Who works full time or condensed hours??

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by First Baby White, Feb 5, 2009.

  1. First Baby White

    First Baby White Well-Known Member

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    I am due back to work in 9 weeks and the thought is seriously depressing me and I cant stop crying. I cant bear the thought of leaving harry all day, I love spending all my time with him.

    I am due to go back on a monday, tuesday, thursday, friday working 8-6 which will mean on those days I will hardly see him as he wakes up at 7 and goes to bed at 8. I feel physically sick when I think on this.

    I could take till july off but from April I dont get paid, we have taken a mortgage break to save money for when we next try for a baby in a year so in theory could have this time off but we wouldnt be able to save so we would lose £4000 of savings and also could put in jepordy the chance of having another baby :( I am planning on trying again in 12 months for a baby.

    I have done loads of sums to stay off but it doesnt work out plus I would have to pay back maternity leave so have to go back for at least 6 months and cant go part time. After this I could leave and go part time but I need to earn at least £16000 and dont think thats possible in my area. Also this would mean I hadnt been working somewhere long enough to get maternity benefits when I try again for our 2nd baby

    Sorry for the rant, the purpose of this post is to see if anyone is in the same situation and works full time and if so whats it like and how do you cope and does it affect your relationship with your child??

    Thanks everyone :)
     
  2. nori

    nori Well-Known Member

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    Hiya hun,

    I cant help with the fulltime issue as im only going back 2.5 days a week.. money will be ridiculously tight but im determined to do it somehow. Like yourself, im dreading going back and leaving Ollie with someone else. I would like another baby but i cant see it happening to be honest.. just couldnt afford it.

    Anyway, what i was going to say is why cant you go back partime with your existing company? i'm sure they have to give you a really good reason why they wont take you back. Also, evening work could be an option maybe? I know its not exactly glamerous but cleaning jobs or working in a supermarkey arent too badly paid. I've been thinking of anything and everything just to pay the bills.

    Claire x
     
  3. jennifer1981

    jennifer1981 Well-Known Member

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    Im in exactly the same situation as you. Due back in 9 weeks and feel completely sick at the thought. Im going to ask for 3 days per week so i canstill see Dylan on the other 2 and the weekend. Money will be tight but it will be worth while. Im not sure what happens with tax credits when you do this? It might make them go up a bit and then we wont be losing out on too much.
     
  4. First Baby White

    First Baby White Well-Known Member

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    In the job I do I can only work full time unforetunately as I have to do administrative work for a treamn iof 30 so need to be avialble whenever they are in, I am lucky that I have got condensed hours really. I could probably get away with the money part time inh my currect role as it is well paid but all the other jobs seem to be around £10-12k which isnt no where near enough pennies. Its a no win situation, I hate the fact I dont get to chose that I have no choice where all my friends who have council hopuses etc dont have to work. I wish I had never bought my own house, I hate hate hate it aaaarrggghhh. I just feel like running away with Harry so they cant ,ake me go back to work lol
     
  5. daftscotslass

    daftscotslass Well-Known Member

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    I went back full time at the start of January. I don't have a choice... part time won't pay our (averaged sized) mortgage and bills. Becky goes to nursery which she absolutely loves though she is off ill this week. I won't lie, leaving them is a bitch and I spent the second week back totally breaking my heart trying to figure out alternatives. The fact she settled in so well at nursery really helped and my work have been very understanding of the fact I dive out early every day (though I end up doing work for school for an hour or two each evening).

    Seeing her wee face when I come home makes it all worth it. She gets on well with the staff at her nursery but I'm still her mummy and I'm the one who gets the best smiles and cuddles. I don't think I can keep it up forever (definitely not if we have a second) but it's doable for the moment :hug:
     
  6. drea b

    drea b Well-Known Member

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    I went back three weeks ago doing exactly the same hours as you. Yes it's really hard leaving your LO but to be honest she is thriving at nursery and has only cried once - when I picked her up :roll: I do like having the Wednesday off work - really breaks your week up which is good when you are doing longer hours.
     
  7. Bagpuss17

    Bagpuss17 Well-Known Member

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    :hug: :hug: :hug:

    I went back to work full time after having my son, I did a staggered return to ease myself back in using annual leave. So only did 2 days a week for the first month then went up to 4 days a week. When my hols ran out I did condensed hours to have every other monday off.

    I did however, feel ready to return to work but that didn't take away the guilt I felt at putting money and myself first before my child. That said it wasn't an option to give up work for financial reasons. Plus I'm not sure I'd want to give up work totally.

    My son went to nursery for 2 days a week and he settled in really quickly. I do remember crying lots though but he was absolutely fine.

    I settled back into work really quickly and found it easy juggling work and home life as he was with family for most of the week. It hasn't had an adverse affect on my son at all or our relationship. You find the time that you do have together you make the most of.

    He's recently had his development check and is a year ahead on many areas. He's a happy, clever little boy.

    Good luck with returning to work. I know this is easier said than done as I'm already dreading going back to work and I'm not due back till October but try and enjoy the time that you have left. I bet once you actually get back to work, it won't be as bad as you feared and you'll settle into a routine with your LO.
     
  8. Zodiac

    Zodiac Well-Known Member

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    For me the thought of it ended up being soooo much worse than the reality.

    I was dreading going back to work.... partly not wanting to give up spending time with my son, partly feeling jealous that others would be spending so much quality time with him (would he still love me the best?), partly scared about work and how I would be treated.

    I went back when Oliver was 10months old - doing a 4 day week (0830 -1730hrs).

    He spends 2 days at nursery & 2 days with his nana & grandad.

    And to be perfectly honest - it's been absolutely fine. We went to a lot of baby groups when I was off anyway - so he was pretty good at socialising anyway and he still gets that now at the nursery. They are really good. He does lots of activities there.... I've been sent home his artwork, choc crispy cakes he's helped make & a pretend sparker (brown paper tube with gold tinsel at the top) at bonfire night :D

    He loves his days with the grandparents, who spoil him rotten & take him for walks to the park etc.

    And on the days I'm with him I try to make sure we do lots of fun stuff too. Go swimming, or to a soft play centre, I put on nursery rhyme CD's and we (me!) sing and clap along to that, walks to the park to feed the ducks etc.

    It means my evenings are really busy as I try to do all my housework (except the hoovering) after he's gone to bed.

    And I actually love being back at work as it does give me time off and some adult conversation too. They are really good too - on the days he's been ill and sent home from nursery, they are fine with me having to nip off quickly.

    And does he love me any less - NO of course not. And getting that big beaming smile and tight hug as soon as I get home or pick him up from nursery is absolutley priceless. :D

    Good luck with your return to work - I'm sure you'll do just fine!
     
  9. Chelle

    Chelle Well-Known Member

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    Awww I completely feel for you hun :hug: :hug: :hug:
    I'm in exactly the same situation. The latest I can return to work is Aug 4th but I won't get paid from April so I think I will need to go back earlier :( It is heart-breaking to think that my little man will be with someone else more then me on working days but I need to work to pay the bills and to buy him the things he needs :( Reading posts from the other ladies it seems maybe it's not as bad as we think and I guess you get used to it after a while.
    Sorry I can't help, hope it all goes ok :hug: :hug: :hug:
     

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