Why are most men useless?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by nicki, Oct 17, 2005.

  1. nicki

    nicki Well-Known Member

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    Since I found out i'm preggers i've felt crap and over the last 10 weeks the housework has been getting further and further behind. Today I actually feel human again (yippee) so have been hard at it all day, as a consequence my back is now killing me.
    My DH has never been good at doing the house work, he always says he doesn't know when it needs doing!!!!!! so was shocked when he volunteered all by himself to do the ironing, he did that (i'm v.grateful).
    I was giving my back a rest for a bit before I got started on the hoovering upstairs, he just got on and did it (just about getting over that shock!) and went upstairs to find the hoover still up there and eveything has been left thrown around the place - that's it, his job is done, so I now have to tidy up after him, Grrr. Am I being unreasonable to think he should tidy up after himself and finish the job he started?

    He came out with a corker the other day. I asked him (again) to cut the grass, his reply was 'Well, is it best to cut the grass when it's wet or dry?' A bit stunned by this I asked why, he said 'well, it's always best to get your hair cut when its wet, so I wondered if it applied to grass'

    I don't know if to laugh or cry!

    Does anyone else have this sort of problem or is it just me?

    Nicki.x :D
     
  2. Kim

    Kim Well-Known Member

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    I must be very lucky, my OH is sooo domesticated. He is better at washing, ironing and cleaning than me and does almost everything, he always has. I just do the cooking and washing up. He was a single father before we met so I suppose he just had to learn, but he's a gem, bless him. :D
     
  3. nicki

    nicki Well-Known Member

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    Hi Kim,

    You are lucky. My mate told me it takes at least 7 years to get them trained!!, oh well, only 3 1/2 years to go then :cry:

    Nicki.x
     
  4. Lisamum3

    Lisamum3 Well-Known Member

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    Nicki,

    Its something in the way they are programmed, they fail to realise if they want to do something like, stripping a motorbike down then it does require a certain amount of tidying up and not leaving oil and other bits across the garage.

    Otherwide mine is quite domesticated, can cook as well!!!

    xxx
     
  5. tracyM

    tracyM Well-Known Member

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    7 years????

    We're into our 9th living together and he's still crap at housework, and he's SUPPOSED to be the house husband.

    In the 9 years, I've managed to get him to put his socks in the kitchen (never quite make it as far as the wash basket), pick up the clothes from the bathroom floor (there's still two odd socks under the sink which I'm leaving to see how long they'll stay there for), hoover the living room daily (the circle in the middle of the room which he orignally did is getting bigger), and wash up (going round collecting the pots the kids have left out is still on the 'to-do' list, why pans need to soak for a week is beyond me, and why can't they understand that things need to be upside down to drain properly)

    I've learnt to accept it and tend to go round doing bits when he's out. It's even more annoying when I start to do something and he says 'I was just about to do that' :x .

    MEN!!!

    Tracy xx
     
  6. Amanda

    Amanda Well-Known Member

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    7 years?!?! NOOOOOOO!!!! I've only been married 4 months!!!

    It's true what you have said about them not seeing things. They are all blinkered. Yesterday, my DH got home an hour an half before me. He'd phoned me to find out where I was, and when I said I was round my Dad's trying to fix his virus infected pc (I work in IT), he said 'You won't want to cook when you get home then will you?'. I was waiting for the offer to cook (he's cooked 2 meals the whole time we've been together), but no, he said 'I'll wait till you get home, then you can phone a takeaway!!!' We're very short of money this month, and I'd already got mince out the freezer to make a bolognese!

    Then, when I got home, here is my list...........

