Why my OH cant be more supportive?

[MissThing]

I am almoust crying here! I am working my ass off to get breastfeeding on the track. With all the things I had I am still happy to breastfeed. But seems, my OH doesnt care if I give Daniel breast milk or chips ! I am soo soo mad! We dont have any relatives or anyone, who could help me with breastfeeding. OH works from home, so its a big bonus and It is what I am relying on! But just any time I need help, he has to work. I understand it, but, when 10 minutes later he comes to watch telly to have a break, he doesnt need to work anymore What could be so possible importaint, when Daniel is screaming his head of and I just need 5 minutes of help (like change him while I am getting ready and do stuff like that?) It just pisses me off! I am so mad and upset right now!

PS: I am in desperate need of a cigarette I have stopped smoking since I started TTC and havent had any since. But in moments like this I do need one and it takes me all the will not to, mostly becorse I know how dangerous it is to baby.

 

[leckershell]

It annoys me when OH is in bed awake and I'm changing Ryan and when I'm done I pop to the loo to wash my hands before I feed him again (I change him halfway through a feed). He knows Ryan's getting back into bed afterwards and that I've finished changing him, and the aim at 3am is to keep him chilled out so he'll sleep.

But he looks over the bed and makes Ryan go all hyper, so I come back, pick him off the changing mat myself (me with a v painful back at the mo) and feed a half hyper baby who then won't go back to sleep. In the meantime OH goes back to sleep so I'm up forever trying to get Ryan to settle.

I know it's not the same but it annoys me so much. I know how you feel... try "losing" the tv remote next to your baby so he has to help you. Or just straight out say you need help in a firm way and stick with it until he pitches in. That's what I'd do, "I really need some help here please", "(to your baby but in earshot of your OH)Sorry mummys being useless, it's hard doing it on my own"... if you keep saying things like that surely he'd get the hint.

That answer may not be the best way to handle it tho, it's just the way I handle it, and tho it pisses him off to start with, it gets the job done and now he usually comes to help after the first time except for at night... grrr

 

[Becky&Willow]

i know how you feel i am the same as leckershell just say things like mummys trying but its hard with no help etc etc.

When Willow was first born my OH found it very hard to bond with her and so diddnt really help to much he is ok now but the only thing i can say is and i beleive practally all men are the same is that they just wont use there own initiave (sp) but ask them to do something and they (hopefully) will

in reguards to the working bit i think he probably thinks (well my OH does) that he is working and bringing in the money for you and baby and so he might be feeling that if he was away from home at work that he wouldnt be able to help and he would get his breaks etc etc so he might be thinking it should be the same working from home, now although i understand your point of view i can kinda understand his thinking to.

if i were you try having a bit of a heart to heart thats what we did and it worked wonders.

hope i havent annoyed you just trying to put it in perspective.

Becky xxx

 

[MissThing]

Thanks for your replies He is always very sorry in the end. We talked the things over, and, hopefully he understood that I do need more support and breasfeeding isnt as easy as it seems to be (sitting on the sofa, eating and watching telly)

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Oh Tommo did this last night, no night before sorry! he had his ps2 on and she was whinging for a hour or so and he just ignored her, yes i could of done it but it was seeing if he did it then I did go through and pick her up and he started with the "I was going to do that hang on" and I just snapped at him that hang on wasnt good enough, and she has thrush and her nappy needs changing immediately, and he did his yeah, whatever - and I was dead cross with him.

He did apologise later on but i still had a pop at him. I was so cross. I feel bad for leaving her like that but he was looking after her and I was busy cleaning my kitchen.

 

[MissThing]

mrs_tommo : I know eaxctly what you mean! This "i was just going to do that" just pisses me of! Are all men like that?

 

[mrs_tommo22]

No and my oh isnt normally, Iguess they have their selfish moments and we have ours at some point - like praying for that extra hour in bed in the morning when you have been pu late nattering in he chat room.

 

[trixipaws]

well done staying off the cigs, keep it up- stay strong!

 

[Marijana FC]

MH and I are not working well these days either...What pisses me off the most is the fact that he can and he certanly does sleep through our baby crying and screaming! Even when Danica is sleeping right next to his head?!?!?! This means that I can never have a break and rely on him waking up in the night when she cryes...And than he wakes up in the morning and complains that he is tired?!?!?!