Worried I have PND- I just dont seem to care enough.

Discussion in 'Health, Beauty & Dieting' started by shadow, Jun 6, 2008.

  1. shadow

    shadow Well-Known Member

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    I'm worried that I am either a very very bad mother, or i am suffering form PND.

    The reason i say this is because I (and this is so difficukt for me to write down) dont seem to like my LO. Whenever he cries, all i can think is "god not again", like he's doing it just to wind me up. i know he's not he's just a baby. When he's having a particularly bad day, I kinda wish i didnt have him. :( I feel so awful for saying that. I only just realised about it, as i was reading a post about another member having to give up their dogs, and i thought to myself it would be harder parting with my dogs than it would my baby. What kind of mother am i to think such a thing. i feel awful, but dont know what to do. i really dont think I could tell my GP this as he'd think I'm awful.

    Also I feel like I'm just going through the motions with him, being a pretend mother. Nothing seems to matter to me or get through to me. i feel like the baby prefers his Dad, and doesnt like me much. He smiles for his dad all the time, and just frowns at me, I feel resentful of the LO, and its killing me inside.

    Does it sound like PND, or am I just horrible, bad person, and unfit mother?
     
  2. Jade&Evie

    Jade&Evie Well-Known Member

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    :hug: :hug: :hug:

    Talk to your HV- thats what they are for hun. :hug:

    Having a baby is stressful- We all have moments where we want to tear our hair out! :hug:
     
  3. beanie

    beanie Well-Known Member

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    TBH when I read your other post about friends I did wonder as it sounded just like me after the birth of my first,and how you have described yourself above is how I felt.Please speak toyour HVordoctor.There is somuch help and you will get better

    pm me if you need a chat
     
  4. Penstraze

    Penstraze Well-Known Member

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    Does sound like PND you should definately speak to your HV or GP no one would judge you on it, its a medical condition it does not make you a bad mother! The sooner you talk to someone the sooner you can get help to feeling happier again! :hug: :hug:
     
  5. mrs_tommo22

    mrs_tommo22 Well-Known Member

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    What you have just said describes my feelings 100% how i felt towards stephen when he was born - its a shit way too feel, and you feel guilty awful and the crying bit is thr worst because i used to think please stfu - looking back i feel terrible - but I was ill and not having PND with my daughter. I know how different i was.

    [Please speak to your health visitor or doctor and ask them for help, dont be fobbed off. Its a serious condition that shouldnt be taken lightly.

    Good luck and hand the baby to your partner more so you can have you time.
     
  6. Snuggle

    Snuggle Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like PND to me hun. I was like this, I would get so angry with Maddison when she cried and would shout and swear and tell hubby I was leaving etc :( Go see your doc hun :hug:
     
  7. Urchin

    Urchin Well-Known Member

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    I agree it sounds like it to me 100%
    Ask for help, your HV will understand totally, that's why they are there... to support you and help you through this.

    You will be a great mum, don't worry about that :hug:
     
  8. LucyBee

    LucyBee Well-Known Member

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    I agree it sounds like PND to me.
    I had PND. Talk to your HV asap. They are used to it and will have seen lots of cases. My HV recognised it before I did although I think I was in a bit of denial. She was so supportive and I got lots of help and advice which helped me recover.
    PND is an illness. It's not your fault. You will be a GREAT Mummy but you owe it to yourself and to your little baba to get it sorted so you feel better soon. PM me any time. Lucyx
     
  9. beth3735

    beth3735 Well-Known Member

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    Hi hun, You are not a bad mummy at all for feeling like this and I would say from experience that it is PND.

    I had my 1st DD no probs, Treated her like a little princess but I got pregnant when she was 8 months and from that moment on I resented my 2nd DD. It honestly took me until she was about 11 months to bond with her. Even now and she is 3 I wonder why she is such hard work, Its her age I know, But i never feel bad about my 1st DD.

    Please speak with someone asap as I honestly since Joseph has been born been feeling very guilty at how I never liked Teagan. I feel like I didnt love her, which is upsetting to say. I know what you mean about you just doing the daily motions of raising him, But please speak with someone, Its such a shame to miss out on all these early baby bits :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  10. kelly85

    kelly85 Member

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    Deffo PND, I felt exact same way...like my DD wasnt even mine, n that i was useless. I got help n went on antidepressants and was fine after that. U have to spk to HV or GP as soon as poss because ur missing out on ur baby. I feel like Ill never get back those first couple of months, and it even makes me want another baby for that sole reason.
    Good luck, and u r completely normal. X
     
  11. Miss.Monroe

    Miss.Monroe Well-Known Member

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    the best part of your post is that you have realised it! it was very brave of you to post, i think id be too chicken if i was feeling this way. sending you hugs. :hug:
     
  12. lea m

    lea m Well-Known Member

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    I agree with Miss Monroe!
    I had PND and I would have been to afraid to make a post like this so that is great news! Its the start of a battle but you will win! Your not a bad mum! I hope you get the help you deserve soon! :hug: :hug:
     
  13. Eveadel

    Eveadel Well-Known Member

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    Hiya

    I felt exactly the same as you and I know for sure now that it was PND. I felt better once she was over 1. My anxiety rocketed once she was born aswell. Im ok now. How old is your LO?

    I felt and still do feel guilty that I do not have much patience.

    Have you spoken to your HV or GP? There are herbal remedies available to help lift your mood.
     
  14. Red_Fairy

    Red_Fairy Well-Known Member

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    i felt exactly the same with hannah for the first few months (maybe up to 5-6 months) - i loved her dont get me wrong, but i found it hard, and dont think i bonded easily with her.
    I kinda got it dianosed but being pregnant again, my life was so busy, i couldnt take pills, and councilling didnt appeal either.

    I dont know when it happened exactly, but deffinatly within the last 6 months i have bonded AMAZINGLY with hannah - and now we are unseprable...(i cant wait for her to get up every morning so we can go play!) i think it just took time for me to adapt, alot longer then most mums.

    And if im completly honest... im not 100% bonded with Emily yet. She has colic and is a cryer, and with my hands full with hannah - lifes hard work. I dont feel i need help medicaly - i just need time :)
     
  15. leckershell

    leckershell Well-Known Member

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    I felt the same and made several pretty bad posts. I did have PND and went to a support group, but was always prone to depression anyway. I think I'm alright now PND wise, just a bit depressed every now and again as usual, but I had it pretty rubbish at the time. You're not an unfit mother, I bet a lot of us have felt the same way, and you wrote what I was too scared to write... I wrote about problems with my OH mostly but what you wrote I felt too and didn't want anybody to think badly of me. Well done you, hope you get some answers from your HV/GP. xx
     
  16. Red_Fairy

    Red_Fairy Well-Known Member

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    I'd also like to add that it gets so much easier when they get older. People always told me that when they start walking 'thats when it gets hard' - yes it does, but not incoparrsen to looking after a 4 month old, YOU get soooooooooooooooooo much back (maybe im a selfish person becuase of this) but when they start interacting with you, playing with you, doing things 'they find funny' (hannah likes putting random objects on her head and walking round with a silly expression on, also if ya watching the telly she creeps up and bends her neck sidways (her head) so its IN YOU FACE!!!) and then laughs hystericly (cos she knows you cant see what your looking at)

    ALL this makes all the hard times ive had with her disapear.


    I hope your alright hun :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
     

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