Worried about giving birth again. Tips?

[Firsttimemumx]

So with my daughter I was 10 days over due. Labour started after a successful sweep. From first contraction to birth was 36 hours. I laboured at Home for 29 hours then went to hospital. I was 4cm dilated (I was 1-2cm when I had my sweep 2 days earlier) I was dealing well with contractions. Had gas and air around 32 hours in. Started to get exhausted, baby’s heartbeat was dropping. Hadn’t slept for around 43 hours, barely ate or drank etc. Contractions were very strong (had been 5 minutes apart since first contraction) I was in agony, projectile vomiting etc. My body was telling me to push but I wasn’t 10cm this caused baby to twist inside me causing her to be even more distressed and heartbeat dropping more. I requested epidural which took 5 attempts to go in. This enabled me 45 minutes sleep before being awoken and told the baby needs to come now, no time to take me to theatre. I was given hormone drip to speed contractions, cut and forceps within a few pushes she arrived back to back with the cord around her neck not breathing. She had pooed during labour so was a risk of meconium harming her lungs etc. She eventually took a breathe after a minute or so. I lost 2 litres of blood due to the cut and needed a blood transfusion. I was stitched with one continuous stitch which popped open a few days later and completely unwravelled leaving a gape where I was cut. I was left to heal from the inside out as they don’t restitch due to risk of stitching infections in. The healing process afterwards was very long and painful.

I’m really worried about giving birth again. Particularly being cut. Does anyone know if being cut for second births is more common if you was cut for your first? Any tips on how to reduce need for episiotomys? I found the birth very traumatising and I feel that I may have been in the verge of depression and definitely feel like I suffered with PTSD for some time which has been creeping back a bit since I’ve been worrying about having to go through this again. Any one have any positive stories of birth after a traumatic birth previously?

 

[Elspeth]

So sorry to hear about your traumatic time first time around.
And that your stitches popped. That's sounds horrendous. I hope it healed up OK in the end.

I can't say I had a traumatic birth first time, but I was induced and ended up with the doctors getting her out in a hurry due to the heart rate dropping. I had an episiotomy that extended in to a second degree tear. Thanks to an epidural I was quite oblivious to what was going on but I still shudder when I think of those scissors.

This time I really wanted a more positive natural birth which I had.

In preparation then I did spinning babies daily exercises to try and help baby in to the right position and avoid a back to back baby. I kept good posture for months and didn't slouch on a sofa or cross my legs for 3 months.

I found Ina May's guide to childbirth really really helpful. It empowered me and made me trust my body could do it.

In terms of avoiding tearing Ina May advises keeping your bottom relaxed and this is helped by keeping your mouth and throat relaxed.

I think avoiding a medicalised setting is also really helpful.

My episiotomy did open up a bit as I birthed a large baby. But it was nothing compared to last time and I had a few stitches and minimal discomfort for a week.

Since you have laboured before things should progress much more quickly.
How long have you got to go?
Wishing you the best of luck. It's been really healing for me getting the birth I had wanted.

Xxx

 

[candymycandy]

I also had a traumatic first birth. Won't go into details but our stories are quite similar and i think I also had/have PTSD as a result. Baby 2 is due 1/12. Needless to say I'm petrified of the birth and have had no support from my mw. I'm trying to listen more to hypnobirthing stuff and also plan on drinking raspberry leaf tea which is supposed to aid labour (have a google if not familiar). Have you thought about perineal massage? I cannot do it due to complications from that birth but it's supposed to help reduce need for episiotomy etc. Have you talked to your MW or HV about how you're feeling?x
x

 

[Firsttimemumx]

Thank you for your reply Elspeth, I’m not due until march so a long way to go but feel the earlier I think about it the more prepared I’ll be. I’m hoping this labour is a lot quicker. I worry about having to spend so much time in labour, in hospital (I had a 3 day stay last time) and in pain after with a toddler as well! You’ve reassured me as another worry was if I didn’t have to be cut would it open and I’m glad it didn’t cause you much pain/discomfort. Hopefully all the worry is for nothing!