    There was dry washing in the dryer to take out.
    There was wet washing in the washer to put into the dryer.
    He had no excuse for either of the above as the washing that was in the dryer were the seat covers from the sofa so he was sitting on the bare cushions!!!
    The living room and kitchen floor needed hoovering and mopping (we have 2 dogs so this needs doing every day)
    The dog bowls needed washing and then they needed feeding.
    The dishwasher needed emptying.
    The dirty breakfast pots could then be put in the dishwasher.
    The bed needed making (he'd got up late!)
    There was no toilet paper in the bathroom, just the cardboard tube from where he had finished it. (there are 32 rolls in the downstairs toilet, just needed taking upstairs)

    Good job I love him isn't it. :lol:

    He does this, but yesterday before I left work, I got my purse out to check I had money to go to the chemist, and a folded piece of A4 paper fell out. When I opened it, he had wrote 'I love you xx' in massive letters and hid it in my purse. :lol:

    And on Saturday, he took great pleasure in telling me that he'd gone to Asda for breakfast (he was working), and saw the flowers when he walked in. I love fresh flowers, and used to buy them every weekend with my shopping from Asda, but I now get Tesco home delivery, so haven't had flowers for a while. Well, he said to his workmate, 'I'm going to buy Amanda some flowers on the way out'. Aww, you might say. So I said, 'thats lovely, where are they?', to which he replied, 'Oh, I forgot them'.

    It's actually making me laugh thinking about him!! :lol:
     
  7. nicki

    nicki Well-Known Member

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    'I'm going to buy Amanda some flowers on the way out'. Aww, you might say. So I said, 'thats lovely, where are they?', to which he replied, 'Oh, I forgot them'.
    [
    LOL. Ooo that made me chuckle. I think it's a good job us ladies have a good sense of humour! :lol:
     
  8. hels

    hels Well-Known Member

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    LOL...arent they funny?!!
    i have been in bed all week with a chest infection, so i havent done much around the house, last night i said, i think ill feel up to doing the house tommorrow, but ill be knackered, but it needs doing.
    when DF came to bed he said, "dont worry about doing the kitchen its done" great i thinks, ill just do bathroom, hoovering dusting washing and general tidying!!
    got up this am, bless, he'd washed up......thats it! no work tops wiped, no microwave cleaned, floor not swept!!!!!
    bless his cottons!!! like its been said..good job i love him to bits! :!:
     
  9. nicki

    nicki Well-Known Member

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    I really would like to take a trip into a mans head and see just what goes on in there.

    When my DH and I first started living together i was suitably surprised when he got up & started to iron. After an eternity he finished. I walked into the bedroom to find all my newly washed clothes still in the linen basket. I asked him why he didn't iron my clothes too and the reply was ' Oh, I didn't know you wanted them ironed' I replied ' Do I normally walked around in creased clothes' before i walked out in a huff!!! :lol:

    Nicki.x :D
     
  10. Amanda

    Amanda Well-Known Member

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    Just had to re-open this one and post this on it. I got this is an email a couple of days ago, and it is so true!!

    How to shower like a woman:
    1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry basket according to whites and coloureds. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
    2. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
    3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups.
    4. Get in shower. Use face cloth, arm
    cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
    5. Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
    Wash hair again to make sure it is clean.
    6. Condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil, leave on hair for 15 minutes.
    7. Wash face with crushed apricot facial, scrub for 10 minutes until red.
    8. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.Shave armpits and legs.
    9. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower, spray mould spots with Tilex.
    10. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
    11. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover any exposed areas.


    How to shower like a man:
    1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed leave in a pile.
    2. Walk naked to the bathroom if you see wife along the way shake knob at her making woo-hoo sound.
    3. Look at manly physique in the mirror, admire size of knob and scratch your ass.
    4. Get in the shower.
    5. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.
    6. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
    7. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving four pubes stuck on the soap.
    8. Shampoo hair. Make shampoo mohawk. Pee.
    9. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Partially dry off.
    10. Fail to notice water on the floor. Admire knob size in mirror again.
    Leave shower door open, leave wet mat on the floor, leave light and fan on.
    11. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake knob at her and make woo-hoo noise. Again.
    12. Throw wet towel on bed.
     
