would you be offended?

Discussion in 'Third Trimester' started by umbongo, Jul 15, 2013.

  1. umbongo

    umbongo Well-Known Member

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    I just found out my brother's stag do and his fiancee's hen do were this weekend. My hubby and I weren't invited... I'm pretty close to my brother so I feel a bit weird about it.
    I assume he thought we wouldn't go (and to be fair we wouldn't have with me being this pregnant) so I guess they just didn't bother inviting us as they knew we'd say no?! I'd still have invited someone in that situation though.
    What do you think? I'm not going to make a big fuss or anything but it's made me feel a bit sad as I'd have thought he'd at least have mentioned it! :'(

    xx
     
  2. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

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    Hmm, yes I'd be a bit annoyed hun. Even though you wouldn't have gone anyway it would still have been nice to have been asked - he's taken the decision out of your hands by not even mentioning it.

    It's difficult knowing that everything has changed so dramatically already and we're not even mummies yet! It concerns me to think that friends/family will just automatically assume that because we're pregnant/parents that we just won't want to do any of the things we used to - even though we probably won't be able to do them it would still be nice to be asked!

    I think you're right not to make a big deal of it but I would maybe mention that you're a little upset - I'm sure he thought he was doing what's best but at least if he knows how it has made you feel he won't do it again!

    xx
     
  3. Littlemo

    Littlemo Well-Known Member

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    aww hun - yes i would be annoyed surely its your choice to decide what you can and cant do.

    your doing the right thing by keeping it chilled though - not worth stressing about x
     
  4. k8_005

    k8_005 Well-Known Member

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    Aww hugs. Iv noticed for a while some off the work girls stopped inviting me to lunch as they know money is tight or that they will be drinking when I can't its been a real shame as I couldv gone to join them a few times!! And maybe because the activitys they were doing on hen and stag weren't preg friendly ie go karting pub crawl etc your bro thought he was being kind by not inviting I'd leave it for now maybe next time you chat can joke about it how come I didn't get an invite am I that bad a sister haha... That type of thing :( x
     
  5. Kelly450

    Kelly450 Well-Known Member

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    Yep! You think it would be nice to be told xx
     
  6. Anna456

    Anna456 Well-Known Member

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    I would be a bit upset but would also think rationally like you are that you weren't invited because you're heavily pregnant. I would however say something as otherwise it just causes you needless upset as it really does sound like it was literally a case of them not asking to because they knew you wouldn't come and you can say it in a non confrontational manner - even start it by saying "look my hormones are a bit all over the place at the moment but I was a bit upset...etc"
    That way he can reassure you.
    I think it's always better to ask someone to something knowing that they can't make it just to avoid then feeling "uninvited" but some people literally just don't think about it and don't think that it may cause upset xxx
     
  7. Lydia

    Lydia Well-Known Member

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    I would definitely be annoyed! It's not nice not to be invited even if they know you won't be able to make it. xx
     
  8. Pregnot

    Pregnot Well-Known Member

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    yes I would be offended like you say u probably wouldn't go but it's still courteous to ask someone, very cheeky in my opinion.
     
  9. Lauren84

    Lauren84 Well-Known Member

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    I agree with the ladies. I'd be annoyed/upset by this and would have to mention it :-/ x
     
  10. Haylian

    Haylian Well-Known Member

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    I'd defo be annoyed, especially if you're quite close etc. even if they assumed you wouldn't go it's still unpolite to not even invite you. I think you do right not to get too upset about it, I doubt they had cruel intentions over it maybe just a bit thoughtless xx
     
  11. L2310

    L2310 Well-Known Member

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    I'd defo be upset! Fair enough they might of known you wouldn't of gone but its still polite to have been asked! And just because you couldn't go, maybe your hubby would of went to the stag do xx


     
  12. umbongo

    umbongo Well-Known Member

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    Aghhh my brother is so useless lately! Just been speaking to my parents and he never ever rings them and they are worrying about things to do with the wedding as mum has MS so they need extra arrangements etc. My brother is just so caught up with his life and friends in London these days he forgets to communicate anything to us. He's a lovely chap so it's not malicious, just a thoughtless boy thing!

    Xx
     
  13. amanda maxwell

    amanda maxwell Well-Known Member

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    Id be a bit annoyed tbh. My sister in law had a birthday thing a while back and I never got an invite. Even tho I probably wouldn't have gone, its still nice to be invited. Pissed me right off.

    Your right they probs assumed u wouldn't have gone, but still...
     
  14. Gemsy

    Gemsy Well-Known Member

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    I would be upset too, its nice just to be asked. But boys are useless. x
     
  15. k8_005

    k8_005 Well-Known Member

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    Also if there had been a meal then going out you couldv maybe gone for part of it. I went to a works party at 37.5 weeks pregnant people were surprised id gone but I didn't want to miss out and I knew it wasn't gunna be a wild affair I stayed for a few hours then left so yes actually the more I think about it the more annoyed I'd be lol but as u say more a careless boy thing than malicious so not a lot can be done big hugs. Xx
     
  16. Juice

    Juice Well-Known Member

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    I'd be annoyed! Are people going to assume that you're never going out ever again now that you're having a baby?
    We sent wedding invitations to family abroad who we knew wouldn't be able to come, but it's just common courtesy IMO. So they know that we wanted them there and were not presuming anything about their situation.
     

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