Hi Candymycandy, thanks for your reply I’m planning on speaking to my midwife on my appointment on Monday to see what she says. It’s a shame your midwife hasn’t been supportive I’m hoping mine will be. I too am considering hypno birthing and a water birth as I’ve heard that means less chance of tearing etc as the water softens the skin. I’ll ask her if perineal massage is an option for me. I read about it before my previous birth but didn’t try in the end. Xx

 

[Rainbow1234]

I'm not pregnant again but I just wanted to say my first birth sounded so like yours and I know when the times does come again I'll feel like you! I was projectile vomiting in labour too with the pain and eventually had an epidural (fortunately went in ok), baby's heart rate dropped, I was cut and had a forceps delivery. After I got home my stitch(es?) popped and I was left to heal too, it was agony, I couldn't walk, couldn't bend down to change a nappy and just kept bursting into tears. I don't have any advice but I understand how you feel. I hope this time is ok x

 

[BunnyN]

My mum had an awful first birth and long healing process. She was so traumatised by and the hospital care she was given it she decided to try a home birth the next time. Every birth is different so it may be a totally different experience. I was in established labour for 27 hrs with my first (38 from first contraction). 10 hrs with my second (despite him being a wopping 11lbs) and only a couple hrs with my third. I tore with my first and the stitches came out. The MW said that actually helped me out in my other births because it had made a little space.

 

[Firsttimemumx]

I'm not pregnant again but I just wanted to say my first birth sounded so like yours and I know when the times does come again I'll feel like you! I was projectile vomiting in labour too with the pain and eventually had an epidural (fortunately went in ok), baby's heart rate dropped, I was cut and had a forceps delivery. After I got home my stitch(es?) popped and I was left to heal too, it was agony, I couldn't walk, couldn't bend down to change a nappy and just kept bursting into tears. I don't have any advice but I understand how you feel. I hope this time is ok x

Thank you for your reply, although it’s horrible that someone else has had to go through this I really appreciate your response and knowing I’m not alone x

 

[Firsttimemumx]

My mum had an awful first birth and long healing process. She was so traumatised by and the hospital care she was given it she decided to try a home birth the next time. Every birth is different so it may be a totally different experience. I was in established labour for 27 hrs with my first (38 from first contraction). 10 hrs with my second (despite him being a wopping 11lbs) and only a couple hrs with my third. I tore with my first and the stitches came out. The MW said that actually helped me out in my other births because it had made a little space.

Thank you for your reply It’s nice to hear that they get quicker fingers crossed mine will too!! X

 

[Wishing84]

I had a similar experience and ended up with a episiotomy and a third degree tear. I had to go to theatre to be stitched and have received some damage to the muscle. I am also pregnant again. Not due until April. I have spoken with my midwife who said that I will go for an appointment with a midwife who specialises in this sort of thing and then they will decide the best route to take. I think for me it will mean a c section. I am fine with that option as I don’t want any further damage to be caused.

Have you spoken with your midwife about your options?

 

[Firsttimemumx]

I had a similar experience and ended up with a episiotomy and a third degree tear. I had to go to theatre to be stitched and have received some damage to the muscle. I am also pregnant again. Not due until April. I have spoken with my midwife who said that I will go for an appointment with a midwife who specialises in this sort of thing and then they will decide the best route to take. I think for me it will mean a c section. I am fine with that option as I don’t want any further damage to be caused.

Have you spoken with your midwife about your options?

I haven’t actually spoken to my midwife yet about it she doesn’t really do the whole ‘any worries’ etc yet so I think at my next appointment when I’m 24 weeks I’ll being it up if she doesn’t ask. I didn’t realise you could have appointments to discuss options etc when things like this have happened. I wasnt able to be taken to theatre as they hit a blood vessel leading to a massive bloodless They needed to stitch me there and then to stop bleeding.. im quite worried that if I tear naturally even if I don’t need to have an episiotomy then they same thing could happen. I hope I get the chance to discuss options too. Good luck with your appointment

 

[Wishing84]

I had a similar experience and ended up with a episiotomy and a third degree tear. I had to go to theatre to be stitched and have received some damage to the muscle. I am also pregnant again. Not due until April. I have spoken with my midwife who said that I will go for an appointment with a midwife who specialises in this sort of thing and then they will decide the best route to take. I think for me it will mean a c section. I am fine with that option as I don’t want any further damage to be caused.

