You never think

[Elfs Mummy]

after three healthy pregnancies you don’t expect to end up here.
The moment you see that line your a Mummy, you can see that perfect baby at the end of it. Your thoughts immediately jump to Christmas with three kids running around and a baby lying there staring at the lights on a tree.
You can see yourself taking your daughter to school with the boys running along the drive and a baby in a sling.
You imagine tandem feeding and wonder
If the toddler will share.
You see that baby lying on a blanket with a woolie hat and cord tie posing for you announcement.
You think of names, will it be a boy or girl?
You see your other children meeting the baby for the first time.
You picture that baby sitting in a high chair ready to taste it’s first food.
You see yourself as a family of six.
Then just like that you see the blood, you know that it’s over and all the things you saw are no more.
Then there’s the guilt.
Then more blood.
Then the wait for it to be over.

 

[Rainbow1234]

I’m so sorry you’re in this position. I’m in the exact opposite position, 4 pregnancies but only one living child. Everything you describe is exactly on the money. Life is cruel sometimes, look after yourself and your oh, you will get through this x

 

[Kholl]

Oh EM, I am SO sorry, I had the same experience... three easy and unremarkable pregnancies and healthy babies, and my fourth was an early miscarriage. For what it's worth, I conceived the month after that miscarriage and my angel baby boy is asleep on me right now. I know how painful it is, I really do, it's just so hideously awful. sending huge hugs.

 

[Elfs Mummy]

It’s not fair at all

So this morning I got the confirmation your hcg levels and projesterone levels are low. You have had a miscarriage....
I already knew.
Did they expect me to break down on the phone ?
Are you ok ? What a ridiculous question to ask. Am I ok of course I’m ok ... in the sense I’m healthy, I have three wonderful children.... I want to scream I’m not ok my baby was here and now she’s not !
Now I wait, and wait for the bleeding to stop. I wait for the reminder that my body couldn’t look after this baby.
Then I wait again. I wait two years before we even consider trying to complete our family. Two empty years when my heart is just screaming at me to have a baby. To complete our family two years until we’re in the right situation. I guess a baby for my 30th will be a good gift. I don’t know if I can handle the loss again. I don’t want to loose another what if.

 

[Elfs Mummy]

Praying for this baby to be a sticky due 10th December

 

[Alexis2017]

That's good strong lines congratulations. I had a early loss 2 weeks ago after my 1st round ivf. I've no children I don't know if I ever will be a mum but I was a mum for those few days I was pregnant and I live every day to be pregnant again.

Wiahing you so much happiness A x

 

[Elfs Mummy]

That's good strong lines congratulations. I had a early loss 2 weeks ago after my 1st round ivf. I've no children I don't know if I ever will be a mum but I was a mum for those few days I was pregnant and I live every day to be pregnant again.

Wiahing you so much happiness A x

I’m so sorry. You’re still a mummy to an angel xx