WHY !!!!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by Missy, Jun 18, 2005.

  1. Missy

    Missy Well-Known Member

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    On thursday night (the day after my ultrascan) i was rushed to A&E. I LOST MY BABY I HAD A MISCARRIAGE. i cant take it, i cant stop crying and i just want it all to be over.
    My poor baby :( why ?
    The worst thing is there is still some tissue inside of me, so now im so scared everytime i go to the toilet, waiting for the time when it all comes out.
    im only 15 and since march i have lost my uncle who killed himself, my split up with my boyfriend, my overdose, the pregnancy, and now the miscarraige !
    i wanted this baby more than anything in the world !
    it makes me angry when people just tell me' it werent meant to be' ITS NOT FAIR ! :!: :!: :!: :!: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
     
  2. joan

    joan Well-Known Member

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    There's no answer to that question. It's happened. You've got to try to get through this - for the sake of your family, yourself and your future kids.

    Being 15 is hard enough with just school, family and friends. With what you've been through, you are a hero!

    I'm sending you a hug! Make sure you get them from everyone around you.

    come to the chat room some time!

    http://pregnancyforum.co.uk/cgi-bin/gtchat/chat.pl
     
  3. Sarah W Baby Belly

    Sarah W Baby Belly Well-Known Member

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    Sending my love your way.

    You are really brave. Being a woman can be damn tough sometimes.

    Sending you as many hugs as I can.

    Take time to yourself and let yourself heal in your own time.

    Thinking of you

    Sarah W
     
  4. LucyBee

    LucyBee Well-Known Member

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    Hi Missy,
    I have just miscarried too. It is devastating. I can't stop crying. Apart from the pain and the anxiety everytime I go to the loo, I just feel like all my dreams have ended.
    It's an awful time but there is lots of help and support out there for you. Just search 'miscarriage' on the web and you will be amazed how much information and help there is.
    I am thinking of you.
    Lucyx
     
  5. Guest

    Oh Missy I am so sorry :( I know what you are going through sweetie, I know how hard it is. Try to keep strong. It's not your fault and life can be cruel sometimes. I really hope that you can find comfort insomeone close to you who can help you through this difficult time.

    Thinking of you and sending you hugs, xx
     
  6. JacqWish

    JacqWish Well-Known Member

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    I am so sorry for your loss Missy; I have been thinking about you since I saw your post in first trimester so I thought I would see if you had come here.

    No one can say anything to you that will make the pain go away, but if I can give one piece of advice it would be to speak to someone you are close to, if you don't feel like you can do that, speak to the samaritans. Vent your grief somewhere but don't hold it in. I went through the same thing and I bottled it all up for a long time which was not very healthy.

    When my friend lost her baby she was utterly devastated as well, but a few months afterwards she planted a tree. She said that it was difficult to grieve her loss as of course there was no funeral to go to, or no stone to grieve at, so the tree gave her all that.

    Try and be strong missy, we are all thinking of you.
     
  7. scared 19

    scared 19 Well-Known Member

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    What Makes A Mother

    I thought of you and closed my eyes
    And prayed to God today
    I asked "What makes a Mother?"
    And I know I heard Him say.
    "A Mother has a baby"
    This we know is true
    "But God can you be a Mother,
    When your baby's not with you?"
    "Yes, you can," He replied
    With confidence in His voice
    "I give many women babies,
    When they leave is not their choice.
    Some I send for a lifetime
    And others for the day.
    And some I send to feel your womb,
    But there's no need to stay."
    "I just don't understand this God
    I want my baby to be here."
    He took a deep breath and cleared His throat,
    And then I saw the tear.
    "I wish I could show you,
    What your child is doing today,
    If you could see your child's smile,
    With all the other children and say...
    "We go to Earth to learn our lessons,
    Of love and life and fear.
    My Mommy loved me oh so much,
    I got to come straight here.
    I feel so lucky to have a Mom,
    Who had so much love for me.
    I learned my lessons very quickly,
    My Mommy set me free.
    I miss my Mommy oh so much,
    But I visit her every day.
    When she goes to sleep,
    On her pillow's where I lay.
    I stroke here hair and kiss her cheek,
    And whisper in her ear.
    Mommy don't be sad today,
    I'm your baby and I'm here.
    "So you see my dear sweet ones,
    your children are okay.
    Your babies are born here in My home,
    And this is where they'll stay.
    They'll wait for you with Me,
    Until your lesson's through.
    And on the day that you come home
    they'll be at the gates for you.
    So now you see what makes a Mother,
    It's the feeling in your heart
    it's the love you had so much of
    right from the very start.
    Though some on earth may not realize,
    you are a Mother until their time is done.
    They'll be up here with Me one day
    and know that you are the best one!"