Have you spoken with your midwife about your options?

I haven’t actually spoken to my midwife yet about it she doesn’t really do the whole ‘any worries’ etc yet so I think at my next appointment when I’m 24 weeks I’ll being it up if she doesn’t ask. I didn’t realise you could have appointments to discuss options etc when things like this have happened. I wasnt able to be taken to theatre as they hit a blood vessel leading to a massive bloodless They needed to stitch me there and then to stop bleeding.. im quite worried that if I tear naturally even if I don’t need to have an episiotomy then they same thing could happen. I hope I get the chance to discuss options too. Good luck with your appointment

My midwife said they will scan the scar tissue also to assess the damage. Definitely mention your concerns. They are there to help and if you had a traumatic birth this should be discussed. Good luck.

 

[russellmuscle]

I had a similar experience and ended up with a episiotomy and a third degree tear. I had to go to theatre to be stitched and have received some damage to the muscle. I am also pregnant again. Not due until April. I have spoken with my midwife who said that I will go for an appointment with a midwife who specialises in this sort of thing and then they will decide the best route to take. I think for me it will mean a c section. I am fine with that option as I don’t want any further damage to be caused.

Have you spoken with your midwife about your options?

I haven’t actually spoken to my midwife yet about it she doesn’t really do the whole ‘any worries’ etc yet so I think at my next appointment when I’m 24 weeks I’ll being it up if she doesn’t ask. I didn’t realise you could have appointments to discuss options etc when things like this have happened. I wasnt able to be taken to theatre as they hit a blood vessel leading to a massive bloodless They needed to stitch me there and then to stop bleeding.. im quite worried that if I tear naturally even if I don’t need to have an episiotomy then they same thing could happen. I hope I get the chance to discuss options too. Good luck with your appointment

My midwife said they will scan the scar tissue also to assess the damage. Definitely mention your concerns. They are there to help and if you had a traumatic birth this should be discussed. Good luck.

I agree with this.

Sorry to hear about your truly traumatic delivery I was scared but not to this level and it's understandable. I'm suprised they haven't brought it up to you already!

I believe (could be wrong) that cases like this is enough ground for an elective c sec. Obviously not everyone's choice of birth I haven't had one
But if I did have a birth like yours it deffo be an option for me second time as with every delivery can be different that's not to say you aren't at risk.

I did need cut both labours. Had 2nd degree tears and a labia tear with my second as he was bigger. Healing was about same as first.

Someone I know had an elective csec because she had a fear of birthing. She hadnt had any past labours to judge from. I'd say your worth mentioning it to MW and see what they have to say. If not have a wee read at the NICE guidelines for further info on NHS elective c secs.

Good luck!

xxxx

 

[Firsttimemumx]

I had a similar experience and ended up with a episiotomy and a third degree tear. I had to go to theatre to be stitched and have received some damage to the muscle. I am also pregnant again. Not due until April. I have spoken with my midwife who said that I will go for an appointment with a midwife who specialises in this sort of thing and then they will decide the best route to take. I think for me it will mean a c section. I am fine with that option as I don’t want any further damage to be caused.

Have you spoken with your midwife about your options?

I haven’t actually spoken to my midwife yet about it she doesn’t really do the whole ‘any worries’ etc yet so I think at my next appointment when I’m 24 weeks I’ll being it up if she doesn’t ask. I didn’t realise you could have appointments to discuss options etc when things like this have happened. I wasnt able to be taken to theatre as they hit a blood vessel leading to a massive bloodless They needed to stitch me there and then to stop bleeding.. im quite worried that if I tear naturally even if I don’t need to have an episiotomy then they same thing could happen. I hope I get the chance to discuss options too. Good luck with your appointment

My midwife said they will scan the scar tissue also to assess the damage. Definitely mention your concerns. They are there to help and if you had a traumatic birth this should be discussed. Good luck.

