worried how 9 year old will cope with new baby??

[babybump2]

hello.

i am pregnant with my 2nd child, due in april.

my daughter will be 10 by the time the baby arrives and i am worried how she will be, im very worried about her feeling left out as she has been the only child for 9 years and we have a very close mother and daughter relationship.

does anyone have any advice?

thanks

 

[chickadee1976]

No advice but im in the same situation. Cameron will be 10 when baby arrives and although im not worried about him being jealous as he is fabby, he is worried that he wont know what to do with the baby and that it wont like him. He is a complete over analyser just like me and i worry about him

 

[CoreysMummy]

I was 8 when my brother came along. I coped ok, id been thru a split up and divorce with my mum, a re-marrage and now a little brother. We were very close.

Let your daughter help out, she will love it. It was like having my own real life doll. I loved it, and I love him now more than anything (well, DS not included there)!!

it could go one way or the other I guess, sorry I cant be of more help xx

 

[mamichuli]

Well, If my DS is anything to go by, it is a great age difference! He adores his lil sister and they have a nine year gap (Ani is one and Vic is ten). Victor also worried, like Cameron, that his new sister wouldnt like him in fact, he sometimes still worries that she doesnt love him.
He is really devoted and they are very close. Because of the huge difference, Vic is old enough to understand her needs and frustrations, so it works quite well.

dont worry, it will be fine!



Lisa

 

[Emma58]

George was 12 when sam came along and he has been great he is really helpful. He has seemed to adapt to having a baby brother really well.

Like you I was really concerned that he would be jealous after being an only child for 12 years but i needn't have worried.

He is old enough to help me with little things like entertaining him whilst i get on with other things, and giving him a bottle if i am busy.

And best of all Sam idolises his big brother too!

 

[mum's the word]

Liam was 8 when Ricky arrived (different dads). I was worried how he'd react as he'd been the centre of everyone's world, 1st grandchild both sides and lots of quality time with dad on weekends with my undivided attention too in the years I was single. I needn't have worried-he's been brilliant, he instantly bonded with him, can't do enough to help me and plays with Ricky for ages every day. The only advice I can give is to make sure you have plenty of stories about when your daughter was a baby ready to tell her, Liam watches me with Ricky and often asks 'did you do that with me? and 'did I like it when you changed my nappy/sang to me etc'. A few weeks before the birth get all the photo's of her out and have a long chat about them, and tell her how excited you were about her arrival and how special evrtything was, this won't only make her feel secure it will subconsciously help her to understand how the first months will be with the new baby taking up a lot of your time.
You'll be amazed how grown up she seems and how considerate she can be, i can't imagine life any different now.

 

[helsekia]

i agree with the other ladies.my daughter was 7 years old when I had my son.my daughter was the centre of our world and her grandparents.i explained how the baby was growing etc and answered all her questions.i let her help me choose sleepsuits,toys,clothes etc ready for when baby was here and i even took her along to my 20wk scan and also a couple of midwife appts.she was very well prepared for the arrival.i made sure she was the first person apart from me and OH to hold baby after he was born,i explained how to hold him etc and when she asked to hold him i tried to accomodate.we keep on telling her how she is a brilliant big sister.we never buy one without buying the other something,and we make sure we spend individual time with both of them,all toys are for sharing not his n hers,we let her join in bathing him etc if she wants to but never force her therefore she feels its on her terms.she loves being a big sister,she loves feeding him and playing with him and he in turn adores her!she likes nothing better than showing her little brother off.

 

[Tillytots]

I was a bit younger when my first brother came along, I was 5, nearly 6 but I LOVED it. I loved feeling grown up and helping Mummy with OUR new baby He was mine too. My Mum got me very involved with him, I helped out with his first bath, helped steralise the bottles, got him dressed and fed him etc so that way I didnt feel left out at all

 

[scones]

Im reading this thread with great interest too, I will have my 2nc child in may 09 when my lad will be 8 years old an i too am worried how he will be having been the only one for all his life! however he is a clever boy and now is starting to be independent, playing in his room etc, so in theory he doesnt demand so much of my time as he did when he was small. Great hearing all your stories and its reassuring to know that Im not the only one with a fairly large age gap.