Would this upset you?

[Vicm]

I was at a good friends a few weeks ago, I have know her for 16years and her husband for 12.

Anyway they were asking about names I had chosen for my baby. I said we had some but we wernt telling anyone, not even our parents until he was born. Her husband laughed and said 'oh, one of those is it where you look at him and decide what he looks like, they all look the same you know'. That in itself annoyed me a bit, but I let it pass. The reason I don't want people knowing is I don't want to be put off the names I like.

About half an hour later I was showing them pics of the nursery on my phone. I left her husband to look at them while I went to kitchen to make a cuppa with my friend.

Then a week later I went to visit again. While my friend was outside smoking her husband asked me again about names. I laughed and said he would have to wait and see. He then said he knew all the names I had chosen. I said it was impossible as only me and my other half knew. He said 'so they are not on your phone then'. He had only gone and searched through my phone and looked in the notes section where I had written them AND gone on the baby names app on my phone and looked in favourates. He thought it was funny but I was absolutely lost for words. I would never dream of invading someones privacy like this on something that they had made clear was a secret.

This was about 4 weeks ago and I just cant bring myself to go round there again. Apart from being rude about it the first time, the more I think about it the more I cant believe what he did. Am I over reacting or would this have annoyed you too?

 

[Chezza]

I haven't posted in this section for a while, but I felt so incensed by this, on your behalf that I had to!

I would be absolutely furious if someone invaded my privacy in this way! How dare he do that and think it acceptable in any way shape or form!

I don't blame you for not wanting to go round there!! Have you spoken to your friend about it?? xx

 

[.Ruth.]

oh my god!!

I would never snoop through someones stuff like that, you defintitely have a right to be angry!

Complete invasion of privacy.

 

[Vicm]

I haven't spoken to her. I was so shocked when he told me I didn't know what to say. It is only really since I went on maternity last Wednesday that I considered going around and realised I just cant. It has been niggling away at me, but the more I think about it the more angry I get. They have 2 children and I am godmother to both so we are close and they know me really well. I honestly thought he would have more respect than this

 

[iWitch]

Soooo f-ing rude! I would be furious

 

[Chezza]

The problem is, if you don't nip it in the bud now, it may get harder and harder to face him.

I think you are more than entitled to take him to one side, explain how you feel and tell him he was totally out of order for doing what he did.

Would it be easier to talk to your friend first, then him...? xx

 

[Holizabeth90]

I think this is horrendous. Going through someone's phone is the same as rooting through someone's drawers and both are incredibly rude. Only to be made worse by the fact he has let himself in on something that is supposed to be private and intimate between you and your OH - I would rate it almost as bad as finding photographs you wouldn't want someone to see.

Disgusting. You have every right to be highly pee'd off. x

 

[Vicm]

So glad I'm not over reacting. I haven't spoken to my oh as it actually makes me feel like I have betrayed him too because no one else was supposed to know out names. Knowing my friend as well as I do I have a strong feeling she will brush it under the carpet as don't think she will understand why I'm so upset. It's the one thing I have kept from anyone. I even told her and her husband I was pregnant before anyone else!

I think in going to have to say something, I'm just not the confrontational type and don't really know where to start.

 

[Lauren84]

I'd be so angry! How dare he go through your phone.

You have every right to be upset about it xx

 

[BeeSmall]

I'd be so angry, I'd definitely mention it to your friend, that's so out of order x

 

[holly1]

owe this has angered me!!! I would have to say something hun otherwise it would niggle at me until I did. I think he has an absolute cheek, one to even consider doing it in the first place is bad enough but to actually go through it and then tell you like its some sort of achievement.

Awe sorry rant over. Hope you manage to get it out your system hun x

 

[Jayjay027]

Omg! How dare he go through your phone! Would he like you going through his personal property?!
I'd have to say something to either him or ur friend as he needs to know that what he did was just not acceptable!!

Tapatalking from my blackberry!

 

[Baby Bean]

Omg that's awful! Definitely not over reacting, I'd be fuming xxx

 

[LeaAnn]

You are definitely not over reacting! That is a diabolical thing for him to do, and to say I fouls be fuming would be an understatement. You should tell your OH though, as sounds like your friends husband will, if you don't x

 

[Doodles]

I'd be bloody raging! I would have gone a little phsyco on him if I'm honest & it would have been justified in my opinion if you had have done! We've done the same, as everyone kept ridiculing our name choices (or pinching them in the case of our girls names!) so we decided to tell them bugger all until the babies born (much to my mother's annoyance though my Nan has agreed with us). Have you told your friend what he did? I hope she's making his life a bloody misery about it x

 

[Doodles]

Asked hubby, his response "as a human being no, as a bloke, deffinately no. It's just bizzare bloody behaviour. Weirdo's" x

 

[Vicm]

I haven't told anyone. I know he told her though as he said 'we know'. I was just too shocked at the time, really didn't know what to say. I just got up and walked to kitchen where my friend was. Their kids were up and if I'd started not sure i would have stopped. I just can't understand how anyone can be so disrespectful, especially someone who is a friend.

So glad you all agree with me and I'm not over reacting x

 

[Kelly450]

Oh my goodness. Thats terrible. I would be extremely peed off! Xx

Sent from my GT-I9300

 

[Pippa1703]

I wouldve slapped him, or at least found it very hard not to. Id have expected my friend to back me up too. It does need to be sorted though. He might still be thinking he's got away with it and thats ok! Id at least send atxt saying "ive wanted to come and see you but you should both know that im extremely upset and offended that youd think it was ok to go through my personal notes when you knew so clearly it was information I didnt want to share"
Actually id probably swear a lot more than that! What a massive bellend!

 

[giz]

Wow. I don't think it matters what the information is, having a nose at someone's phone is well out of order.

It's weird that he would admit to doing so. Do they really know the names? Or is he trying to trick you into saying?



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baby giz born 6th Feb 2011
next one due 12th Aug 2013