Will worrying affect pregnancy?

[MariaIsabella]

Hi ladies. Just wanted to hear your thought on stress/anxiety during pregnancy. Sorry long post.

It took us a long time to get pregnant ( had a MC as well + bad cells in my endometrium which required several surgeries ) and finally got pregnant through IVF. I am 38 as well which put a little extra stress on me.

Because of this I have been quite anxious through my pregnancy so far. I am happy most of the time ( except first trimester when I was so sick ) but I am so sensitive and get all worked up and cry over them smallest most stupid things, I worry about foods I can eat, things I put on my skin and other things that I do that might cause harm to the baby. I worry about hurting the baby so much!

Will all this worry affect the baby? I am definitely not depressed and I can concentrate at work and meet friends etc. so it doesn't affect my social life but its more my mind that goes. I don't want my worry to affect the baby!

What doesn't help is my sister who just got pregnant her first month without protection so first attempt! Very happy for her but she annoys me a little since she doesn't care about anything.. at least she wants to come across that way. When I say I want to avoid certain takeaway food she just grabs a tuna and mayo sandwich and says she doesn't care. She started to bleed the other day ( which thank god turned out fine ) and she didn't even seem bothered about that! I'm sure its because she knows she gets pregnant only looking at her boyfriend but it makes me feel like I am a nutcase!

Sorry for the rant but having one of those days and hope I am not alone.. xx

 

[flexilexi394]

Hey!

I know it's easier said than done, but you don't need to worry. It doesn't directly harm the baby, but of course the less you worry the happier the baby is. You've got to remember when baby arrives, if you then continue to worry and stress, the baby will pick up on it and in turn be worried and stressed so try and train yourself to relax. It's easier said than done I know. Focus on the positives and how the count down is flying by! Xxxxx

 

[MariaIsabella]

Thanks, I do try to relax by meditation and massage but my past history of infertility and mc is affecting me since I so badly want this baby! Surely I cant be alone feeling like this?

I understand you cant stress around your baby when born and I don't come across as a stressed person but I am scared sometimes and hormones don't help.

xx

 

[flinty84]

Your not alone. I think if you've stuggled you want to do everything by the book. I tried for 9 months, and had 3 mc before I fell with my son, and this time round it took 11 months. A friend of mine decided to 'try' for baby number 2 just before my son was born, and there's 9 months between them. She took folic acid while pregnant but nothing more, she ate what she liked, and even drank. She justified it by saying it was low alcoholic!
The way I looked at it was she didn't know what it was like to want a baby so much, and to go through losses. In her mind everything would turn out fine, and for her it did. But after every mc or every month I came on it was someone was ripping out my heart, so there was no way I was going to do anything that might make me go through that again.
I worried constantly while pregnant with my son, it only went away once I could fell him move, which was around 22 weeks, and even then I'd get home from work, lay on the sofa and would count the kicks, I couldn't feel anything while I was on my feet. He was so relaxed and laid back as a baby, so I don't think I passed my worrying onto him!
This time round every time I get worked up this baby rolls around (I can't feel proper kicks yet) and I take it as a sign that they're telling me to relax a bit!

 

[MariaIsabella]

Thanks! I do believe if you haven't struggled with infertility you will never know how stressful it can be. My sister is lovely so I want everything to go well of course but she can never understand how I feel since she never had to go though it. and I am sure she would be more understanding and act differently if she had.

I do feel much more relaxed now when I can feel her move a little and I am sure I will feel even better after my scan next week. I actually enjoy my pregnancy most of the time and feel great physically and go to the gym etc. I am not so scared I will MC anymore which is good but I still want to make sure the baby is as healthily as possible.

As I write she is having a little workout in my belly

xx

 

[RoisinC]

All I can say is that it's perfectly understandable after everything you've been through it's natural to want to protect something you've wanted badly for so long, don't beat yourself up over it. It took us a year and a half to conceive my daughter and at the time I worked in a VERY stressful environment - everyone used to comment on how bad stress was for the baby etc etc and during my pregnancy I used to wake up in tears in the middle of the night because of the stress I was under..but my daughter was the most relaxed and happy out of all my babies from day one, she still is now and is 9. I'm not saying stress doesn't have an impact, but at end of day you are only human and can't help how you feel - so do what you can to minimise it and try to enjoy this time as it is so precious xx

 

[Browneyed Girl]

I was exactly the same and worried about absolutely everything. I remember ringing a bar late one night to find out what brand their fresh orange juice was as it occurred to me it might have been freshly squeezed and not pasteurised. That set off furious googling when I knew the brand to find out what flash pasteurised was and whether it was safe! There are so many other times I panicked over eating or drinking something that might not have been safe. Skin wise I did use make up but stuck to Simple shower gel with no fragrance and no perfume either. I totally understand how you feel but please be reassured that my baby was born perfectly healthy and happy despite all my stressing and once he was born a lot of my stress disappeared - I think part of the issue is that as a pregnant woman I felt a huge pressure to get it right and keep this baby safe, when he was born it was so much easier as I could see he was ok. You're definitely not the first person to feel like this! Hope this helps xx

 

[MariaIsabella]

Thanks ladies, makes me feel much better. I have my ups and downs but in general I am happy so not that worried. Will try to take a deep breath and relax next time I feel my anxiety comes back! xx