    I found this poem really helped me when i lost my baby i hope it helps you girls too...
    Love and Hugs
    Baby Dust*******
    Thinking of you all

    Liann
     
  8. LucyBee

    LucyBee Well-Known Member

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    What a lovely poem. It made me cry!
    Lucy x
     
  9. scared 19

    scared 19 Well-Known Member

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    Made me cry too!! but i couldnt help loving it xx
     
  10. scared 19

    scared 19 Well-Known Member

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    The dad one too shall i post that one??
     
  11. HayleyB

    HayleyB Well-Known Member

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    Thats just made me cry so much sat in work!!!

    I wanted my baby so much too missy..
    after everything i've been through I really thought that now was my time to be a mum.
    I'm going to wait until next year now to ttc... i know my body's just not ready for it!!!

    *hugs* for you xxxx
     
  12. scared 19

    scared 19 Well-Known Member

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    I didnt mean to make you girls cry even tho it did it to me too i just thought i was lovely and fitted in so well, i really am thinking of all of you i remember how i felt too *HUGZ* to you all

    Liann
     
  13. HayleyB

    HayleyB Well-Known Member

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    It didn't make me cry in a bad way,
    in a good way though,
    its a nice way to think about it.
    Think i'm going to print it off and put it in my memory box,
    and then I can take it out and look at it whenever I feel sad!!!

    Thank you for that....

    Can you post the dad one too?

    xxx
     
  14. scared 19

    scared 19 Well-Known Member

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    It really helped me and i wanted to help others, i did exactly the same i printed it off and put it on the top of my memory box the dad one is slightly different its not really about losing your baby but i think like the poem said no matter what we were parents and will be xx
    What Makes A Dad

    God took the strength of a mountain,
    The majestry of a tree,
    The warmth of a summer sun,
    The calm of a quiet sea,
    The generous soul of nature,
    The comforting arm of night,
    The wisdome of the ages,
    The power of the eagle's Flight,
    The joy of a morning in spring,
    The faith of a mustard seed,
    The patience of eternity,
    The depth of a family need.
    Then God combined these qualities
    When there was nothing more to add,
    He knew His masterpiece was complete,
    And so He called it....Dad.
     
  15. HayleyB

    HayleyB Well-Known Member

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    thats really nice... will save that one i think,
    so when we do have a baby, i can write it in a card or something for him!!!
    Thank you for posting them, they're both really nice!!!!

    xxx
     
  16. scared 19

    scared 19 Well-Known Member

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    Its no problem at all and if you would like to talk i will always be here, look after yourself

    Liann
     
  17. Missy

    Missy Well-Known Member

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    Hiya, ive just read the poem and it made me cry !
    I would love to think my baby is watching down on me :(
    x x x x x x
     
  18. rnmum

    rnmum Member

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    I just read the poem and it made me cry too. I lost a baby in March and it comforted me to read it. Thank you so much for posting it, I think I will save it as well.

    Thanks again,

    Jenny
     
  19. scared 19

    scared 19 Well-Known Member

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    Its great isnt it it is one of them poems that even tho it makes you cry u cant help but love it! it was on a website by a woman that had lost triplets, she gave birth to them saw them for a few minuates then they passed away, her story had me in tears the whole day, i sent her an email telling her she should come on here as it had helped me so much but didnt get a reply she was such a strong woman to make a whole site about it, i am glad that the poem has helped you,
    Sending *HUGZ*

    Love

    Liann
     
  20. Missy

    Missy Well-Known Member

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    I feel so sorry for what some people have to go through :(
    I found it hard enough loosing my baby at 10 weeks !
    Maybe its cause im so young i dont know :(
    Coming on here and talking to people has helped me even though i didnt think it would :)

    I read some poems on the internet from poeple that had had m/c's and they were really beautiful :cry:

    Sorry for your loss 'rnmum'
    Take care xxxx
     

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