as you - like you're not really that young but you get treated like a young mum who's say 16.. I was also the youngest at ante natal and even my work colleagues were shocked when I found out as I'm the youngest there
    I don't regret it for a second, I'm glad I had my baby at this age as infertility runs in my family and would hate to go through what my mum did and couldn't have any more after me so I was an only child
     
  19. AngelLily

    AngelLily Well-Known Member

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    I was 20 when I fell pregnant with my son; which was a planned pregnancy and went into labour on my 21st birthday :lol:

    I'm 22, turning 23 next month and I'm 6 weeks pregnant with my second :D

    Some people chose to have children young, some people chose to have them at an older age and some people don't chose and have a lovely surprise! :lol: Doesn't make anyone better or worse at being a parent.
     
  20. flexilexi394

    flexilexi394 Well-Known Member

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    I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant and 20 when I had my first. I was also very young in my antenatal classes and didn't like being the youngest lol.

    I am 25 now and will be 26 when this baby comes... So that's nice that I'll be more mid range :) I also find now I am a young mum on the school playground. one particular other mum is 20 years older than me and really frustrates me because she goes on about how much younger I am and she even tries to boss me about haha! It's really weird! Xx
     

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