  11. nicki

    nicki Well-Known Member

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    LOL. That was funny. How true is that? My DH blows his nose in the shower - WHY? I keep telling him its disgusting but he doesn't listen. The pubes bit made me snort too, very true!
    I've said it before and i'll say it again, men are a very strange breed.
     
  12. Zor-El

    Zor-El Well-Known Member

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    well when me and jut my oh met he was soooo domesticated (spelling)it was scary u didnt wanna touch anything coz it might go out of place 4 yrs on and a baby new house hes the complete opposite oh dont get me wrong he will hang his towel up and and put his dirty work uniform in the basket but thats about all he used to cook all the time but now hes excuse is i cook all day i dont wanna cook on my days off hes a chef btw lol its not like i ask much maybe once a week but nooo and why do men think that us women like food shopping hes says if he went i would have nothing to do and i love it anyway apparently :? :? but for all hes faults i still love him more everyday sad aint it :D
     
  13. Rosieroo

    Rosieroo Well-Known Member

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    Some men just don't seem to see the mess like we do. I'm sure DH would live in squalor if I let him! It took him over a week and after several times of asking to hoover upstairs (I can't carry it up, it's too heavy!). He never washes the bathroom mirror (he gets toothpaste splodges all over it) or washes the sink out properly after he's had a shave, his socks remain on the bedroom floor til I pick them up, changing the bedding is an alien subject. If he cooks then 90% of the time the baking tray or whatever he's used in the oven goes back in there for me to find smelling the next day. Cleaning the fridge or microwave would never happen.
    I actually had a really really bad chest infection a few years back and he'd been making me cheese on toast in the microwave (toasting the bread then melting the cheese on top in there). When I actually managed to leave my bed and went out to the kitchen I opened the micro and there was MOULD growing inside it. No wonder I couldn't shake off the infection!

    But I still love him. Just wish at the moment he'd turn super domesticated and give the house a clean that made it sparkle, as I am feeling too tired to do anything other than the bare essential hoovering, polishing, cleaning bathroom, bleaching toilet and worktop/microwave cleans.
     
  14. *sam*

    *sam* Well-Known Member

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    I've only just seen this post, How funny is that list? Hilairious!!! :lol:
    My OH also blows his nose in the shower, it knocks me sick! Also, I find random pubes in the soap!, even though we have shower gel ( he uses both for some reason)!! weird!
    He is quite good round the house though, if I ask him to do something he will do it. Doesn't do anything without me asking though!! Actually, he does iron all his own stuff, but this is only because he irons it just before he wears it!
    He's a good egg! Even if he does call me Monica! (from friends) :lol:
     
  15. lisa31

    lisa31 Well-Known Member

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  16. lauramumof2

    lauramumof2 Well-Known Member

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    hahahhahhahahah,
    Im laughing so hard at the last post. Why do they have to shake their knobs at us..........
     
  17. Kim

    Kim Well-Known Member

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    my oh never shakes his knob at me...i feel a bit left out now :( lol :lol:
     
  18. rach

    rach Well-Known Member

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    just a quick bit of advice for all you ladies sick of finding pubes in soap dont buy it lol everything liquid in my house so no pubes to find :D do not have bars of soap anywhere i buy liquid soap for all the sinks and shower gel for the bath and shower and we all have different colour shower puffs problem solved :D xxx
     
  19. Amanda

    Amanda Well-Known Member

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    I'm chuffed this post has been resurrected!!!!

    Because I'm so tired at the minute and our sex life has taken a bit of a beating, DH has taken to shaking his knob at me at every opportunity!! Thinks it will turn me on! :shock: Or he stands there with his trousers still on, cupping it, saying 'you want it don't you?'!!!!

    When will they learn that this is just a turn- OFF!!! :roll:
     
  20. rach

    rach Well-Known Member

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    pmsl tankett you dont half make me giggle hun xxxx
     

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