You sound like you have a really lovely midwife. I’ll be sure to bring it up next time and hopefully my midwife is as helpful as yours. Thank you for your advice

 

[Firsttimemumx]

I had a similar experience and ended up with a episiotomy and a third degree tear. I had to go to theatre to be stitched and have received some damage to the muscle. I am also pregnant again. Not due until April. I have spoken with my midwife who said that I will go for an appointment with a midwife who specialises in this sort of thing and then they will decide the best route to take. I think for me it will mean a c section. I am fine with that option as I don’t want any further damage to be caused.

Have you spoken with your midwife about your options?

I haven’t actually spoken to my midwife yet about it she doesn’t really do the whole ‘any worries’ etc yet so I think at my next appointment when I’m 24 weeks I’ll being it up if she doesn’t ask. I didn’t realise you could have appointments to discuss options etc when things like this have happened. I wasnt able to be taken to theatre as they hit a blood vessel leading to a massive bloodless They needed to stitch me there and then to stop bleeding.. im quite worried that if I tear naturally even if I don’t need to have an episiotomy then they same thing could happen. I hope I get the chance to discuss options too. Good luck with your appointment

My midwife said they will scan the scar tissue also to assess the damage. Definitely mention your concerns. They are there to help and if you had a traumatic birth this should be discussed. Good luck.

I agree with this.

Sorry to hear about your truly traumatic delivery I was scared but not to this level and it's understandable. I'm suprised they haven't brought it up to you already!

I believe (could be wrong) that cases like this is enough ground for an elective c sec. Obviously not everyone's choice of birth I haven't had one
But if I did have a birth like yours it deffo be an option for me second time as with every delivery can be different that's not to say you aren't at risk.

I did need cut both labours. Had 2nd degree tears and a labia tear with my second as he was bigger. Healing was about same as first.

Someone I know had an elective csec because she had a fear of birthing. She hadnt had any past labours to judge from. I'd say your worth mentioning it to MW and see what they have to say. If not have a wee read at the NICE guidelines for further info on NHS elective c secs.

Good luck!

xxxx

Hiya thank you for replying, yeah I’m surprised they haven’t too if I’m honest I’m not sure they’ve even bothered to look at my previous notes. I definitely think I need to look at my options and have it all explained to me by a professional too. I’ll push for this to happen! Thank you

 

[BunnyN]

My mum had an awful first birth and long healing process. She was so traumatised by and the hospital care she was given it she decided to try a home birth the next time. Every birth is different so it may be a totally different experience. I was in established labour for 27 hrs with my first (38 from first contraction). 10 hrs with my second (despite him being a wopping 11lbs) and only a couple hrs with my third. I tore with my first and the stitches came out. The MW said that actually helped me out in my other births because it had made a little space.

Thank you for your reply It’s nice to hear that they get quicker fingers crossed mine will too!! X

Sorry and I forgot to say my mum had a great birth experience the second time. Its the unknown that is so hard, especially when you have had such an awful experience but it can help to know plenty of women have had a good experience after a bad one.

 

[Firsttimemumx]

My mum had an awful first birth and long healing process. She was so traumatised by and the hospital care she was given it she decided to try a home birth the next time. Every birth is different so it may be a totally different experience. I was in established labour for 27 hrs with my first (38 from first contraction). 10 hrs with my second (despite him being a wopping 11lbs) and only a couple hrs with my third. I tore with my first and the stitches came out. The MW said that actually helped me out in my other births because it had made a little space.

Thank you for your reply It’s nice to hear that they get quicker fingers crossed mine will too!! X

Sorry and I forgot to say my mum had a great birth experience the second time. Its the unknown that is so hard, especially when you have had such an awful experience but it can help to know plenty of women have had a good experience after a bad one.

Thank you that’s really useful to know