worried about OH

meggymum

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hi all

I have to ask your advice on something.
Yesterday OH had a day off, only the second since LO was born, so we had a chance to spend the day together. It was lovely, we just chilled out at home, watched some of our programmes that we hadn't had a chance to catch up on, and a movie. He was very loving and i thought everything was good.

however, last night he slept in the front room as he had an early start for work. he came into the bedroom late last night looking very sad. he said he is struggling with his life at the moment and doesnt know what to do, and that he feels suffocated by work and home and now the baby is here its even worse, even though he loves us both to bits. he said he is really trying at the moment but is so sad.

he then went back to bed after we had a chat and a cuddle, but i cried myself to sleep. i desperately want to help him as i dont want to lose him, but i have no idea what to do. i dont think he would go to counselling if i suggested it, but i am desperate to help him. sound like the mens version of baby blues?

any ideas?
 
Would he visit the gp? x


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Yes men can get a form of postnatal depression hun, i would advise you to get him to speak to his GP asap as the longer you leave it the harder it will make things. Hope he goes and gets sorted, remind him tho its perfectly normal for a man to feel like that as some men have it in their heads its not manly to be emotional. Hope you get sorted hunny xx
 
Sounds like a bit of pnd :( maybe just go to gp with him and see what they say x

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Men def get pnd and baby blues too. It's hard for them too, sometimes more so as we have 9 months to mentally prepare, we become a mum the day we get our BFP whereas they become a dad once baby arrives and can be a massive shock for them. Just let him know you understand and are there for him to talk to about his feelings, getting it all out can help massively and knowing your there to support him. Often men feel pushed out too so make sure you can spend time together or they feel like they might be failing as a father in some way. It's a shame he's not had proper paternity leave as men also need bonding time. Try and get him to do things for baby like a bath, changes etc and never underestimate skin to skin contact with daddy too, just sitting cuddling baby will be good for both of them. Is is possible he could have a few days off work, even as sick to properly spend time with the both of you?
 
no i dont think he would go to the GP, he is very stubborn about things like this! and he wont take time off work as he only gets paid for days he works and soon the work may slow down for the winter.

he did seem a little happier when he got home from work tpday, so i guess i will have to hope he will be ok.
 
I think it's really great that he's actually taken the first step of discussing with you, and letting you in on how he's feeling. Not a lot of men would be able to do that. Possibly him offloading his feelings helped him a wee bit and that's why he's been in a better mood.

It may be just that he feels overwhelmed with everything, but the more you're both open with each other about your feelings, the better you both will be able to work through it. Hope you both are ok :hug: x
 

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