Worried about having sex...

[PeanutButter]

Hi,
Well because of my mc last time I'm trying to avoid anything sexual! My hubby understands and isn't pushing me. Last time after a O I went to the loo and had bleed went to A&E they sent us to EPU they done a scan and said everything was fine, couple days after that I had another O and again another bleed but heavier than the first so went back to EPU they done another scan and HB was there so I thought that was just left over bleeding from IB or something so again carried on as normal had a other O no blood that day, went to the loo next morning and the bleeding was really heavy and pain was so bad, i had to wait for hubby to get home from work before going to A&E. (We didn't have intercourse during the time I was pregnant)

So basically I said when we get pregnant again im not doing anything sexual until after 12 week scan. I have a very low sex drive since ov anyway so that's good, but recently I have been 'in the mood' and I really don't want to do anything, we definitely will not be having intercourse at any point during the pregnancy (i suffered with vaginismus for 5 years (unable to control my muscles down below, which meant I was unable to have sex/insert anything) and still sometimes get it, so I really doubt I'd be able to even if i wanted to.

I feel bad for hubby having to put up with me, he keeps telling me it wasn't because we done stuff that i had a mc, but I'm trying to avoid anything I think might have caused it, brushing my teeth 4 times a day, washing my hands every 5 mins, will not go near the cat litter, wiping the dogs over with pet wipes when they come in from outside, not wearing tight trousers, just silly stuff which I know is silly but I can't not do it if you get me.

Any advice is much appreciated xx

 

[scn]

I think you already know that it wasn't anything you did or didn't do that caused your mc last time.
Having sex is fine unless advised not to by your doctor but if you don't feel comfortable doing it then don't. You can still satisfy your husband without gratification for yourself if you feel the need.

 

[PeanutButter]

Half of me is like dont be silly ofc that never caused it, then the other half is like yeah but what if it was and it might happen again so you better not, just incase.
Meh

 

[russellmuscle]

We had sex for the first time since after OV, I was nervous after my mc but we took it easy and it was amazing.

Go for it its good to keep the intimacy going.

xxxx

 

[andreatav]

I've not had a mc, but I understand the worry, me and oh carried on having sex as normal up until about 18/19 weeks as it just became uncomfortable. He obviously misses been intimate but I still try to make sure he's satisfied as my sex drive has dropped anyway xx

 

[Kholl]

My sex drive overall is pretty high, but during pregnancy it's on a whole new level- I'm insatiable. So that might happen for you too! Anyway, I have never avoided sex during pregnancy before. But this pregnancy (my third) I have had a couple spotting incidents (one a couple days after intercourse) that have left me so freaked out that I'm avoiding intercourse until I'm after 12 weeks. But second tri onwards all bets are off. Pregnancy sex is my favorite part!

 

[Lander]

I've held off a bit for similar reasons, we've still dtd a few times but I've also just given DH 'a helping hand' once or twice as well.

 

[Holsf]

I feel the same. I feel like I want to wait till I get to 12 weeks, I don't have a very high sex drive anyway but feel a bit bad for my oh! X